Thursday, December 10, 2009

2009-The Year in review

As clichéd as it may sound- the year has flown by so quickly-I still vividly remember standing on the shores of south shore on the eve of new years talking about things I wanted to do in the new year and suggesting new year resolutions to S and the rest of the lot- This after the bat-shit mental dance routine we did with the boys- well choreographed but horribly executed by the crew- hey no complaints we had a cracking time. It just seems like an ordinary year from outside- with the usual joys in life –Liverpool fans claiming this is going to be their year/Indian cricket moving from being the most overrated to simply sublime in a matter of few months/Sunil Gavaskar spouting xenophobic drivel/ India judicial system taking ages to punish criminals for a crime against the state but I reckon the year had more action and drama than usual. This is a year when the world got obsessed with Facebook and twitters- People found an obsessive compulsion to let their friends and fans know about everything from the color of their undergarments to the frequency of their bowel movements- I thought I was self obsessed because I blog- Funny times eh?

The year got off to a truly memorable start even for a brown Asian guy with the Barrack Obama being elected the 44th President –the first African-American President of the United States. I don’t care too much for American politics but it is such a refreshing change to see the American president be able to successfully string a couple of sentences without looking like a – well “Bush”. The man has got a personality and a presence about him that you can even feel on the television- I don’t care what he is speaking every time he is on the television I pause for a few minutes to hear him speak. and speak he did a lot during the year. This is certainly not some blinded following because the world media made me believe so- I think I have a small man crush on him for the way he carries himself- Its got nothing to do with his health care policies/stance on war on terror. People were watching him with their jaws wide open as if they have never met or see a black man all their life. On the other side of the world journalists /common man were busy throwing shoes at politicians.

A R Rahman tried to steal the headlines in February with an Oscar award for his less than impressive compositions for a British movie with an Indian plot. Of course most Indians were offended that either their beloved Kamal Hassan has not won the Oscar as yet or SDM was not an Indian movie so ARR and us Indians should not be proud of his achievements. But the headlines for this month clearly belonged Mr Muthalik and his men who in an act of attention seeking behavior and because they are the moral guardians of all that is good and well in the society decided to attack women in pubs.They felt these women were bringing a shame to the famed traditions and customs of the “Indian Bahu”. Taking a leaf out of Mahatma’s books in an attempt to retaliate through non-violent means and borrowing an idea from the wonderful souls who thought it was an intelligent idea to send the pope condoms, the wonderful ladies – or the Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women as they would like to be called thought it was a fantastic idea to send the man Pink Chaddis. The latest we hear is the pope has changed his ideas about birth control and HIV and Muthalik is so ashamed of himself that he is encouraging women all over the world to drink and is contemplating changing the symbol of his organization. Well done Gals. In other news -On the other side of the world journalists /common man were busy throwing shoes at politicians.

While the rest of the world was busy battling recession/depression the head honchos in the world of politics and business were busy buying jetliners/luxury suites and spending zillions on building statues for their kith and kin. A lot of them were apologetic but did not find the need to return the money to the tax payers who were made to pay for their livelihood and luxuries.

After 30 years of enthralling the world audience with some magical music/dance performances and enriching the lives of several drug dealers and quack doctors MJ breathed his last in June. A fantastic artist but a shame he will be remembered for his operations/drug use as much as he will be remembered for his music. Fans world over were heartbroken and took down quite a few internet sites while there were strong rumors of a lot of children breathing a sigh of relief- we are unable to confirm this. Common man and World journalists were busy throwing footwear at politicians while MS Gill and Suresh Kalmadi had a petition doing the rounds to make this India’s national sport to break cricket’s hegemony over hockey and Football. Lalit Modi was unperturbed as he was busy rubbing his hands and petting his cat and laughing like a maniac.

Delhi High court passed a landmark verdict in de-criminalizing consensual homosexual acts- This prompted men and women who were not even gay to come out of the closet- They just thought it was a hip thing to do and not to mention to earn a few hug from their hot female/male friends they couldn’t even get near if they were honest about their sexual orientation. In other news, SRK was completely outraged that someone had the temerity to frisk him – the Badshah of Bollywood at an international airport- A few days earlier Dr Abdul Kalam was frisked at an airport and the great man didn’t make a big deal out of it. Some men do have more class than others.

