Travel Diary- New York

June 2006- World Cup round the corner-consequently a quarter final defeat for England was looming large - Work was getting monotonous - Internal audit at work – I started questioning if I was getting enough satisfaction (and money) for the work I do-resulted in a move away from my then comfort zone of Pattamal Street and my first employer.

June 2010- World Cup round the corner-consequently a quarter final defeat for England was looming large - Work was getting monotonous - Internal audit at work – I started questioning if I was getting enough satisfaction (and money) for the work I do-resulted in a move away from my new comfort zone of The Somers Isles and my second employer.

How strange is that? So that’s the news- It will be newer pastures (and hopefully greener pastures) in Singapore around mid–july. The move just makes sense overall- it will give the wifey a better chance to have a crack at her career. –Closer to home- what not.

Obviously, trips to this side of the Atlantic will reduce considerably over the coming years; ARR was performing in Atlantic City and S has been inviting us to visit them ever since I got engaged. All of this provided us with good reason to visit the “Empire State”

Day 1- June 12th 2010 Atlantic City and ARR concert

Quite strangely our AA flight departed on time and we landed in JFK around half ten. R had sent us detailed instructions as to how to get to NJ- It essentially involved taking 3 different trains to their place. We took the LIRR from Jamaica station to reach NY Penn and then took a NJ transit to Seacaucus. We missed our train to Clifton from where R was supposed to pick us up- He had to drive some 20-25 KM to get to Seacaucus. We reached their house in NJ-which was very spacious and has a lawn on the outside for the kids to play. S had promised to make me Parrupu Urundai Kozhumbu whenever I visited her and she stuck to the promise. We finished the meal with Rabdi for dessert. We took a bus from NJ to Atlantic City-most of the roads in NJ are probably as bad as the ones in Chennai- but once you reached the highway you can clearly see why people in US like to do road trips- The roads are super broad and you can pretty much drive at 150 KM/hr. Reached the Boardwalk auditorium around 8.00 –picked up our tickets from the will call-quickly grabbed some dinner and took our seats.

By god there are about a billion Indians in the US alone- beyond a point on our way to Atlantic City- every car had some 8 people inside it- All of them –Our makkal- It was pretty much Kannum Pongal at Marina beach- Everyone was eating what I can only presume to be Puliodharai and Thayir SadamJ- The concert began at around 8.30 and ARR began proceedings with a very powerful rendition of a superstar hit song-“Athiradee Kalam” from Sivaji with some colorful lights and fantastic dancers- The arena almost erupted with the twin joy of seeing ARR and mental picture of super star walking down the stage- It was just pure magic-whistles screeching-people hollering –and we were just getting started. The ensemble cast included Hariharan, Benny Dayal, Javed Ali,Neeti Muhan,Blaaze,Shewta Pandit and ofcourse ARR. Most of my mates tell me Indian singers don’t take concerts too seriously with all of them trying to experiment- Whilst I am not an expert on the subject and they are all professional and they know what they are doing, I still want it to be as good as the original.

Rahman knew what songs to pick to get the crowd going-Kwajha mere Kwajha (Jodha Akbar)/Chaiyya Chaiyya (Dil Se- More on that later)/Range De Basanti/Thamizha Thamizha (Hindi Version with Hariharan doing his usual changing to Tamil half way through the song) /Pappu Can’t dance (Jaane Tu Na)/Hi Rama (Rangeela) and quite as expected he finished with Jai Ho and a soul stirring rendition of Vande Mataram. The highlight of the concert was a medley they did which involved Rahman playing the harmonium and the various singers’ sang classical songs to the tune of cine songs in various languages and various religion. My biggest gripe regarding the concert was regarding Chaiya Chaiya song- The song is just not the same when Sukhwindra Singh does not sing it. Call it a hyperbole if you want but it’s the same when Kurai Ondrum Illai is not sung by MS. The concert finished around midnight and we decided to spend the night at Atlantic City

Day 2 – June 13th New Jersey- Shopping and Dinner 

Woke up around half seven the next morning and was inundated with texts from my mates telling me how shambolic the “queens boys” were against “Uncle Sam’s soccer” players. Ah well some things don’t change- Got a train and reached NJ to spend time with R& S and more importantly the 2 kids. Considering this was a trip with the missus we had to shop- so spent the rest of the afternoon in a mall picking up clothes and what not. I was in charge of the 2 kids and had to hold the bags for the missus and S- Mental picture of poor husbands standing in Ranganathan Street whilst the wife’s were busy shopping for “Sneha Saree” and “Simran jacket” Ah the joys of a married man! R & S took us out for a dinner to celebrate my birthday the next day- We went to an Ethiopian Restaurant and we just absolutely loved it-for all the foodies out there (which is pretty much all my friends) this is one thing you should not miss. Their bread equivalent is an Injera which is like a crepe and is absolutely delightful along with the sides.

Day 3- June 14th-New York City

Yours truly was turning 28 and there was no disappointment this year unlike the last few years where at some point during my birthday I was depressed about growing old- maybe maturity had found its way somehow- Ah who am I kidding? We took a bus from NJ to NYC and decided to do all touristy things like click pictures in front of Times Square and figure out what the big deal about the busy New York streets is all about. New York is quite an unique place-whilst the normal” No time for the rest of the world” is frankly annoying- the sheer pace at which the life generally moves is quite staggering. The missus quips that it’s similar to Mumbai but I am sure there is an element of exaggeration in that-I have seen busy Toronto and London streets to a certain extent- but NYC is something else. Especially if you are from Bermuda where every thing happens at snails pace and you have time to greet almost everyone on the street.4 Years ago when I came to Bermuda- I wanted to work in the Wall street- My time in Bermuda has spoilt me and I am not sure if I really want it now. (I know the irony – Moving to Singapore might not be the best thing if I don’t want a busy life style- hey I like the role so I am going to give it a shot!)

We went to the usual places- Madame Tussaud’s/Empire State Building/Ripley’s Museum- The missus eyes absolutely lit up when she saw wax models of George Clooney and Brad Pitt- I could almost hear her say- with all this available in the world- look at what I picked? Tough luck sweet heart- Maybe another time

We came back at around 4.30 to spend more time with the kids- I have to make a mention about the 2 kids- They are such dolls- especially S1- so much maturity that sometimes I was ashamed thinking about how much of a brat I was when I was six/ultra protective about her little sister and has varied interests- I hear she is quite the tiger in academics too. Its speaks so much about the parenting of R&S. For some strange reason S1 seemed to love my slap stick humor- you cant blame her for she is bloody six and I am funny as f*ck- ok the second part was an exaggeration. I miss her now that I am back on the rock

S made Tacos and we had a quite and peaceful dinner with some wine.

Day 4- June 15th-back In Bermuda

Left their house around 12.30 in the afternoon feeling a little guilty about all the help R & S did during our stay. We had an absolutely cracking time and memories for a life time. Hopefully the missus and I would travel quite a bit in the coming years but sadly it won’t be on this side of the Atlantic. Singapore beckons!

Cheers

S

Welcome Home – Golden Balls

The prodigal son came home last night-a long overdue return to say a huge thank you to the 70-odd thousand who adore him and still treat him as their own-7 years after an acrimonious exit- Not on his own terms- But Becks was back- like he always is. A 25 minute cameo which included a rasping drive and a few pin-point crosses which someone like a Ruud would have safely deposited in the back of net- he was easily Milan’s best player of the night. To see Becks, eyes welled with tears and the stunning ovation from the red devil faithful- the ironic boos about his first touch and the inevitable “Fergie Fergie sign him up chants” was all pure drama and it had to bring out the feminine side in most people- well at least all hardcore fans. The man knew how to milk it too-after all has there ever been a bigger exponent of the self-promotion game? This is not to cast any aspersions on his true love for all things United- so much so that he found time to give his tacit support to “Green and Gold” campaign” to free United from the crippling debts- Deny it all you want Golden Balls- we know you are not that dumb.

