Dear Rush Limbaugh

Dear Rush Limbaugh,

Hope this letter finds you in good health and wonderful spirits. I see you have been frothing in your mouth talking about the complete blasphemy that “slum dog” Indian worker’s have the temerity to work hard and be better than at you at something. I thought it might be appropriate time for me to apologize on behalf of the billion and counting Indians. Further, I thought this would be an appropriate moment to gently remind you about some facts:

a) We have come and taken over your jobs because we are better than you in this game. Companies, no longer have a national Identity- so if they can find someone who can get the job done MORE efficiently and effectively than you poor Americans, they will do it- So please deal with it!

b) I may be wrong- But I do get a feeling that you are annoyed as you see this as a case of someone coming into your house and not allowing you to live a peaceful and happy life- I have just one word for you- IRAQ- Not a fan of irony are we? God does work in mysterious ways to make things a level playing field

c) If you get a chance to remove your head out of you’re a*s you will basically realize that America and Americans do not have a god given right to have everything your way. Your lovely founding fathers championed the cause of the American dream – To quote Wikipedia - The American Dream often refers to the opportunity for immigrants to achieve greater material prosperity than was possible in their countries of origin. America has been viewed as a land in which one's prospects in life are defined by one's talents and energy rather than by one's family wealth or political connections. This hope includes the opportunity for one's children to grow up and receive an education and its consequent career opportunities. It is the opportunity to make individual choices without the restrictions of class, caste, religion, race, or ethnic group
We are not even in your country –So what in devil’s name are you complaining about?

d) Indian Culture has a strong emphasis on education and we have basically earned the right to take over from what was once considered an American preserve—Not through any underhand means but sheer hard work—We are just better than you lot in writing codes and performing brain surgeries. No wonder more Americans are coming to India to have surgeries performed on them at a cheaper cost with more effectiveness. But I am sure you’d rather die in your wonderful country because you cant afford health care than have a surgery performed by an Indian doctor

Wiser men like Bill Gates have acknowledged this whilst you choose to remain a bitter old man with a lot of xenophobic bile. In summary, I am very sorry that people have negative perceptions about Americans - which has always prided itself in rewarding meritocracy because of nutjobs like you. Like you lot say God bless America

Till we meet again, so long my friend

Cheers
S
A humble Indian

This could have been US

Al-Zeidi may have also been motivated by what a colleague described as a boastful, showoff personality."He tried to raise topics to show that nobody is as smart as he is," said Zanko Ahmed, a Kurdish journalist who attended a journalism training course with al-Zeidi in Lebanon.Ahmed recalled that al-Zeidi spoke glowingly of anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, whose followers organized protests on Monday to demand his release."Regrettably, he didn't learn anything from the course in Lebanon, where we were taught ethics of journalism and how to be detached and neutral," Ahmed said.

I have absolutely no intentions of justifying what Mr Al-Zeidi did to the American president. Mr. Bush to his credit (and rather surprisingly) handled the situation very well with a rather cheeky retort. But let’s for a second step back and think about the incident. Forget the fact the he was an well educated journalist- He was just a passionate man who wanted to live in his own country with peace and quiet and not have any external interferences.

This could have happened to any of us- After the Mumbai incident every indian was seething with rage and were generally frustrated that none of saner heads in India could come up with a proper solution to tame the ever increasing menace of people who kill in the name of god. Every Ram, Rahim and Robert could clearly see that the BJP and Congress were blaming the religion they hate to be responsible. We couldn’t give a flying fu*k. All of us have wanted to throw shoes at Idiots standing in front of camera and blaming a particular religion for the terror attacks.

I sincerely pray to god that this situation will never arise in India (or anywhere else in the world for that matter) where educated people throw shoes at idiots because they are not allowed to live in peace in their own country.

Cheers
S

An Open Letter to my dear netas

Amidst your busy schedule of addressing public gatherings which are as important as my pub*c hair, could you please get your assistant to set up a meeting? We need to talk.

For over sixty years you have had your way and taken a lot of things from us even if we didn’t want you to- Obscenely rich weddings of your kith and kin, palatial six bedroom apartments, fancy cars and family vacations to the Swiss from money you were taking from us - But still happy to oblige! This is a nation which treats its politicians as demi-gods and you have supporters who are willing to put their life on the line simply because he thinks his leader is not treated with respect. He does this in earnest, believing you are working for the nation’s welfare. In return all we want are a few fundamental things which in my not so humble opinion aren’t too much to ask for!