In October the Norwegian Nobel Committee announced that the 2009 Nobel peace prize award would go to a certain Barrack Obama. Conventional wisdom suggested that it was awarded for his public speaking skills before the committee came out and clarified that it was “for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”. Widespread sniggers from the public at large were drowned in the deafening applause from the employees of dictionary publishing companies and the patrons of burger shop round the corner. Obama accepted this award in Oslo, Norway on December 10, 2009 with "deep gratitude and deep humility."

Oprah decided that she wanted to create the record for serving the longest notice period in living memory. She has decided to retire in 2011. It will be an absolute shame that we will no longer be able to see grown up men and women in the audience act like delirious maniacs-crying and laughing on national television just because Oprah decided to gift them a free pass for her next show. George Lopez in his late night show made one of the most astute observations – Oprah has spent the past 26 years interviewing some of the greatest minds in the world. Then one day she decides to interview Ms Palin and immediately considers retirement- Well done Ms Palin.

It also seems like a very bad year for the Gillette group of Companies – 2 of their 4 icons have been caught in transgressions that they regret- Thierry Henry did a Diego Maradona on the poor Irish to send the Les Blues to the world cup at South Africa while Tiger Woods was (allegedly) busy texting and emailing every good looking chic in Las Vegas about how needy and vulnerable he is. World media is closely following Rahul Dravid and Roger Federer to see if they are going to kill their pet hamsters in the coming weeks. Most golf lovers are outraged that St. Tiger woods has done such an act and are worried about the sort of role model that he will be to their kids. The world would be a better place if people stop expecting sportsman and actors to be role models to their kids- I want my kid to look up to me for a role model and not Cristiano Ronaldo just because he is brilliant footballer. But what do I know? -On the other side of the world journalists /common man were busy throwing shoes at politicians.

Finally to me, last year I was hoping that I will realize in 2009 that it’s not important to be RIGHT all the time- God sure has a wicked sense of humor- He made me meet my special someone and suffice it to say that I haven’t been right even once for the past six months. Like they say god has mysterious ways of workingJ-

Cheers
S

PS I know this is a satirical post but no post about 2009 is complete if I don’t make a mention about one of the most fascinating incidents that happened in the year- Hudson River Plane crash rescue act- Bravo guys!

Heartfelt condolences to three special people who attained heavenly abode during the year – Nagesh/D K Pattamal and R Venkatraman

Here is hoping the fans/followers of Barrack/Bush/Sunil Gavaskar/Muthalik/SRK/MJ and like won’t take offence to this post

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

….and Chandler has finally met his Monica

The gods were conspiring- keeping a couple of my very close male friends single for a long time; the Delhi High court was conspiring with its landmark judgment recently. For long it just seemed destined to happen- as Jerry and George contend and I agree -not that there is anything wrong with that. I was even contemplating my own “Sharath ka swayamvar” on national television but none of the producers seem too interested- What???? you cant blame me I am sure I am more likeable and interesting than Ms Sawant.

Then came along S – a cost accountant and a MBA and more importantly sweet, intelligent and very understanding. I promise I wont bore you with details of how magnificent S is and how rosy my life has been for the past few months (but hell yeah she is fantastic). S was born and brought up in Mumbai- (Ooi- You lot at the back I can hear all the sniggering about how much I used to hate Mumbai- When did I even say a that????- Mumbai is brilliant and have always wanted to live thereJ-) and works as a relationship manager in a leading bank in Mumbai. We got officially engaged today and wedding will be on March 22nd.

As boring as it might sound I am a person who likes a routine- I am looking forward to waking up next to the same person for the rest of my life. S brings a sense of method to all my madness – and by god there is a lot of madness that she has to deal with. I am slowly trying to adjust to the responsibility that comes along with being in a relationship and learning a lot of things the hard way (I know we haven’t even started living together and there is already so much work to do- I can only imagine what it would be like when we do get married). But I wouldn’t have it any other way and wouldn’t want to have this with any one other than S

Can’t wait for March

Cheers
S

PS: For those of you who have come up with the whole-“ S has lost a bet with her friends and as punishment they are making her marry me”- Haha very clever very funny- I am not that bad- Hope S agreesJ-

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Big Fat Indian Wedding

There are a few weddings round the corner in the family- P has found her prince charming and has been all smiles for the past few weeks much to the joy /relief of one and all in the family. My cousin A is about to get married sometime next year and some very close friends R and P are also about to take the plunge. As a natural consequence the number of conversations involving weddings have increased manifold. Most people are completely looking forward to the big idea whilst some are not so worried about the wedding and are more worried about the marriage. One such conversation with T leads to this remark from her “it’s such a sheer waste of money and is an annoyingly silly joke with the bride and the groom as puppets who have no clue why they are doing what they are doing! Silly ;) and the ever so subtle VAK man had this to say recently.