As an aside, It was very disappointing to see Fergie act like a bitter old man- Its all well and good not wanting to get involved in a “media circus” involving DB- But the game was all but won- a few word other than- “he is a good crosser of the ball” wouldn’t kill you- After all the lad hasn’t had a bad word to say about you for 7 years despite having a boot kicked to his face- Roy Keane would tear you a new one if you did that to him- Show some class- Fergie- Its all well and good against Rafa and Arsene but against Becks????? You know he treats you like a father- Grow up Fergie- you can learn so much from our boy

Cheers
S

2009-The Year in review

As clichéd as it may sound- the year has flown by so quickly-I still vividly remember standing on the shores of south shore on the eve of new years talking about things I wanted to do in the new year and suggesting new year resolutions to S and the rest of the lot- This after the bat-shit mental dance routine we did with the boys- well choreographed but horribly executed by the crew- hey no complaints we had a cracking time. It just seems like an ordinary year from outside- with the usual joys in life –Liverpool fans claiming this is going to be their year/Indian cricket moving from being the most overrated to simply sublime in a matter of few months/Sunil Gavaskar spouting xenophobic drivel/ India judicial system taking ages to punish criminals for a crime against the state but I reckon the year had more action and drama than usual. This is a year when the world got obsessed with Facebook and twitters- People found an obsessive compulsion to let their friends and fans know about everything from the color of their undergarments to the frequency of their bowel movements- I thought I was self obsessed because I blog- Funny times eh?

The year got off to a truly memorable start even for a brown Asian guy with the Barrack Obama being elected the 44th President –the first African-American President of the United States. I don’t care too much for American politics but it is such a refreshing change to see the American president be able to successfully string a couple of sentences without looking like a – well “Bush”. The man has got a personality and a presence about him that you can even feel on the television- I don’t care what he is speaking every time he is on the television I pause for a few minutes to hear him speak. and speak he did a lot during the year. This is certainly not some blinded following because the world media made me believe so- I think I have a small man crush on him for the way he carries himself- Its got nothing to do with his health care policies/stance on war on terror. People were watching him with their jaws wide open as if they have never met or see a black man all their life. On the other side of the world journalists /common man were busy throwing shoes at politicians.

A R Rahman tried to steal the headlines in February with an Oscar award for his less than impressive compositions for a British movie with an Indian plot. Of course most Indians were offended that either their beloved Kamal Hassan has not won the Oscar as yet or SDM was not an Indian movie so ARR and us Indians should not be proud of his achievements. But the headlines for this month clearly belonged Mr Muthalik and his men who in an act of attention seeking behavior and because they are the moral guardians of all that is good and well in the society decided to attack women in pubs.They felt these women were bringing a shame to the famed traditions and customs of the “Indian Bahu”. Taking a leaf out of Mahatma’s books in an attempt to retaliate through non-violent means and borrowing an idea from the wonderful souls who thought it was an intelligent idea to send the pope condoms, the wonderful ladies – or the Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women as they would like to be called thought it was a fantastic idea to send the man Pink Chaddis. The latest we hear is the pope has changed his ideas about birth control and HIV and Muthalik is so ashamed of himself that he is encouraging women all over the world to drink and is contemplating changing the symbol of his organization. Well done Gals. In other news -On the other side of the world journalists /common man were busy throwing shoes at politicians.

While the rest of the world was busy battling recession/depression the head honchos in the world of politics and business were busy buying jetliners/luxury suites and spending zillions on building statues for their kith and kin. A lot of them were apologetic but did not find the need to return the money to the tax payers who were made to pay for their livelihood and luxuries.

After 30 years of enthralling the world audience with some magical music/dance performances and enriching the lives of several drug dealers and quack doctors MJ breathed his last in June. A fantastic artist but a shame he will be remembered for his operations/drug use as much as he will be remembered for his music. Fans world over were heartbroken and took down quite a few internet sites while there were strong rumors of a lot of children breathing a sigh of relief- we are unable to confirm this. Common man and World journalists were busy throwing footwear at politicians while MS Gill and Suresh Kalmadi had a petition doing the rounds to make this India’s national sport to break cricket’s hegemony over hockey and Football. Lalit Modi was unperturbed as he was busy rubbing his hands and petting his cat and laughing like a maniac.

Delhi High court passed a landmark verdict in de-criminalizing consensual homosexual acts- This prompted men and women who were not even gay to come out of the closet- They just thought it was a hip thing to do and not to mention to earn a few hug from their hot female/male friends they couldn’t even get near if they were honest about their sexual orientation. In other news, SRK was completely outraged that someone had the temerity to frisk him – the Badshah of Bollywood at an international airport- A few days earlier Dr Abdul Kalam was frisked at an airport and the great man didn’t make a big deal out of it. Some men do have more class than others.

In October the Norwegian Nobel Committee announced that the 2009 Nobel peace prize award would go to a certain Barrack Obama. Conventional wisdom suggested that it was awarded for his public speaking skills before the committee came out and clarified that it was “for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”. Widespread sniggers from the public at large were drowned in the deafening applause from the employees of dictionary publishing companies and the patrons of burger shop round the corner. Obama accepted this award in Oslo, Norway on December 10, 2009 with "deep gratitude and deep humility."

Oprah decided that she wanted to create the record for serving the longest notice period in living memory. She has decided to retire in 2011. It will be an absolute shame that we will no longer be able to see grown up men and women in the audience act like delirious maniacs-crying and laughing on national television just because Oprah decided to gift them a free pass for her next show. George Lopez in his late night show made one of the most astute observations – Oprah has spent the past 26 years interviewing some of the greatest minds in the world. Then one day she decides to interview Ms Palin and immediately considers retirement- Well done Ms Palin.

It also seems like a very bad year for the Gillette group of Companies – 2 of their 4 icons have been caught in transgressions that they regret- Thierry Henry did a Diego Maradona on the poor Irish to send the Les Blues to the world cup at South Africa while Tiger Woods was (allegedly) busy texting and emailing every good looking chic in Las Vegas about how needy and vulnerable he is. World media is closely following Rahul Dravid and Roger Federer to see if they are going to kill their pet hamsters in the coming weeks. Most golf lovers are outraged that St. Tiger woods has done such an act and are worried about the sort of role model that he will be to their kids. The world would be a better place if people stop expecting sportsman and actors to be role models to their kids- I want my kid to look up to me for a role model and not Cristiano Ronaldo just because he is brilliant footballer. But what do I know? -On the other side of the world journalists /common man were busy throwing shoes at politicians.

Finally to me, last year I was hoping that I will realize in 2009 that it’s not important to be RIGHT all the time- God sure has a wicked sense of humor- He made me meet my special someone and suffice it to say that I haven’t been right even once for the past six months. Like they say god has mysterious ways of workingJ-

Cheers
S

PS I know this is a satirical post but no post about 2009 is complete if I don’t make a mention about one of the most fascinating incidents that happened in the year- Hudson River Plane crash rescue act- Bravo guys!

Heartfelt condolences to three special people who attained heavenly abode during the year – Nagesh/D K Pattamal and R Venkatraman

Here is hoping the fans/followers of Barrack/Bush/Sunil Gavaskar/Muthalik/SRK/MJ and like won’t take offence to this post

….and Chandler has finally met his Monica

The gods were conspiring- keeping a couple of my very close male friends single for a long time; the Delhi High court was conspiring with its landmark judgment recently. For long it just seemed destined to happen- as Jerry and George contend and I agree -not that there is anything wrong with that. I was even contemplating my own “Sharath ka swayamvar” on national television but none of the producers seem too interested- What???? you cant blame me I am sure I am more likeable and interesting than Ms Sawant.

Then came along S – a cost accountant and a MBA and more importantly sweet, intelligent and very understanding. I promise I wont bore you with details of how magnificent S is and how rosy my life has been for the past few months (but hell yeah she is fantastic). S was born and brought up in Mumbai- (Ooi- You lot at the back I can hear all the sniggering about how much I used to hate Mumbai- When did I even say a that????- Mumbai is brilliant and have always wanted to live thereJ-) and works as a relationship manager in a leading bank in Mumbai. We got officially engaged today and wedding will be on March 22nd.

As boring as it might sound I am a person who likes a routine- I am looking forward to waking up next to the same person for the rest of my life. S brings a sense of method to all my madness – and by god there is a lot of madness that she has to deal with. I am slowly trying to adjust to the responsibility that comes along with being in a relationship and learning a lot of things the hard way (I know we haven’t even started living together and there is already so much work to do- I can only imagine what it would be like when we do get married). But I wouldn’t have it any other way and wouldn’t want to have this with any one other than S

Can’t wait for March

Cheers
S

PS: For those of you who have come up with the whole-“ S has lost a bet with her friends and as punishment they are making her marry me”- Haha very clever very funny- I am not that bad- Hope S agreesJ-

The Big Fat Indian Wedding

There are a few weddings round the corner in the family- P has found her prince charming and has been all smiles for the past few weeks much to the joy /relief of one and all in the family. My cousin A is about to get married sometime next year and some very close friends R and P are also about to take the plunge. As a natural consequence the number of conversations involving weddings have increased manifold. Most people are completely looking forward to the big idea whilst some are not so worried about the wedding and are more worried about the marriage. One such conversation with T leads to this remark from her “it’s such a sheer waste of money and is an annoyingly silly joke with the bride and the groom as puppets who have no clue why they are doing what they are doing! Silly ;) and the ever so subtle VAK man had this to say recently.