Religion and Terrorism

We are a secular nation and are highly tolerant one. But that does not mean the people will remain quiet after every atrocity that happens to them. Please do not introduce a religious angle to every political problem and cultivate hatred amongst the people. I sincerely believe most terrorist act has a religious motive behind it and is caused by an earlier discrimination. We as a nation do not want another Gujarat episode and that is exactly what is about to happen in Kashmir. Every inflammatory statement by you will create another series of terror attacks just because an idiot took offence to it.

Curb Inflation

I don’t have the exact facts but I am pretty darn sure that no other country will have a prime Minster and finance minister with a better CV. I would be wasting my time talking to them about the ill effects of inflation. It has to be the single largest deterrent of growth.

Nuclear Deal

As I indicated in one of my earlier posts, we need to get the nuclear deal signed sealed and delivered at the earliest. You can read my thoughts on it at http://sharath-irrelevantrants.blogspot.com/2008/07/well-left.html

Political Heirs

Please stop picking your political heirs from you family. Most of these are people have done a rather poor job of shaping their life. How the fuc* are they going to run this nation? There is a reason why we are a democratic country.

Tata Nano- Farmers vs Industrialization

It will be a bushesque mistake if we don’t encourage a project by one of our biggest and most respected companies which has nearly 34 patents on car design alone with such investment and employment generating potential. It has to be treated like a national project. The state government should ensure the farmers are justly compensated in terms of price for their land and employee opportunities in the car project through suitable policy initiative. It will send all the right signals that we are a nation with the right political atmosphere which is conducive for investment. The growth that we have had since we adopted liberal economic policies is there for all to see.

Olympics and the so called lesser sports

The recently completed Olympics have sent out yet another timely reminder as to how badly we have treated the other sports (except cricket). Its definitely not crickets fault that the other sports have been given step motherly treatment. The administration has failed miserably in not setting up excellence centers and our crab mentality has only achieved in ridiculing the likes of Sania for the attire rather than appreciating her talent. It may be sound clichéd but a nation of billion people can definitely do better than 3 medals

Strikes and Bandhs

There has got be a better way of lodging a protest than to bring the economy to a stand still for a day. It is incomprehensible how a nation which is generally perceived to be hard working has taken such a strong liking to strikes. We have all moaned and complained about the red-tapism and nepotism that exists in government offices yet we have ridiculed the one chief minister that decided to act against this. I am not here to discuss the rights and wrongs of Jayalalitha’s actions but it is just the attitude of the nation that stinks in this regard.

Separatist movements and Kashmir

Kashmir is an integral part of India and we should never compromise even with an inch of our territory. Anytime we bow down to a separatist movement which is keen to use methods aimed at hurting women and children we are setting a precedent. I honestly believe the separate policy on Kashmir has triggered the movement of separatism. Please do away with your Hindu-Muslim bickering ensure that the wishes of Pakistan and the separatist organizations are not fulfilled even if it means by force!

Corruption

It might not be an inappropriate time for me to remind you that you are not an employee in some casino at Vegas who works on Minimum wages and tips! Stop believing it is some sort of god given right for you to earn extra money for doing your job. That’s the not the way it works for the rest of us and there is no frick*ng reason why it should for you. I am sure there should be an easier way to avoid corruption in government offices than for Indian Thatas and Anniyans to come and set it right. If it means it will eradicate the problem I don’t mind a few of each breed.

Sub Nationalism

Please stop all practices which encourage sub nationalism. India need not burn just because dada has been dropped from the Indian team.

I know doing most of the above might not be in your best financial interests but your country needs you now more than ever and after all we’ve done for you it is the least you can do for us!

Love
Disgruntled Indian

Well Left!

Thank god for small mercies! The left party is out of the government – When were they in the government to be out of it? All they have been doing for the past 4 years is to raise objections to any scheme that would have beneficial to the country at large. One of the fellow blogger has raised a pertinent question as to why the Left hadn’t joined the government and taken portfolios like social welfare etc and show what they can do instead of doing a Ramdoss in Tamil Nadu.