As my friends love to remind me – I can start an argument in an empty room – This subject has been evoking some strong and passionate responses- Do weddings have to be a fancy fanfare? I just thought I might add my side of the arguments (Why the heck do people refer to their opinions as $ 0.02- Is it because they know it’s pretty darn useless?). Let me start off by saying I love Indian Weddings- They are an occasion to celebrate and rejoice – not only for the bride and groom but for the entire family. There is hope for a long and a fantastic association not only for the heroes and heroines of the ceremony but for the both the families. Families have always been of paramount importance in Indian customs- How else do you explain the concept of arranged marriages?

Its is so easy for the westerner or the confused nouveau-rich middle class Indian to mock and scoff at the proceedings of an Indian wedding for being a pointless and worthless exercise- but we need to bear in mind that unlike the westerners our lives tend to focus on family rather than the individual. I remember Aishwarya Rai had a brilliant retort to David Letterman –

D (Trying to be smart) - I heard Indians live with their parents even after they are 18
Ash: yeah- At least we don’t have to make appointments with our parents to have dinner together

It has always been about the family – Every success is cherished with the family, every failure is endured together- comfort in numbers. It is a real shame that most of us are ashamed of our customs and traditions- For the last time- Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t make it wrong.

I am not saying that every Indian wedding should be done at the cost of making someone bankrupt- It is after all not a status symbol –Just because Karan Johar decides to get Kajol and Shahrukh married with 7,327 elephants,8,236 band masters and food enough to feed the entire African continent doesn’t mean you have to do the same. We have been accused of showmanship- but what the heck do you expect – It is a celebration and it is bound to go slightly over the top- That is not only an Indian trait- westerners are equally culpable.

I am all for fanciful and fat weddings as long as you can afford it- A son or daughter getting married is a once in a life time thing and people would love to celebrate what is essentially the core values and traditions that define the Indian society with family and friends by bringing them all together under one roof- It’s a time to party and party we will- completely oblivious to what the world thinks of us-

So bring on the 3 day events- 5 course meals-fun and dance- because WE ARE LIKE THIS ONLY and there is not a thing any of you can do about it.

Cheers
S

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Viva Ronaldo - Obrigado pelas recordações


After 6 years of enthralling us, the fans of my beloved Manchester United and annoying the fans of Scum, Rent Boys and Le Arse with moments of sublime skill and sheer audacity Ronnie has decided to seek newer challenges in greener (and sunnier) pastures of Spain. United have accepted a bid of $ 130 Million from the Satan’s in Spain- a world record deal which will be signed sealed and delivered when Ron agrees personal terms in the coming days. Born on 5th February 1985 in Funcal on the Portuguese island of Madeira to an alcoholic father (who he dearly loved) and a mother who shared the same burning ambition as her son that he would one day play in the white of Real Madrid, he decided to further his footballing education under the tutelage of arguably the greatest manager of all time Sir Alex Ferguson and joined United in the summer of 2003.

Legend has it that- United were playing a pre-season friendly against Sporting Lisbon (Ronnie’s former club) and a spotty young kid was running circles around the likes of Gary Neville/Wes Brown and John O Shea and they came in at half time and pleaded with the manager to sign this bloke as they never ever wanted to play against him. Sir Alex was equally impressed and had instructed the devil incarnate Peter Kenyon (our ex-CEO) to not come back to Manchester without signing this kid. Ronnie joined us in 2003 and was asked to carry on the tradition by wearing the famous number 7 jersey previously worn by legends like George Best, Bryan Robson and David “Golden Balls” Beckham- Not an easy task for a kid from the Iberian Peninsula who is to play in alien conditions. He was seen as initially as a one-trick show pony that was more interested in the tricks and flicks rather the end product. He moved from strength to strength and was rightly won the prestigious Ballon d'Or seeing off competition from the little magician Messi. Later in the season he was crowned FIFA world player of the year.