As my friends love to remind me – I can start an argument in an empty room – This subject has been evoking some strong and passionate responses- Do weddings have to be a fancy fanfare? I just thought I might add my side of the arguments (Why the heck do people refer to their opinions as $ 0.02- Is it because they know it’s pretty darn useless?). Let me start off by saying I love Indian Weddings- They are an occasion to celebrate and rejoice – not only for the bride and groom but for the entire family. There is hope for a long and a fantastic association not only for the heroes and heroines of the ceremony but for the both the families. Families have always been of paramount importance in Indian customs- How else do you explain the concept of arranged marriages?

Its is so easy for the westerner or the confused nouveau-rich middle class Indian to mock and scoff at the proceedings of an Indian wedding for being a pointless and worthless exercise- but we need to bear in mind that unlike the westerners our lives tend to focus on family rather than the individual. I remember Aishwarya Rai had a brilliant retort to David Letterman –

D (Trying to be smart) - I heard Indians live with their parents even after they are 18
Ash: yeah- At least we don’t have to make appointments with our parents to have dinner together

It has always been about the family – Every success is cherished with the family, every failure is endured together- comfort in numbers. It is a real shame that most of us are ashamed of our customs and traditions- For the last time- Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t make it wrong.

I am not saying that every Indian wedding should be done at the cost of making someone bankrupt- It is after all not a status symbol –Just because Karan Johar decides to get Kajol and Shahrukh married with 7,327 elephants,8,236 band masters and food enough to feed the entire African continent doesn’t mean you have to do the same. We have been accused of showmanship- but what the heck do you expect – It is a celebration and it is bound to go slightly over the top- That is not only an Indian trait- westerners are equally culpable.

I am all for fanciful and fat weddings as long as you can afford it- A son or daughter getting married is a once in a life time thing and people would love to celebrate what is essentially the core values and traditions that define the Indian society with family and friends by bringing them all together under one roof- It’s a time to party and party we will- completely oblivious to what the world thinks of us-

So bring on the 3 day events- 5 course meals-fun and dance- because WE ARE LIKE THIS ONLY and there is not a thing any of you can do about it.

Cheers
S

Viva Ronaldo - Obrigado pelas recordações

After 6 years of enthralling us, the fans of my beloved Manchester United and annoying the fans of Scum, Rent Boys and Le Arse with moments of sublime skill and sheer audacity Ronnie has decided to seek newer challenges in greener (and sunnier) pastures of Spain. United have accepted a bid of $ 130 Million from the Satan’s in Spain- a world record deal which will be signed sealed and delivered when Ron agrees personal terms in the coming days. Born on 5th February 1985 in Funcal on the Portuguese island of Madeira to an alcoholic father (who he dearly loved) and a mother who shared the same burning ambition as her son that he would one day play in the white of Real Madrid, he decided to further his footballing education under the tutelage of arguably the greatest manager of all time Sir Alex Ferguson and joined United in the summer of 2003.

Legend has it that- United were playing a pre-season friendly against Sporting Lisbon (Ronnie’s former club) and a spotty young kid was running circles around the likes of Gary Neville/Wes Brown and John O Shea and they came in at half time and pleaded with the manager to sign this bloke as they never ever wanted to play against him. Sir Alex was equally impressed and had instructed the devil incarnate Peter Kenyon (our ex-CEO) to not come back to Manchester without signing this kid. Ronnie joined us in 2003 and was asked to carry on the tradition by wearing the famous number 7 jersey previously worn by legends like George Best, Bryan Robson and David “Golden Balls” Beckham- Not an easy task for a kid from the Iberian Peninsula who is to play in alien conditions. He was seen as initially as a one-trick show pony that was more interested in the tricks and flicks rather the end product. He moved from strength to strength and was rightly won the prestigious Ballon d'Or seeing off competition from the little magician Messi. Later in the season he was crowned FIFA world player of the year.

Ronnie has achieved everything there is to achieve with Manchester United – a hat-trick of premier Leagues, 1 FA Cup, 2 League Cups, 1 Club World Club and the big one- UEFA Champions league. In this time he had also won the golden boot and the player of the season awards. No right minded fan would begrudge him as he pursues his childhood dream after everything he has done for us in the past 5 seasons. To top it all he is making us richer by $ 130 Million (which is higher than the GDP of the island nation of Kiribati) which is over and above all the replica shirts he has helped us sell in the past 5 years.

The audacious back heel against Aston Villa, the forty yard screamer against Porto and amazing counter attack maneuvers with England’s boy wonder will remain long in our memory. No amount money can help us replace a champion like you and it will be a shame that we will no longer hear the fans of scum try to belittle your achievements while craving to find a player like you to wear their jersey. Good luck son and thanks for the memories. You will be missed and will always be one of us.

THERE IS ONLY ONE RONALDO and it is not the one from brazil- That is the highest compliment any one can ever pay you as we all know how bloody good the magician from Brazil was. With stunning looks and a chiseled body, amazing skill and huge amounts of money- Most women want to be with you, most men want to be you and then there are some men who want to be with you.

Cheers
S

MyPL Dream Team

Last year around the same time my friend B (who btw celebrates his birthday today Happy Birthday mate) picked his IPL team of the year. To be honest he beat me to the idea but his team pretty much reflected my take on the team of the year. A year and Lalit Modi a few millions richer later I thought I will try a team of the year of my own. Plus I realized anything you write about the IPL will get you more hits on the internet than Ms Susan Boyle. So here goes my eleven:

Matt the Bat (Chennai Super Kings)

He has not played cricket for a year yet he comes out and bats as if he is playing with his kids in the back yard. Ultra consistent and showed amazing intelligence when he played the anchor role and carried his bat through against Mumbai Indians showing the world T20 is not all about wham bham thank you maam.

Gilly (Deccan Chargers)

I can’t get my head around as to why he chose to retire from International cricket. He is still one of the cleanest hitters of a cricket ball and the closest thing to Viv Richards. Led his side very intelligently so much so that most people didn’t even realize VVS was dropped as the skipper. He would be leading my side, it was a close call between him and Kumble but I have always believed wicket keepers make better skippers as they are constantly involved in the game and have a better understanding of the field placements.

Suresh Raina (Chennai Super Kings)

Mr. Gavaskar reckons Greg Chappell was the worst thing to happen to Indian cricket completely ignoring the irony that our man was instrumental in hiring Greg. I think the whole world has seen what Greg saw in Raina. He is a very intelligent batsman, more than capable to hold his own with the cork, electric in the field and every captains dream team mate. One of the very few Indian batsmen who adapted quite well to bouncy tracks in South Africa (along with Rohit Sharma)

Dilshan (Delhi Dare Devils)

I was very impressed with his capability to read the length early, a very Srilankan trait. Some of his strokes brought back memories of Aravinda Desilva in his hey days and I cannot pay him a better compliment than that.

ABD (Delhi Dare Devils)

Nobody turned on the screws in the last six over’s better than ABD. Made a stunning hundred against the CSK and formed an amazing partnership with Dilshan. Paul Collingwood is one of the best batsman in the shorter form of the game, but ABD’s form ensured that he did as much work as clerk in a government office in India.

Rohit Sharma (Deccan Chargers)

See above Suresh Raina part II

Ojha (Deccan Chargers)

Any left arm spinner who can keep Daniel Vettori out of the side has to be special (well from myPl XI atleast). Another fantastic season has earned him a place in the T20 world cup squad and we can only hope that he doesn’t follow Murali Kartik and drift away after showing great early promise. Left arm spinners like leg spinners have this charm and are wonderful to watch when on song.

Anil Kumble (Royal Challengers Banglore)

It may seem like another “Ryan Giggs for player of the year award saga” but Anil has been fantastic. Taking over the shambles from KP and instilling self belief in a rather poor Bangalore side is nothing short of fantastic. A special mention for having the courage to take on the challenge of bowling to Gilly - another example of him leading from the front. I haven’t had the privilege of watching Chandra/Bedi or Venkat but to me he is India’s greatest spinner by a country mile. He may not have the guile of Murali or the variety of Shane but he makes up for all of it with Heart.