For the uninitiated the nucleus of the Indo-Nuclear deal is as follows. The right minded people (read pro nuclear deal) see it as an avenue for increased supply of nuclear fuel without us having to sign the Nuclear Non Proliferation Treaty. We will be able to purchase nuclear equipment from the likes of Russia and of course the alpha dog YOU YES YEAH. We can safely envisage a situation where the entire country would become like Gujarat which proudly proclaims 98% of the state to have electricity. It will also hugely help us achieve the rather unrealistic growth targets we have for the next five years. These things are of course possible even without the nuclear deal but it will take a sweet twenty years and India cannot afford to wait thus long at this crucial juncture.

The anti-deal junta basically claims that it will affect India’s ability to pursue and develop nuclear technologies to the nation’s benefit and will make us dependent on the US for nuclear fuel- a stand which has clearly been challenged by some of the most intelligent minds in India including Abdul Kalam. (I can’t believe Ms Prathibha Patel is now occupying the same chair as Mr Kalam but I will save that rant for another day). I am no expert in this whole nuclear deal saga but am more than happy to follow the same as stand as the likes of Manmohan Singh/Abdul Kalam rather than a bunch of no-hopers who are not mature enough to take responsibility for their own actions and would rather criticize everything.

I would have loved to see what stand the left would have taken if the counter party to the nuclear deal was China instead of USA. I am sure Mr Karat would climb down from his moral high horse and would have started brown nosing the Chinese who in my opinion are as reliable a neighbor as the left are a coalition partner .The fact that congress has been losing all the state elections of late had given the left the edge in this whole “we will pull the plug drama” as the congress weren’t confident of winning any elections at this point in time. I am also terribly ashamed of BJPs role in this whole saga and the fact they have used this issue to try and bring the government down clearly indicates the abysmal levels to which modern day politicians have stooped to. I am sure Gandhi and Nehru are turning in their graves after seeing this latest Indian tamasha!!

No Longer do I have to wake up and read any statements issued by Mr Karat and Co and take any of this seriously. I was also reading some articles about the alleged bribery and horse trading that was involved in the trust vote- Here is my take on it- If such acts would result in left staying out of the government I am more than happy to contribute my share of bribery, please do let me know where to address my cheque! Please stay away from the government and you guys can keep continuing the wonderful service to Kerala and West Bengal- after all I couldn’t give a flying f*ck to any state that is rule by you guys.

Cheers
S

Capital Punishments

I was recently reading the news item about Ms. Priyanka Gandhi going to the vellore prison and meeting the savage assassins of her father and national leader Rajiv Gandhi. Nalini has since sought the assistance of the Gandhi family to get her death sentence revoked and reduced to a life sentence. Despite all the xenophobic hatred from my fellow country men towards Sonia, I have always found her to be quite intelligent (when compared to the average Indian politician). I understand that the Gandhi family have never wanted death penalty for the assassins and have been doing their bit in this regard. But for fuc*s sake Rajiv Gandhi is not the only person who was killed in the episode. I fully understand it is preposterous to even indulge in a debate as to who has had a bigger loss in such a tragedy but surely there should be some perspective. (I have always found it funny that every time an important personality is killed it’s called a assassination- How important should a person before such an act becomes a assassination rather than a murder?)

This takes us to the bigger question, should capital punishments be abolished? I am quite sure that there are sufficient organizations who champion this cause and I thought I might add my 2 cents to this argument (and more importantly get the views of people). A rouge elephant running amok and causing havoc has to be killed without trial. As adorable as the elephant (normally) might be we have to kill it in an instant for it is a danger/threat to the society at large. It is a difficult pill to chew but it has to be done if you are to cure the illness.

Death is probably the only thing that instills a fear of god amongst the die hard criminals who do not think twice before raping a 12 year old or cause havoc in a market place by placing a bomb and taking the life of innocent civilians. No amount of justification justifies the killing of million innocent civilians in the name of religion or any thing for that matter. Tolerance is an over rated trait and it has only emboldened these vermin’s to commit more such sins or take others for granted. Capital punishment will by no means stop the ever increasing crime rate but it will act as a deterrent. The kith and kin of these barbaric bastar*s might try to drive some sense into them and it might stop the odd crime. I have always very strongly believed that there is always one person for each of us in this world whose word we will take however head strong and adamant each one of us are. It is the hope that moves us all forward and what is life without the eternal hope that someday everything will fall in place and there will no be no misery in god’s beautiful world.