Ronnie has achieved everything there is to achieve with Manchester United – a hat-trick of premier Leagues, 1 FA Cup, 2 League Cups, 1 Club World Club and the big one- UEFA Champions league. In this time he had also won the golden boot and the player of the season awards. No right minded fan would begrudge him as he pursues his childhood dream after everything he has done for us in the past 5 seasons. To top it all he is making us richer by $ 130 Million (which is higher than the GDP of the island nation of Kiribati) which is over and above all the replica shirts he has helped us sell in the past 5 years.

The audacious back heel against Aston Villa, the forty yard screamer against Porto and amazing counter attack maneuvers with England’s boy wonder will remain long in our memory. No amount money can help us replace a champion like you and it will be a shame that we will no longer hear the fans of scum try to belittle your achievements while craving to find a player like you to wear their jersey. Good luck son and thanks for the memories. You will be missed and will always be one of us.

THERE IS ONLY ONE RONALDO and it is not the one from brazil- That is the highest compliment any one can ever pay you as we all know how bloody good the magician from Brazil was. With stunning looks and a chiseled body, amazing skill and huge amounts of money- Most women want to be with you, most men want to be you and then there are some men who want to be with you.

Cheers
S

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

MyPL Dream Team

Last year around the same time my friend B (who btw celebrates his birthday today Happy Birthday mate) picked his IPL team of the year. To be honest he beat me to the idea but his team pretty much reflected my take on the team of the year. A year and Lalit Modi a few millions richer later I thought I will try a team of the year of my own. Plus I realized anything you write about the IPL will get you more hits on the internet than Ms Susan Boyle. So here goes my eleven:

Matt the Bat (Chennai Super Kings)

He has not played cricket for a year yet he comes out and bats as if he is playing with his kids in the back yard. Ultra consistent and showed amazing intelligence when he played the anchor role and carried his bat through against Mumbai Indians showing the world T20 is not all about wham bham thank you maam.

Gilly (Deccan Chargers)

I can’t get my head around as to why he chose to retire from International cricket. He is still one of the cleanest hitters of a cricket ball and the closest thing to Viv Richards. Led his side very intelligently so much so that most people didn’t even realize VVS was dropped as the skipper. He would be leading my side, it was a close call between him and Kumble but I have always believed wicket keepers make better skippers as they are constantly involved in the game and have a better understanding of the field placements.

Suresh Raina (Chennai Super Kings)

Mr. Gavaskar reckons Greg Chappell was the worst thing to happen to Indian cricket completely ignoring the irony that our man was instrumental in hiring Greg. I think the whole world has seen what Greg saw in Raina. He is a very intelligent batsman, more than capable to hold his own with the cork, electric in the field and every captains dream team mate. One of the very few Indian batsmen who adapted quite well to bouncy tracks in South Africa (along with Rohit Sharma)

Dilshan (Delhi Dare Devils)

I was very impressed with his capability to read the length early, a very Srilankan trait. Some of his strokes brought back memories of Aravinda Desilva in his hey days and I cannot pay him a better compliment than that.

ABD (Delhi Dare Devils)

Nobody turned on the screws in the last six over’s better than ABD. Made a stunning hundred against the CSK and formed an amazing partnership with Dilshan. Paul Collingwood is one of the best batsman in the shorter form of the game, but ABD’s form ensured that he did as much work as clerk in a government office in India.

Rohit Sharma (Deccan Chargers)

See above Suresh Raina part II

Ojha (Deccan Chargers)

Any left arm spinner who can keep Daniel Vettori out of the side has to be special (well from myPl XI atleast). Another fantastic season has earned him a place in the T20 world cup squad and we can only hope that he doesn’t follow Murali Kartik and drift away after showing great early promise. Left arm spinners like leg spinners have this charm and are wonderful to watch when on song.

Anil Kumble (Royal Challengers Banglore)

It may seem like another “Ryan Giggs for player of the year award saga” but Anil has been fantastic. Taking over the shambles from KP and instilling self belief in a rather poor Bangalore side is nothing short of fantastic. A special mention for having the courage to take on the challenge of bowling to Gilly - another example of him leading from the front. I haven’t had the privilege of watching Chandra/Bedi or Venkat but to me he is India’s greatest spinner by a country mile. He may not have the guile of Murali or the variety of Shane but he makes up for all of it with Heart.