Munaf Patel (Rajasthan Royal)

A real shame that he missed out in T20 world cup squad but the only consolation is that he is replaced by RP who has been an absolute revelation. If any one has any doubts of Shane Warne’s mentoring skills we need to look no further than Munaf. He bowled a fantastic last over against Mumbai Indians and was good enough to pick 16 wickets at average of just over 15 and an economy rate of tad under seven

RP Singh (Deccan Chargers)

A fantastic come back by a bowler who showed so much early promise, hopefully he can stay away from injuries and keep Zaheer Khan on his toes. There is so much to look fwd to if you are an Indian supporter over the next 5 years. A bowling squad of Zaheer/Munaf/Ishant/RP has to be every coach’s dream

Ashish Nehra (Delhi Daredevils)

Clearly the surprise package of IPL2. I didn’t realize he had picked up so many wickets. I also owe him an apology as I of the opinion he was hindering the progress of another young fast bowler. Another thing that he can be very proud of is he was indirectly responsible for keeping the legend that Glenn Mcgrath is out of the side. His wicket taking ability allowed Sehwag to pick Nannes ahead of GM as a gamble and one that actually paid of


Special mention to Fidel Edwards/Andrew Symonds/JP Duminy/Lasith Malinga/ Muralitharan/Jakati who were quite impressive

Let me know if you agree or disagree with my side.

Cheers
S

Dear Rush Limbaugh

Dear Rush Limbaugh,

Hope this letter finds you in good health and wonderful spirits. I see you have been frothing in your mouth talking about the complete blasphemy that “slum dog” Indian worker’s have the temerity to work hard and be better than at you at something. I thought it might be appropriate time for me to apologize on behalf of the billion and counting Indians. Further, I thought this would be an appropriate moment to gently remind you about some facts:

a) We have come and taken over your jobs because we are better than you in this game. Companies, no longer have a national Identity- so if they can find someone who can get the job done MORE efficiently and effectively than you poor Americans, they will do it- So please deal with it!

b) I may be wrong- But I do get a feeling that you are annoyed as you see this as a case of someone coming into your house and not allowing you to live a peaceful and happy life- I have just one word for you- IRAQ- Not a fan of irony are we? God does work in mysterious ways to make things a level playing field

c) If you get a chance to remove your head out of you’re a*s you will basically realize that America and Americans do not have a god given right to have everything your way. Your lovely founding fathers championed the cause of the American dream – To quote Wikipedia - The American Dream often refers to the opportunity for immigrants to achieve greater material prosperity than was possible in their countries of origin. America has been viewed as a land in which one's prospects in life are defined by one's talents and energy rather than by one's family wealth or political connections. This hope includes the opportunity for one's children to grow up and receive an education and its consequent career opportunities. It is the opportunity to make individual choices without the restrictions of class, caste, religion, race, or ethnic group
We are not even in your country –So what in devil’s name are you complaining about?

d) Indian Culture has a strong emphasis on education and we have basically earned the right to take over from what was once considered an American preserve—Not through any underhand means but sheer hard work—We are just better than you lot in writing codes and performing brain surgeries. No wonder more Americans are coming to India to have surgeries performed on them at a cheaper cost with more effectiveness. But I am sure you’d rather die in your wonderful country because you cant afford health care than have a surgery performed by an Indian doctor

Wiser men like Bill Gates have acknowledged this whilst you choose to remain a bitter old man with a lot of xenophobic bile. In summary, I am very sorry that people have negative perceptions about Americans - which has always prided itself in rewarding meritocracy because of nutjobs like you. Like you lot say God bless America

Till we meet again, so long my friend

Cheers
S
A humble Indian

Travel Diary- London and Manchester

I am not really a resolutions person- but I did make up my mind about a few things I wanted to do and it did happen around the turn of the year- so if that makes it a resolution then I have done quite well on my new-year resolutions thus far. An employee of an airline company made a rather rookie mistake and offered discount fares to London from Bermuda (fares that you would kill- annoying co-workers for). This offer was supposed to be available only for employees but his mistake made it available to world at large- This coupled with the fact that my beloved Manchester United were going to play Jose’e men at the Theatre of Dreams meant it was a perfect opportunity to visit the queen’s land and annoyingly call everyone “Love”- I don’t know what it is with English women- they insist on calling everyone “love”- Like my hair dresser – every time I go to her our conversation goes something like this:

HD: What can I do for you my love?
Me: Err…I can think of a hundred things but you are fat ugly and old…so a hair cut would do just fine

Anyways- I did get super cheap tickets to London, spent a fortune on the game tickets and got a wonderful excuse to catch up with T/B and M and also to do touristy things like pose in front of her majesty’s palace. The preceding three weeks were just outright brutal- from the stress of not knowing if I will cling on to my job- see my heart broken friends leave the island for no mistake of theirs- see friends lose their loved ones (and not even being around to give an arm around their shoulder) A vacation seemed a perfect escape route- I was feeling quite horrible about myself on the flight actually- but it was the only way I could get away from all this


Wednesday March 11th 2009

I reached London around half six in the morning and dropped my bag at T’s and hopped on a train to Manchester that morning- Reached Manchester around half four and picked up my ticket from the agent and started walking to the ground-There was a festive atmosphere all round the city- Almost every guy seemed to be going to the game with scarf’s around their neck/beanie on their head/paint on their face and the united anthem on their lips- I was walking with that stupid grin on my face- like the one kids have when they ride their bike for the first time. I started singing along with the rest of the fans- My voice stood out in the crowd- I got stares from people – I don’t blame them – it was like our deva singing an English song- Deep hoarse voice – voice that is just not suited to singing. I went into the stadium and the whole thing just takes your breath away- I am not exaggerating like I always do- there are some places that really do- Like the first time I came to Bermuda- I was awe struck for a good 2 weeks- I am not going to go into the details of the game- Cracking game – Sung my heart out for 2.5 hrs-loved the experience and got hugged by a weird Malaysian dude when we scored- still not able to sleep

Thursday- March 12th 2009

Came back to London that morning- T was supposed to take the day off and we had planned to go around the place and argue about the zillion things that we disagree on. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen but K was kind enough to take me around London- We did all the touristy things like –See Buckingham palace-London Eye-Trafalgar Square –West Minister’s Abbey and clicked a zillion pictures. I did go to a rather fascinating place –Sherlock Holmes museum which is indeed located in Baker street- Totally loved it despite not knowing too much about Mr. Holmes/Watson or Sir Arthur Doyle.

Friday- March 13th 2009

The plan was to meet M in London and the both of us would go around the place- But he felt he’d rather cut his hand with a knife and spend the day in hospital with a fractured finger and some damaged ligaments than hang around with me and that is what he did- M had a kitchen accident and spent the day in hospital waiting for old nurses to call him love. I was on my own again- I decide to make this day a sporting pilgrimage- What better places to visit than the “Mecca of cricket” and the Wimbledon? I have always had a strong interest in and affinity towards Wimbledon- grew up watching Ms Graf win games like she owned the fuck*ing place. I met up with this rather beautiful Japanese woman who was rather inquisitive about a rotund Indian guy and a weird accent. She was a complete joy to be around with-Shame that she never got my name and I don’t remember her’s. T and I met up in the evening and argued long into the night like we always do- Glad to know nothing has changed after all these years. I have to make a quick word about the tube facility in London- It is absolutely fantastic-Amazing how well the city has been connected-

Saturday-March 14th-2009

Caught up with B after ages- We had English break fast at a pub and watched the first half of the United –Pool game before sanely deciding to go around the city and catch up on old stories and the latest updates. I did annoy B with my slap stick humor as always- and I guess he enjoyed it slightly better this time as the frequency had come down drastically. I had a cracking time with B
Met up with T in the afternoon and we were planning to do a “Jack the ripper walk”- but like the flavor of the tour made alternate plans as we found out that the tour guide was an self obsessed as*hole who’d rather talk about himself than Mr. Jack. We turned in early that night as T had an early morning flight to catch

Sunday- March 15th 2009

Came back to Bermuda after thoroughly enjoying the last 4 days- My idea of a vacation is completely different to most people- I try and appreciate the different cultures/ and traditions but that is not the point of vacations- I like to go and see new places/catch up with old friends and do things that I wouldn’t have done normally and try and spice up things a little bit. There are so many places that I want to visit before I kick the bucket- so it is more like crossing a list and enjoying things in my own way- So I apologize if my travel diaries aren’t too interesting-It is just my personal journal to come back and read it in say 10 years time

Cheers
S

PS: I saw a lesbian couple making out in the tube- It completely changed my take on public display of affection- God bless the ladiesJ-

And I live to fight another day...