“Reform the criminal: be kind to him. But the criminal who can be reformed is not the problem. If you can reform him (or her) reform him; that is all. Do not make him a martyr. The real problem is the criminal you cannot reform: the human mad dog or cobra. The answer is, kill him kindly and apologetically, if possible without consciousness on his part. Let him go comfortably to bed expecting to wake up in the morning as usual, and not wake up. His general consciousness that this may happen to him should be shared by every citizen as part of his moral civic responsibility.”

-G B Shaw

I couldn’t agree with Shaw more. Kill the criminal but kill him using a lethal injection or slow poison, please do not hang the man till his eye balls pop out or his tongue falls on the ground and for the love of god please do not show it on national television. Further, please use the petition judiciously and not use it to reprieve the likes of terrorists who attack the parliament or father’s who have their daughter’s in captive for 24 years and rape them every night. I have always had a lot of time for Mr Kamal Hassan, the man makes intelligent movies but I hated the movie Virumandi (I loved the screenplay by the way) for the uninitiated the movie justifies abolishment of capital punishments using the example of a man who commits 27 murders but blames the society for the same. Sir, what do you want us to do when we capture Bin laden?? Imprison him for 13 years or fine him a million dollars- surely not!

We will weed out atleast a hundred human nuisances (literally and other wise) if capital punishments are not abolished and it will instill a fear which seems even more necessary given that there are a lot of predators with whom we share god’s green earth

Cheers
S

Reservations

I was absolutely appalled this morning when I saw a news item this morning about the Supreme Court upholding the OBC Quota. To borrow the words of Glenn Beck, I am no expert when it comes to determining if it violates the basic structure of Constitution but I am a thinker. Reservations being successful in uplifting the OBCs chances of obtaining better education has the same probability of a double date between Karunanidhi/ Jayalalitha and Sonia Gandhi and Advani in the lovely locales of Bermuda. Who are we kidding here?

I have to make it very clear that I am not against OBCs (or anyone for that matter) having the right and opportunity for education. (I have a lot of friends who come from different backgrounds including BCs/SCs/STs.-Its funny isn’t it anybody who clarifies any comment about Caste and race always play this card). The logical solution for their upliftment is to provide financial aid ensure that most kids take up education. The new legislation should be implemented in such a way that it will be applicable only to primary education or worse case secondary education. We are only diluting the quality of professionals by having quota systems in esteemed institutions like the IIT and IIMs. Anything other than merit determining this is an absolute sacrilege.

Another important issue is that, the whole premise for Mandal Commission’s recommendation seems flawed. They are estimating the % of OBCs of the Indian population to be around 50% while popular govt statistics places this figure somewhere around the 30%. If they are uncertain about this elementary detail how can they be right about determining what is the right percentage?

Why should somebody be penalized for being born in a particular caste? I have never been a huge fan of the argument that somebody was suppressed for a certain number of years and hence they should be unfairly rewarded. By the same argument the Jews should be killing the Germans for the next 10 years and almost every country should invade England and plunder their livelihood. Somebody made a mistake in the past and it should be rectified by making sure that “ALL ARE TREATED EQUALLY” from now on. Are reservations being made with the intention of helping the OBC’s are out of spite for the other caste?

The fact that all political party including the BJP (who are supposed to be championing for the needs of the so called “Forward Caste”) are keeping quite about this whole thing further establishes this as an election stunt. They would not want their stand on this issue affect the outcomes in the upcoming election. I am pretty sure that the lovely politicians will use every possible resource to misuse this whole system. I am really certain that this will reward more undeserving candidates than it does rewarding the deserving OBCs. It’s such a shame that Meritocracy has become a myth in India!

Whilst we are on this subject, I have a quick suggestion-Why don’t we talk to the likes of Sharad Pawar and ensure that 27% of the Indian cricket team be made up of people from BCs/SCs. Also let that bloke KPS Gill who claims to be running the show for Indian hockey know about this proposal. I am sure given his wonderful contribution to the sport he would lap this idea. It would be hugely inappropriate if I don’t make a mention about the 2 good souls in Arjun Singh and VP Singh for their contribution to this wonderful new legislature.

Here’s hoping somebody in the system sees the flaw takes some corrective action.

Cheers
S

P S : Charlie Langeveldt pulled out of the South African touring party to India because he knew that he has been picked because of his colour and not because of his credentials. You sir are an absolute legend and I bow to you!

Statistics in the above piece have been taken from CNN IBN.