Munaf Patel (Rajasthan Royal)

A real shame that he missed out in T20 world cup squad but the only consolation is that he is replaced by RP who has been an absolute revelation. If any one has any doubts of Shane Warne’s mentoring skills we need to look no further than Munaf. He bowled a fantastic last over against Mumbai Indians and was good enough to pick 16 wickets at average of just over 15 and an economy rate of tad under seven

RP Singh (Deccan Chargers)

A fantastic come back by a bowler who showed so much early promise, hopefully he can stay away from injuries and keep Zaheer Khan on his toes. There is so much to look fwd to if you are an Indian supporter over the next 5 years. A bowling squad of Zaheer/Munaf/Ishant/RP has to be every coach’s dream

Ashish Nehra (Delhi Daredevils)

Clearly the surprise package of IPL2. I didn’t realize he had picked up so many wickets. I also owe him an apology as I of the opinion he was hindering the progress of another young fast bowler. Another thing that he can be very proud of is he was indirectly responsible for keeping the legend that Glenn Mcgrath is out of the side. His wicket taking ability allowed Sehwag to pick Nannes ahead of GM as a gamble and one that actually paid of


Special mention to Fidel Edwards/Andrew Symonds/JP Duminy/Lasith Malinga/ Muralitharan/Jakati who were quite impressive

Let me know if you agree or disagree with my side.

Cheers
S

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Dear Rush Limbaugh




Dear Rush Limbaugh,

Hope this letter finds you in good health and wonderful spirits. I see you have been frothing in your mouth talking about the complete blasphemy that “slum dog” Indian worker’s have the temerity to work hard and be better than at you at something. I thought it might be appropriate time for me to apologize on behalf of the billion and counting Indians. Further, I thought this would be an appropriate moment to gently remind you about some facts:

a) We have come and taken over your jobs because we are better than you in this game. Companies, no longer have a national Identity- so if they can find someone who can get the job done MORE efficiently and effectively than you poor Americans, they will do it- So please deal with it!

b) I may be wrong- But I do get a feeling that you are annoyed as you see this as a case of someone coming into your house and not allowing you to live a peaceful and happy life- I have just one word for you- IRAQ- Not a fan of irony are we? God does work in mysterious ways to make things a level playing field

c) If you get a chance to remove your head out of you’re a*s you will basically realize that America and Americans do not have a god given right to have everything your way. Your lovely founding fathers championed the cause of the American dream – To quote Wikipedia - The American Dream often refers to the opportunity for immigrants to achieve greater material prosperity than was possible in their countries of origin. America has been viewed as a land in which one's prospects in life are defined by one's talents and energy rather than by one's family wealth or political connections. This hope includes the opportunity for one's children to grow up and receive an education and its consequent career opportunities. It is the opportunity to make individual choices without the restrictions of class, caste, religion, race, or ethnic group
We are not even in your country –So what in devil’s name are you complaining about?

d) Indian Culture has a strong emphasis on education and we have basically earned the right to take over from what was once considered an American preserve—Not through any underhand means but sheer hard work—We are just better than you lot in writing codes and performing brain surgeries. No wonder more Americans are coming to India to have surgeries performed on them at a cheaper cost with more effectiveness. But I am sure you’d rather die in your wonderful country because you cant afford health care than have a surgery performed by an Indian doctor

Wiser men like Bill Gates have acknowledged this whilst you choose to remain a bitter old man with a lot of xenophobic bile. In summary, I am very sorry that people have negative perceptions about Americans - which has always prided itself in rewarding meritocracy because of nutjobs like you. Like you lot say God bless America

Till we meet again, so long my friend

Cheers
S
A humble Indian

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Travel Diary- London and Manchester

I am not really a resolutions person- but I did make up my mind about a few things I wanted to do and it did happen around the turn of the year- so if that makes it a resolution then I have done quite well on my new-year resolutions thus far. An employee of an airline company made a rather rookie mistake and offered discount fares to London from Bermuda (fares that you would kill- annoying co-workers for). This offer was supposed to be available only for employees but his mistake made it available to world at large- This coupled with the fact that my beloved Manchester United were going to play Jose’e men at the Theatre of Dreams meant it was a perfect opportunity to visit the queen’s land and annoyingly call everyone “Love”- I don’t know what it is with English women- they insist on calling everyone “love”- Like my hair dresser – every time I go to her our conversation goes something like this:

HD: What can I do for you my love?
Me: Err…I can think of a hundred things but you are fat ugly and old…so a hair cut would do just fine