Around 40 people including some of my close friends. Close shave…Thank lord for small mercies

Cheers
S

Sleepless in Hamilton

It’s been 10 years since I finished school- Last week I was writing to a friend of mine and I mentioned

“I also realize that I have gone through a hell a lot over the past 10 years and am quite happy at where I am in life. Very few regrets”

Its true- I am very glad as to how the last decade had turned out – Quite a few personal highs (I am no world beater but am happy with some of the things that I have done) and some lows- but nothing has been soul-shattering. Just as I finished reminiscing, a mate of mine pinged me to find out if I was ready to attend what is now widely referred as “The Meeting”. We were supposed to have a business update that morning- A meeting which big boss addresses once a quarter and we were expecting it to be along the lines of the previous 2 meetings where he tells us – There is a lot of madness in the market and the financial power houses are struggling to keep up but still we are doing reasonably well- However, we do not know what’s in store and do not want you to believe any of the rumors that are doing the rounds”. Most of the sane ones think this exercise is a waste of time as he is not telling us anything new and is only sowing the seeds for more rumors as people start reading in between lines.

Rather reluctantly we went for the meeting- boss had a rather serious look on his face and the news wasn’t too good- We had decided to let go people and this could be as early as next week. So after weeks where most of the company was in denial- (like an ostrich with its head firmly under the ground and believing the world is dark) we were brought down to reality. We didn’t know how many people were going and more importantly who were the unlucky ones. The process was going to be a long and painful one- At least it will seem long as we had a weekend in between and a lot of negative energy in the system. Ideally, I would have it as quick as ripping a band-aid and be done with it- But I would also like to be a millionaire and marry Ms Jolie but I don’t think god concurs.

I was also thinking that it would be a huge dent on my rather fragile ego if I was on the list- because in my not so humble opinion I think I deserve to stay- but that’s not how it works- it will have to be a combination of whose accounts are doing well/performance of the individual/the whole Bermudian vs non-Bermudian thing (rightfully so – I have come here to make a living and the locals should get preferential treatment in a crisis situation- It’s not like I am inventing a cure for cancer- I am just an accountant and there are enough people on the face of earth who can do my job). I have had enough sleepless nights since last week and believe you me I have even seen big boss lie next to me in my bed (in my dreams obviously- you naughty perverts). The whole thing is just bloody scary- I don’t even want to think about being without a job in these troubled times.

Some one once said - A recession is when your neighbor loses his job, a depression is when you lose your job- Sounds right to me

Cheers
S

PS: The only positive out of the whole sleepless nights is I stayed up to watch A R Rahman collect his Oscar and rather strangely I haven’t been able to get the smile off my face. Congratulations son- You have done us all proud- Jai Ho

Boys do cry

It was a cold morning in December 2007 and I was speaking to a newly married B about the missus and how life has changed in the past 3 weeks (B’s typical answer was- It’s all the same-No difference). B and I are close in a very different way- we don’t talk much about life/feelings. We just keeping calling each other to ensure our life and career are on track. To avoid the awkward moment, and knowing no other mechanism, I had to say something funny- So I quipped- “Now you have someone to take to a movie and make out”- B tried to keep me happy and let out one of those fake laughter’s- You know the one we use your boss says something and think its really funny when its not. He went on to mention that he and the missus had watched Taare Zameen Par last week. Most of my friends are movie buffs and everyone had waxed lyrical about the movie and told me that it was impossible not to cry. So I asked B if he cried and he said yes.

I am not a huge movie fan for a couple of reasons- One – When I go to theatre – My constant need to yap and make smart ass remarks puts off most people and they start hurling abuses at me. Two- I have the attention span of a three year old. But I wanted to watch this movie and find out what all the fuss about. More importantly I wanted to see if I will cry. My sister sobs like a “two year old who has had her candy taken away” every time she watches Kuch Kuch Hota hai and it pisses me off so much for I really think there is nothing to cry about. I thought TZP was another KKHH all over again. So I did end up watching the movie. I did cry when I watched the movie but in my defense it was not for the Dharsheel kids acting but for a small documentary which comes in the movie. So it really doesn’t count.

Fast forward, Jan 2009- Cold February morning- I wake up at half seven and turn the TV on to watch the Australian Open final- Watched a fantastic game between 2 great champions and thoroughly enjoyed the contest without holding an ill-feeling towards the opponent (Nadal- I am a Fedex fan but not a big one- Once Agassi quit I just picked Federer because I thought he was the man who is good enough to knock Pistol Pete off the perch) which is something which never happens when I watch a football /cricket match. My hatred for all things Liverpool / Sachin (Not any more) is/was so intense that I enjoy a perverse pleasure when they don’t perform as well which is not in the spirit of the sport but I couldn’t care less-(Actually I could I am just not trying harder) .

I bawled like a baby when I watched Fed getting all emotional about his defeat. The man is a champion and he hates loosing (I know how he feels exactly). It got me thinking – I have cried so many times while watching a sporting contest- Be the numerous occasions when Lara couldn’t inspire the Windies/ United’s defeat to Benfica to get knocked out of the Champions league/ Our gut wrenching defeat to the blue noses on the eve of the 50th anniversary of the Munich Disaster. How can you not cry when you see Pete Sampras pull out a note from his pregnant wife to over come a difficult time in a game, when Sachin gets a hundred a mere days after his dad attains heavenly abode and looks up in the sky,or David Beckham scores the penalty against Argentina in 2002 world cup and cries thinking about all the hate emails/chants he has had to endure after his moment of madness in the 98 world cup. Sport brings out the raw emotions in people- players and fans alike.

This is when I actually realized what people mean when they say I actually cried when I watched the movie. Art and Sport have this unique ability to make you relate to people we don’t even know in flesh and blood but still make us feel for them. What will we all be without Art and Sport? I shudder to think

Cheers
S

PS: Veteran Actor Nagesh has decided to leave us mere mortals and go back to where he came from. Rest in Peace great man- You have given us an opportunity to realize how brilliant you were for something’s are treasured only when you no longer have them. One of the few times I remember crying when I watched a movie was – Nammavar Scene where he tries to keep his calm after his daughter’s death- Absolute genius

The year that was 2008

Before any of you think it’s an entry recounting the events that happened across the globe in the past year, it would serve you well to remember I am as self obsessed as the next man. So this is a quick post to reminisce MY past year which had some wonderful memories and some not so wonderful ones. At the risk of sounding clichéd, 2008 was a mixed year. I can’t really say what my biggest take away from this year was.

I can’t remember another year which I was so looking forward to- personally, professionally and academically. Maybe the problem was lofty expectations, unrealistic dreams and a lot of greed. January did not disappoint- I will not lie like many others – I did not have too many dreams/ ambitions when I was a kid-at least I don’t remember the ones that I had.( I did have one stupid dream of playing cricket for the Australian team - I was such a big idiot). I was a happy kid who did not care about anything as long as Patti gave me food 6 times a day and no one asked me to study. I do distinctly remember one such dream -My mom had always wanted to go and see the Alps (Long story- Sivaji Ganesan-die hard fan- sivanthu mann). As fate would have it – my mama, mami and their 2 adorable daughters live in Geneva and were kind enough to put up with my parents for 2 months. So I had arranged for them to have their vacation in Switzerland moving away from our 3000 year old family tradition of going to Delhi/Hyderabad on my dad’s LFC – (I am not complaining- I have had some fantastic times on those LFCs- Nimbu Paanis for 25np, Appu Ghar, Cup-o-Noodles on the train-Getting down in all the stations-Pure Bliss)

February, was one of those mixed months- I was delighted that VAK/S were getting married but disappointed to have missed his wedding. K&S were also getting married and I was generally happy for K – (I didn’t know S before the wedding). Just when I get a little cocky about how wonderful my life is, god plays one of his cruel jokes that he seems to reserve for me- he tempts me with my big dream job in the big apple-picture this it is exactly like that smelly rat going for the masala vada in your kitchen- you guessed it- there is a trap- I get mighty close and US state department decide now is not a good time for me to be in the US- you know with all the great depression round the corner et all.

