Oh to be a Mylaporean!

I take a huge amount of pride in identifying myself as a Mylapore Tam Bram. It is unbelievably hard to explain why mylapore is such a wonderful. It is neither as sophisticated as Adyar nor as dirty as T Nagar. It has this unique aura about it and you need to live there to actually appreciate it. Technically, I was born and brought up in Mandavelli which is different from Myalpore but still I have this huge affinity to this place. I don’t care what the corporation of Chennai says to me they are the same. Also to me any place starting from Marina Beach to Nandanam signal and Music College to Alwarpet Anjaneyar Koil is Mylapore.

When I was a kid I never appreciated the northern hemisphere/southern hemisphere. The continents were all too complex for me- The world in my innocent head was very very simple- Mylapore and the rest of the world. Anything that wasn’t Mylaporean was alien to me. Unsurprisingly most of my close friends (from school-for I cant claim to have made too many close friends outside school) lived in mylapore- it was more like a requirement- if you had to be my friend you had to be from mylapore. I have heard people say- “I hate Mylapore”- I can’t get my head around it. What the f*ck is not there to be liked? We have the Marina Beach (has to be single most beautiful place on earth), KaBali Koil (I know it’s supposed to be Kapaleeswarar temple- but is sounds so much cooler this way), PS School and of course Pattamal street. We can also boast about having the likes of Crazy Mohan’s/S Ve Shekars/ Cho Ramaswamies living amongst us. (Not to mention Thiruvalluvar!!!- Though I haven’t met him)

Let’s take the case of T Nagar- The place is an absolute sh*t hole. They are just confused- they are not sure if they want to be a cheap shopping market or a proper residential area like Mylapore. The result is crazy traffic which would put Bengaluru to shame. It lacks to the kind of history that Mylapore has. Don’t even get me started on places like Anna Nagar/Nungambakkam. How do people spend their childhood without playing cricket in the gallies. It’s as if they built the roads in these areas for buses and cars to ply- Heck no, it’s for kids to play cricket and break window panes.

The lovely people of Mylapore have their own set of rules to live by. They might sound a little hyprocrictal but there is something endearing about them. Some of the hilariously funny ones are:

a) Thou shalt appoint a know-it-all mama-Every street in Mylapore has to have this know-it-all mama. He should have retired some 10 years ago from a bank (Preferably Indian Bank!). Every problem in the street has to be run past him before we can get to a solution. Whether it is the non-functioning street light or the umpiring decision in the cricket match or the credit crunch in America- His decision is final. There is no appeal to this gentleman’s verdict. He is always right!

b) Thou shalt be a Mylapore Brahmin- We don’t care if you are Iyer or Iyengar- the rules are very simple- You can drink like a fish but should not smoke or eat any non-vegetarian dishes which is not chicken. Hey don’t blame us we don’t make the rules- its just the mylaporean way

c) Thou shalt send your kids only to PS/ Vidya Mandir- In the sixties and seventies this honor went to PS/Raja Muthiah and should you decide to send your girl child to school it had to be Rani Meyammai. Now its strictly PS/Vidya Mandir and St johns if your kid has this mean streak about him

d) Thou shalt not ditch Ambiga Appalam- Anytime one of your relative decides to leave the shores of Mylapore and go to the rest of the world as indicated above you have to get Podis/appalams only in Ambiga Applam. The purists are very offended that this tradition is no longer being followed and people are shamelessly running to Grand Sweets in Adyar-Adyar of all places!!!!

I wouldn’t trade my memories of growing up in the lanes of Mylapore for the world. I am going home in about 2 weeks and I can’t wait to go around the streets of mylapore on my bike with gay abandon.

Cheers
S