Anyways- I did get super cheap tickets to London, spent a fortune on the game tickets and got a wonderful excuse to catch up with T/B and M and also to do touristy things like pose in front of her majesty’s palace. The preceding three weeks were just outright brutal- from the stress of not knowing if I will cling on to my job- see my heart broken friends leave the island for no mistake of theirs- see friends lose their loved ones (and not even being around to give an arm around their shoulder) A vacation seemed a perfect escape route- I was feeling quite horrible about myself on the flight actually- but it was the only way I could get away from all this


Wednesday March 11th 2009

I reached London around half six in the morning and dropped my bag at T’s and hopped on a train to Manchester that morning- Reached Manchester around half four and picked up my ticket from the agent and started walking to the ground-There was a festive atmosphere all round the city- Almost every guy seemed to be going to the game with scarf’s around their neck/beanie on their head/paint on their face and the united anthem on their lips- I was walking with that stupid grin on my face- like the one kids have when they ride their bike for the first time. I started singing along with the rest of the fans- My voice stood out in the crowd- I got stares from people – I don’t blame them – it was like our deva singing an English song- Deep hoarse voice – voice that is just not suited to singing. I went into the stadium and the whole thing just takes your breath away- I am not exaggerating like I always do- there are some places that really do- Like the first time I came to Bermuda- I was awe struck for a good 2 weeks- I am not going to go into the details of the game- Cracking game – Sung my heart out for 2.5 hrs-loved the experience and got hugged by a weird Malaysian dude when we scored- still not able to sleep

Thursday- March 12th 2009

Came back to London that morning- T was supposed to take the day off and we had planned to go around the place and argue about the zillion things that we disagree on. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen but K was kind enough to take me around London- We did all the touristy things like –See Buckingham palace-London Eye-Trafalgar Square –West Minister’s Abbey and clicked a zillion pictures. I did go to a rather fascinating place –Sherlock Holmes museum which is indeed located in Baker street- Totally loved it despite not knowing too much about Mr. Holmes/Watson or Sir Arthur Doyle.

Friday- March 13th 2009

The plan was to meet M in London and the both of us would go around the place- But he felt he’d rather cut his hand with a knife and spend the day in hospital with a fractured finger and some damaged ligaments than hang around with me and that is what he did- M had a kitchen accident and spent the day in hospital waiting for old nurses to call him love. I was on my own again- I decide to make this day a sporting pilgrimage- What better places to visit than the “Mecca of cricket” and the Wimbledon? I have always had a strong interest in and affinity towards Wimbledon- grew up watching Ms Graf win games like she owned the fuck*ing place. I met up with this rather beautiful Japanese woman who was rather inquisitive about a rotund Indian guy and a weird accent. She was a complete joy to be around with-Shame that she never got my name and I don’t remember her’s. T and I met up in the evening and argued long into the night like we always do- Glad to know nothing has changed after all these years. I have to make a quick word about the tube facility in London- It is absolutely fantastic-Amazing how well the city has been connected-

Saturday-March 14th-2009

Caught up with B after ages- We had English break fast at a pub and watched the first half of the United –Pool game before sanely deciding to go around the city and catch up on old stories and the latest updates. I did annoy B with my slap stick humor as always- and I guess he enjoyed it slightly better this time as the frequency had come down drastically. I had a cracking time with B
Met up with T in the afternoon and we were planning to do a “Jack the ripper walk”- but like the flavor of the tour made alternate plans as we found out that the tour guide was an self obsessed as*hole who’d rather talk about himself than Mr. Jack. We turned in early that night as T had an early morning flight to catch

Sunday- March 15th 2009

Came back to Bermuda after thoroughly enjoying the last 4 days- My idea of a vacation is completely different to most people- I try and appreciate the different cultures/ and traditions but that is not the point of vacations- I like to go and see new places/catch up with old friends and do things that I wouldn’t have done normally and try and spice up things a little bit. There are so many places that I want to visit before I kick the bucket- so it is more like crossing a list and enjoying things in my own way- So I apologize if my travel diaries aren’t too interesting-It is just my personal journal to come back and read it in say 10 years time

Cheers
S

PS: I saw a lesbian couple making out in the tube- It completely changed my take on public display of affection- God bless the ladiesJ-

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

And I live to fight another day...