2 months of trying to work around the system basically meant that my focus was not on my exams- thankfully work was kind to me and I had enough time to catch up. My beloved united were playing some stunning football and help me take my mind of all that is happening around. We are on our way to 10th league title and just one less than the scum and hopefully we will do it May 2009. To make things better we reached our holy grail in Moscow and for the 2nd time in my life time we were European champions. The rejection was now a distant memory and I was pretty darn confident about cracking my exams- After all this was supposed to be my year

I did do my exams wonderfully well and despite the fact the M was leaving us in June there was plenty to look forward too- Orlando trip/more job interviews lined up/didn’t have much to do at work. I got the feeling maybe 2008 was my year. We had a fantastic time at Orlando and I conquered some of bat-shit crazy fears.

The next 3 months are some of the craziest times I have endured- a colleague of mine decides to quit and I am entrusted with more responsibilities at work-I get rejected by a couple of big employers- cause they suddenly had a hiring freeze/I was too young (yet rightly qualified)- I flunk my exams by the thinnest of margins. To top it all I miss one of closest friends wedding in Chennai because I was thinking my big break was round the corner. After all this was my big year. The economy worsens and there was not a chance in hell that I could get my next big break. I was feeling totally worthless and went into a cocoon of sorts.

I went home in November- caught up with lots of friends-enjoyed the extra attention Pattamal street was showering on me-went to banglore- traveled by train after 5 years-went to B&Ls house-met R&J-basically did everything I intended to do. There is something about going home when you live overseas- you basically get up to prospect of doing absolutely nothing bust still get treated like a king- Ah Good times.
The 18 days basically made me realize- Maybe 2008 was not a bad year at all.

Here I am on the last Sunday of this year-looking back at a rather eventful year and thinking 2009 is round the corner- Maybe just maybe it will be MY YEAR

Here is wishing you and yours a happy prosperous and blessed new year

Cheers
S


PS: I am not big on New Year resolutions but these are some of the things I want to do in 2009

a) Watch a game at the theatre of dreams
b) Travel around the world
c) Mostly importantly realize its not important to be RIGHT all the time

This could have been US

Al-Zeidi may have also been motivated by what a colleague described as a boastful, showoff personality."He tried to raise topics to show that nobody is as smart as he is," said Zanko Ahmed, a Kurdish journalist who attended a journalism training course with al-Zeidi in Lebanon.Ahmed recalled that al-Zeidi spoke glowingly of anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, whose followers organized protests on Monday to demand his release."Regrettably, he didn't learn anything from the course in Lebanon, where we were taught ethics of journalism and how to be detached and neutral," Ahmed said.

I have absolutely no intentions of justifying what Mr Al-Zeidi did to the American president. Mr. Bush to his credit (and rather surprisingly) handled the situation very well with a rather cheeky retort. But let’s for a second step back and think about the incident. Forget the fact the he was an well educated journalist- He was just a passionate man who wanted to live in his own country with peace and quiet and not have any external interferences.

This could have happened to any of us- After the Mumbai incident every indian was seething with rage and were generally frustrated that none of saner heads in India could come up with a proper solution to tame the ever increasing menace of people who kill in the name of god. Every Ram, Rahim and Robert could clearly see that the BJP and Congress were blaming the religion they hate to be responsible. We couldn’t give a flying fu*k. All of us have wanted to throw shoes at Idiots standing in front of camera and blaming a particular religion for the terror attacks.

I sincerely pray to god that this situation will never arise in India (or anywhere else in the world for that matter) where educated people throw shoes at idiots because they are not allowed to live in peace in their own country.

Cheers
S

Oh to be a Mylaporean!

I take a huge amount of pride in identifying myself as a Mylapore Tam Bram. It is unbelievably hard to explain why mylapore is such a wonderful. It is neither as sophisticated as Adyar nor as dirty as T Nagar. It has this unique aura about it and you need to live there to actually appreciate it. Technically, I was born and brought up in Mandavelli which is different from Myalpore but still I have this huge affinity to this place. I don’t care what the corporation of Chennai says to me they are the same. Also to me any place starting from Marina Beach to Nandanam signal and Music College to Alwarpet Anjaneyar Koil is Mylapore.

When I was a kid I never appreciated the northern hemisphere/southern hemisphere. The continents were all too complex for me- The world in my innocent head was very very simple- Mylapore and the rest of the world. Anything that wasn’t Mylaporean was alien to me. Unsurprisingly most of my close friends (from school-for I cant claim to have made too many close friends outside school) lived in mylapore- it was more like a requirement- if you had to be my friend you had to be from mylapore. I have heard people say- “I hate Mylapore”- I can’t get my head around it. What the f*ck is not there to be liked? We have the Marina Beach (has to be single most beautiful place on earth), KaBali Koil (I know it’s supposed to be Kapaleeswarar temple- but is sounds so much cooler this way), PS School and of course Pattamal street. We can also boast about having the likes of Crazy Mohan’s/S Ve Shekars/ Cho Ramaswamies living amongst us. (Not to mention Thiruvalluvar!!!- Though I haven’t met him)

Let’s take the case of T Nagar- The place is an absolute sh*t hole. They are just confused- they are not sure if they want to be a cheap shopping market or a proper residential area like Mylapore. The result is crazy traffic which would put Bengaluru to shame. It lacks to the kind of history that Mylapore has. Don’t even get me started on places like Anna Nagar/Nungambakkam. How do people spend their childhood without playing cricket in the gallies. It’s as if they built the roads in these areas for buses and cars to ply- Heck no, it’s for kids to play cricket and break window panes.

The lovely people of Mylapore have their own set of rules to live by. They might sound a little hyprocrictal but there is something endearing about them. Some of the hilariously funny ones are:

a) Thou shalt appoint a know-it-all mama-Every street in Mylapore has to have this know-it-all mama. He should have retired some 10 years ago from a bank (Preferably Indian Bank!). Every problem in the street has to be run past him before we can get to a solution. Whether it is the non-functioning street light or the umpiring decision in the cricket match or the credit crunch in America- His decision is final. There is no appeal to this gentleman’s verdict. He is always right!

b) Thou shalt be a Mylapore Brahmin- We don’t care if you are Iyer or Iyengar- the rules are very simple- You can drink like a fish but should not smoke or eat any non-vegetarian dishes which is not chicken. Hey don’t blame us we don’t make the rules- its just the mylaporean way

c) Thou shalt send your kids only to PS/ Vidya Mandir- In the sixties and seventies this honor went to PS/Raja Muthiah and should you decide to send your girl child to school it had to be Rani Meyammai. Now its strictly PS/Vidya Mandir and St johns if your kid has this mean streak about him

d) Thou shalt not ditch Ambiga Appalam- Anytime one of your relative decides to leave the shores of Mylapore and go to the rest of the world as indicated above you have to get Podis/appalams only in Ambiga Applam. The purists are very offended that this tradition is no longer being followed and people are shamelessly running to Grand Sweets in Adyar-Adyar of all places!!!!

I wouldn’t trade my memories of growing up in the lanes of Mylapore for the world. I am going home in about 2 weeks and I can’t wait to go around the streets of mylapore on my bike with gay abandon.

Cheers
S

Of Quality Spinners, Sledging and Andrew Symonds

There has been a lot of talk about how the Aussies have lost their invincibility and more importantly the reasons attributed to the same-ranging from – Retirement of Shane Warne/Glenn Mcgrath/Adam Gilchrist, the lack of form of Brett Lee and Ponting losing his marbles and how he has suddenly become a bad captain (Dhoni being the new genius!). I have always believed Ponting was never a great captain and will never be one- I am sure the likes of Mark Taylor / Hansie Cronje and Stephen fleming are being seriously offended by these claims by the media- Great player, he is but definitely not a great captain. Another of such myths is that the difference between the 2 sides has always been Gilly- Let me be the one to break this one- Gilly averages 27.89 against us as compared to a career average of close to 48. Whilst I fully understand that he offered them the luxury of playing another all rounder- Brad Haddin offers the same and hence his effect has been nullified.

Before I start giving my reasons for their failings, I have to admit that I haven’t watched the series ball by ball and have only watched 1.5 sessions per day owing to the odd timings at which the game starts. But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. Let me also put my neck on the line and say that Aussies are not on a decline and will come back quite strongly and not surprisingly it would the England in the ashes who will face the brunt!

The biggest reason for their failings in India is the lack of a quality spinner- No shit Sherlock!! But hear me out- They don’t need a spinner who will run through the Indian top order like a hot knife through butter (or Cristiano Ronaldo through a premier league defense –Hehe!) They need a steady spinner who will keep an end tight and allow the likes of Lee Johnson and Clarke to go about their business. The opposition that has done well in India had players like Nicky Boje /Pat Symcox/Paul Harris/Ashley Giles - Not world beaters but people who are willing to do the dirty job for you. It’s a shame that Brad Hogg has retired as he would have offered this and a little more! How the aussies would kill for a spinner like Greg Mathews now? Also can someone please explain the wisdom of playing Cameron white- The man has the control of a drunk lunatic in a skating ring? If he is offering extra batting depth then what the hell is Watson doing? Play a proper spinner for f*ck sake

What in god’s name was Andrew Symonds thinking when he went fishing instead of attending the team meeting? If I was him and I was the one racially abused as he and the rest of the Australian team have been claiming I will be waiting for my chance to come to India and put Harbhajan in his place – Show him who the better player is. As wonderful as an alternative that Shane Watson provides he does not intimidate the Indians as much as Simmo does. That’s the reason everyone goes after him. The aussie middle order is not attacking the Indian spinners as much as they should- Come on after all India are playing a spinner who is still wet behind his ears. Attack them on the field and then start throwing the words. That has been Ian Chappell and Steve Waugh’s mantra all through the years and as much as we all hate it none of us can claim it has not worked. Further, he would have provided an excellent defensive spin bowling option.

Over the years, I am the Aussies have learned that they should not be sledging a few people – Brian Lara/Viv Richards/Chris Gayle to name a few. I remember Lara scoring a rather measured 213 against Australia and thanking Ponting for giving him the challenge he needed after Lara had a shocker of 30 minutes against Lee and Mcgrath and Ricky had some choice words for him. Most of the current Indian crop falls into this category – Dhoni/Harbhajan/Ishant seem to perform better if someone is having a go at them- Let your cricket do the talking and after all they are the best side in the world and have enough ammunition in the armory to beat India or at least pick your targets right

Having said all this I am thoroughly impressed with the way Indians have played thus far in the series and special mention to Sourav for not making his farewell series a media circus. Indian cricket is definitely on the ascendency and there is no denying it. At the moment there is nothing better the world cricket can offer than a closely fought India vs Australia series and this series has been a let down from neutrals perspective because the Real Oz haven’t turned up. I for one am hoping for better contest in the 3rd and 4th Test

Cheers
S

Murali Sharath!

My web space hasn’t had an update for about 6 weeks now. A couple of friends who haven’t had anything to do other than twiddle thumbs at work (S & S – I am looking at the both of you) have been pushing me to write about something. I have had a terrible 2 months (I just realized that the last major excitement I had in my rather inconsequential life was Berba signing for United- Yeah Yeah my life is sad.) A combination of working with a lot of idiots, complete mayhem in the market and a lack of general excitement in life have had me in bad spirits and painfully rather low self esteem so much so that I haven’t been speaking to my dearest/nearest that frequently and am sure at least a couple are raging mad (Sorry T- I am sure things will be fine). Anyway it’s nice to be back and I hope to be more regular.

I have been playing cricket all through summer. A friend of mine called me as a last minute replacement for one of the games. Mediocrity amongst the rest of the gang and an Asian connection earned me the nickname “Murali Sharath”. I have quietly been enjoying the nickname whilst modestly trying to brush aside any comparisons to the champion spinnerJ-. Our team is called Renegades Cricket club and comprises of a bunch of South African/English men and couple of Indians. We are a decent hard working side but the real motivation for most of the team members is the beer. We have been playing in this league for 6 years now and we are the South Africa of evening League- 5 semifinals appearances in 6 years after topping the table in the group stages and yet not a single win.

We did reasonably well in the group stages finishing 3rd and therefore had to face Health Department who finished 2nd after walloping us in a group game when they reached our target of 73 in less than 6 overs. The semi finals was reduced to 10 overs a side (from the customary 20-20) as it was quite late in summer and it was getting rather dark by half seven. We won the toss and decided chose the willow over the cork and we recorded a reasonable 72 of 10 overs despite losing 3 early wickets with hardly any runs on the board. Their openers got stuck into our seamers and piled up 40 runs of our first 3 overs. Shoulders dropped and Nasser Hussien’s famous lines about the English team after they lost the first ashes test in 2005 came to mind- “Same Old Renegades- Same old bloody Renegades”. As a last throw of the dice the skip threw the ball to me and asked me to tie down an end which I have been doing through out the tournament. I bowled spectacularly- (One of my best spell in long long time) - picked up 2/15 in 3 overs. Below mentioned was the actual write up about me in the team magazine-


"By the fifth over the run rate was under six, and the doctors looked ready to sew up an easy victory. Stand-in-skipper Goodyer realised it wasn’t going to be his day with the ball and wisely stepped aside to make way for some sub-continental guile from Sharath. A change in pace and some delightful flight proved difficult to diagnose and the portly Murali took the breakthrough wicket, trapping the batsmen LBW with a quicker ball Yorker. The Sharath and Shillingford partnership started to stem the hemorrhaging slightly and the run rate started to climb again as the wickets fell."

They needed eight runs of the last over and after some tight bowling from my spin twin-R we won the game. I would have picked up the MoM if there was one- Anyways was really glad about our performance and we were in the finals. We will be facing Belmont in the finals that have clearly been the best side in the tournament winning all their league matches and comfortably topping the table. Quick sides note about our opponents in the finals- They took competitiveness to levels unseen in the evening league during our league game by using choicest words to imply I was the half brother of one of their batsman before we exchanged blows on the fields and it was all very ugly.

I was very happy to be facing them in the finals and was praying I will have the last laugh. People who know my ultra competitiveness wouldn’t be too surprised but I was ready for another round of fist fight if it meant I have to win. Unfortunately, that guy missed the finals and I was a tad disappointed.

We won the toss yet again and decided to bat first- It was a rather flat wicket with no moisture as it quite a hot day. I was sure the wicket was going to afford sufficient assistance to the spinners and was looking forward to having a real go at them. We got 139 from 20 over which was a reasonable total but I thought we were about 20 runs short as it was a small ground. As has been the pattern through out the tournament our opening bowlers were murdered and we conceded 33 of the first 3 overs. I was introduced into the attack after my heroics in the semis.

Big Shill and I kept things tight and I was rather unfortunate to not pick up more than the one wicket I got. We dragged us back into the game and gave ourselves a wonderful chance to win the game. Gooders and Ryan continued our good work and we won by about 16 runs. Special mention is due to our skip gooders who stroked a masterful 78 in the blistering heat and this was after the marathon he ran that morning! The magazine had this to say about me:

"Raj was sent to cow corner to think about what he’d done, and Narayan was brought into the attack to provide some vital dots. As in the semi, the Sharath-Shillingford combination seemed to work, slowing the run rate and Narayan thought he had the breakthough when a catch was popped up to Targett and silly-mid on, but somehow Conk contrived to spill it. Sharath’s contribution came to a close with a fantastic caught & bowled in his final over and was replaced by Goodyer, now recovered."


Renegades Cricket Club are the champions of evening league! I don’t know if I am looking fwd to next year as I really hope I won’t be here for the summer!

God luck and Godspeed!!!!

Cheers
S

Berba in the Theatre of Dreams

Just like that famous night in Barcelona when we reached the promised land in extra time, United have clinched the Berba deal well beyond the deadline on Sept 1. I don’t know what it is with United and tight finishes. I don’t know who writes the scripts but it’s pretty darn exciting. Last night WE (and I proudly say we despite all the abuse G and R give me for this) pulled off a deal which was effectively the last piece in the brilliant puzzle- United signed Dimitar Berbatov from Tottenham Hotspurs in a four year contract for £ 30.75M. The moody but brilliant bulgarian will now team up with the likes of Rooney, Ronaldo, Tevez, Anderson, Nani, Giggs and Scholes and the result in all likelihood will be football from the train factory. There are question marks about his temperament but I have absolutely no doubts that Sir Fergie will set this right and even the rivals will grudgingly admire the quality of play. At the risk of offending a few Arsenal fans, I think we can now challenge Arsenal for playing the best passing football in the country.

I am by no means saying we will win the treble this year but any fan who does not get excited by the likes of Berba/Rooney/Ronny/Tevez playing together has to be to be a cynic! I for one am literally creaming my pants!

Bring on the scousers!!

Glory Glory Man Utd.

Cheers
S

An Open Letter to my dear netas

Amidst your busy schedule of addressing public gatherings which are as important as my pub*c hair, could you please get your assistant to set up a meeting? We need to talk.

For over sixty years you have had your way and taken a lot of things from us even if we didn’t want you to- Obscenely rich weddings of your kith and kin, palatial six bedroom apartments, fancy cars and family vacations to the Swiss from money you were taking from us - But still happy to oblige! This is a nation which treats its politicians as demi-gods and you have supporters who are willing to put their life on the line simply because he thinks his leader is not treated with respect. He does this in earnest, believing you are working for the nation’s welfare. In return all we want are a few fundamental things which in my not so humble opinion aren’t too much to ask for!

Religion and Terrorism

We are a secular nation and are highly tolerant one. But that does not mean the people will remain quiet after every atrocity that happens to them. Please do not introduce a religious angle to every political problem and cultivate hatred amongst the people. I sincerely believe most terrorist act has a religious motive behind it and is caused by an earlier discrimination. We as a nation do not want another Gujarat episode and that is exactly what is about to happen in Kashmir. Every inflammatory statement by you will create another series of terror attacks just because an idiot took offence to it.

Curb Inflation

I don’t have the exact facts but I am pretty darn sure that no other country will have a prime Minster and finance minister with a better CV. I would be wasting my time talking to them about the ill effects of inflation. It has to be the single largest deterrent of growth.

Nuclear Deal

As I indicated in one of my earlier posts, we need to get the nuclear deal signed sealed and delivered at the earliest. You can read my thoughts on it at http://sharath-irrelevantrants.blogspot.com/2008/07/well-left.html

Political Heirs

Please stop picking your political heirs from you family. Most of these are people have done a rather poor job of shaping their life. How the fuc* are they going to run this nation? There is a reason why we are a democratic country.

Tata Nano- Farmers vs Industrialization

It will be a bushesque mistake if we don’t encourage a project by one of our biggest and most respected companies which has nearly 34 patents on car design alone with such investment and employment generating potential. It has to be treated like a national project. The state government should ensure the farmers are justly compensated in terms of price for their land and employee opportunities in the car project through suitable policy initiative. It will send all the right signals that we are a nation with the right political atmosphere which is conducive for investment. The growth that we have had since we adopted liberal economic policies is there for all to see.

Olympics and the so called lesser sports

The recently completed Olympics have sent out yet another timely reminder as to how badly we have treated the other sports (except cricket). Its definitely not crickets fault that the other sports have been given step motherly treatment. The administration has failed miserably in not setting up excellence centers and our crab mentality has only achieved in ridiculing the likes of Sania for the attire rather than appreciating her talent. It may be sound clichéd but a nation of billion people can definitely do better than 3 medals

Strikes and Bandhs

There has got be a better way of lodging a protest than to bring the economy to a stand still for a day. It is incomprehensible how a nation which is generally perceived to be hard working has taken such a strong liking to strikes. We have all moaned and complained about the red-tapism and nepotism that exists in government offices yet we have ridiculed the one chief minister that decided to act against this. I am not here to discuss the rights and wrongs of Jayalalitha’s actions but it is just the attitude of the nation that stinks in this regard.

Separatist movements and Kashmir

Kashmir is an integral part of India and we should never compromise even with an inch of our territory. Anytime we bow down to a separatist movement which is keen to use methods aimed at hurting women and children we are setting a precedent. I honestly believe the separate policy on Kashmir has triggered the movement of separatism. Please do away with your Hindu-Muslim bickering ensure that the wishes of Pakistan and the separatist organizations are not fulfilled even if it means by force!

Corruption

It might not be an inappropriate time for me to remind you that you are not an employee in some casino at Vegas who works on Minimum wages and tips! Stop believing it is some sort of god given right for you to earn extra money for doing your job. That’s the not the way it works for the rest of us and there is no frick*ng reason why it should for you. I am sure there should be an easier way to avoid corruption in government offices than for Indian Thatas and Anniyans to come and set it right. If it means it will eradicate the problem I don’t mind a few of each breed.

Sub Nationalism

Please stop all practices which encourage sub nationalism. India need not burn just because dada has been dropped from the Indian team.

I know doing most of the above might not be in your best financial interests but your country needs you now more than ever and after all we’ve done for you it is the least you can do for us!

Love
Disgruntled Indian

Avani Avittam in Bermuda

I absolutely love this festival- the only day I do any remote justice to the cool 25 grand my dad spent on B and me for our Poonal function. I love wearing the veshti although I have never managed to pull it off with grace. I always keep imagining that one day I will have a wardrobe mal function in front of Vicky-our neighbor’s dog and it will actually stick all 4 of its paws into its mouth and drop dead. But thankfully that has never happened and I don’t have to live in guilt for the rest of my life!

I also like the extra attention I get from patti when I wear the veshti- She constantly goes “Enda antha sreecharnmathae innum nanna ittukakodatho- Raja madhiri irrukada” (Why can’t you wear that Sricharnam properly- You look like King”) – (I am as surprised as the folks reading this). It is also the day of raksha bandhan- the day I get to act extra protective to my little sister. It is a day of overall happiness. There is a unbelievable amount of feel good factor when you celebrate these Tam Bram functions- I don’t know what it is – maybe the food or the day when everyone in the family actually forgives each other for all the mistakes we have made through the year. Trust me, coming from a joint family of nine people we constantly need these functions to keep us going- It gives a chance to forgive and re-start the wonderful journey (Man, I am sounding like Oprah suddenly!)

Having decided to go home for Diwali basically meant that I couldn’t be home for Avani Avittam (S, huge and sincere apologies for missing your wedding but my best wishes are always with you). So it was avani avittam at Panaoram Hill in Hamilton Parish, Bermuda. Being the god fearing patti’s little boy that I am, I woke up early in the morning took a shower and diligently sung all 5 slokas that my mom taught me when I was a kid and changed my poonal. It’s unbelievable how you forget the lines if you haven’t even thought about any of them for 2 years. I still remember the dialogues from Rajini’s Moondru Mugam even though I haven’t watched that movie for close to 15 years.

I was thinking that I could have done a even elaborate thing if only I had the “dharbai” as K had ellu and other requirements while chennai online was having an online version of “parachu” at one thousandth of the cost (our vaathiyar in Chennai for close to 130 years who used to charge a million bucks for bringing 4 poonals and mouthing off mantras so fast that sometimes we had the feeling that he has shifted to the Karunanidhi’s school of thought and translated all the Sanskrit mantras into tamil!) Damn, I miss that man- God bless him!

Anyhoo, I had renewed my pledge to uphold to my vedic duties towards humanity at large
K and S being the wonderful souls that they are had invited me for lunch. I managed to reach their place by about eleven. They hadn’t finished cooking as yet and once we exchanged pleasantries the conversation inevitably reached the menu part. I haven’t seen so much food since B and L’s wedding. S had apparently started cooking at eight this morning and I was surprised that she hadn’t started earlier. I am bloody sure that her mom had fed her with Red bull instead of milk when she grew up and all the energy refuses to leave her body. K was his usual self trying to correct every minor error that cropped up and trying to perfect the art of cooking I was still wondering how they come up with the energy to cook so much stuff so early in the morning not only for themselves but for an outsider. Anyway, I am just thankful that such kind souls exist and I get to eat any food beyond Maggi and the magic pastes made at Grand sweets.

We enjoyed the brobdingnagian meal which included Kesari/ Parrupu Payasam/ Vadai (I hate it when people call it vada)/Mooru kozhumbu/sepan kazhungu/parrupu/thaakkali rasam/thayir pachadi/Maanga orukai. It was only fitting that we had such a meal in a vaazhai elai- So K plucked a few leaves from the garden and we couldn’t wait to get our hands on the food. It was unbelievably tasty and aesthetically pleasing! It brought back wonderful memories of avani avittam at Pattamal Street. Home away from home!

It also reminded us of a rant by M at Orlando where he cribbed about how Bermuda was such a horrible place to live and how we are unable to get most of the stuff at Bermuda at times when we needed it most We disagreed with him then, but now I know what he means- How can you not have Ganga water on Avani Avittam day????? It just spoiled the whole experience! – (Sarcasm anybody?????)

Cheers
S


PS: M, I am sure you would have enjoyed this day to bits if you were around in Bermuda. We do miss your wonderfully flawed logics and your innate ability to argue about absolutely everything under the sun, not to mention your gift of being able to speak first and then think about what you said! Good luck with everything you take up back home and wishing you the best in everything!!!!!