Around 40 people including some of my close friends. Close shave…Thank lord for small mercies

Cheers
S

Monday, February 23, 2009

Sleepless in Hamilton

It’s been 10 years since I finished school- Last week I was writing to a friend of mine and I mentioned

“I also realize that I have gone through a hell a lot over the past 10 years and am quite happy at where I am in life. Very few regrets”

Its true- I am very glad as to how the last decade had turned out – Quite a few personal highs (I am no world beater but am happy with some of the things that I have done) and some lows- but nothing has been soul-shattering. Just as I finished reminiscing, a mate of mine pinged me to find out if I was ready to attend what is now widely referred as “The Meeting”. We were supposed to have a business update that morning- A meeting which big boss addresses once a quarter and we were expecting it to be along the lines of the previous 2 meetings where he tells us – There is a lot of madness in the market and the financial power houses are struggling to keep up but still we are doing reasonably well- However, we do not know what’s in store and do not want you to believe any of the rumors that are doing the rounds”. Most of the sane ones think this exercise is a waste of time as he is not telling us anything new and is only sowing the seeds for more rumors as people start reading in between lines.

Rather reluctantly we went for the meeting- boss had a rather serious look on his face and the news wasn’t too good- We had decided to let go people and this could be as early as next week. So after weeks where most of the company was in denial- (like an ostrich with its head firmly under the ground and believing the world is dark) we were brought down to reality. We didn’t know how many people were going and more importantly who were the unlucky ones. The process was going to be a long and painful one- At least it will seem long as we had a weekend in between and a lot of negative energy in the system. Ideally, I would have it as quick as ripping a band-aid and be done with it- But I would also like to be a millionaire and marry Ms Jolie but I don’t think god concurs.

I was also thinking that it would be a huge dent on my rather fragile ego if I was on the list- because in my not so humble opinion I think I deserve to stay- but that’s not how it works- it will have to be a combination of whose accounts are doing well/performance of the individual/the whole Bermudian vs non-Bermudian thing (rightfully so – I have come here to make a living and the locals should get preferential treatment in a crisis situation- It’s not like I am inventing a cure for cancer- I am just an accountant and there are enough people on the face of earth who can do my job). I have had enough sleepless nights since last week and believe you me I have even seen big boss lie next to me in my bed (in my dreams obviously- you naughty perverts). The whole thing is just bloody scary- I don’t even want to think about being without a job in these troubled times.

Some one once said - A recession is when your neighbor loses his job, a depression is when you lose your job- Sounds right to me

Cheers
S

PS: The only positive out of the whole sleepless nights is I stayed up to watch A R Rahman collect his Oscar and rather strangely I haven’t been able to get the smile off my face. Congratulations son- You have done us all proud- Jai Ho

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Boys do cry

It was a cold morning in December 2007 and I was speaking to a newly married B about the missus and how life has changed in the past 3 weeks (B’s typical answer was- It’s all the same-No difference). B and I are close in a very different way- we don’t talk much about life/feelings. We just keeping calling each other to ensure our life and career are on track. To avoid the awkward moment, and knowing no other mechanism, I had to say something funny- So I quipped- “Now you have someone to take to a movie and make out”- B tried to keep me happy and let out one of those fake laughter’s- You know the one we use your boss says something and think its really funny when its not. He went on to mention that he and the missus had watched Taare Zameen Par last week. Most of my friends are movie buffs and everyone had waxed lyrical about the movie and told me that it was impossible not to cry. So I asked B if he cried and he said yes.

I am not a huge movie fan for a couple of reasons- One – When I go to theatre – My constant need to yap and make smart ass remarks puts off most people and they start hurling abuses at me. Two- I have the attention span of a three year old. But I wanted to watch this movie and find out what all the fuss about. More importantly I wanted to see if I will cry. My sister sobs like a “two year old who has had her candy taken away” every time she watches Kuch Kuch Hota hai and it pisses me off so much for I really think there is nothing to cry about. I thought TZP was another KKHH all over again. So I did end up watching the movie. I did cry when I watched the movie but in my defense it was not for the Dharsheel kids acting but for a small documentary which comes in the movie. So it really doesn’t count.

Fast forward, Jan 2009- Cold February morning- I wake up at half seven and turn the TV on to watch the Australian Open final- Watched a fantastic game between 2 great champions and thoroughly enjoyed the contest without holding an ill-feeling towards the opponent (Nadal- I am a Fedex fan but not a big one- Once Agassi quit I just picked Federer because I thought he was the man who is good enough to knock Pistol Pete off the perch) which is something which never happens when I watch a football /cricket match. My hatred for all things Liverpool / Sachin (Not any more) is/was so intense that I enjoy a perverse pleasure when they don’t perform as well which is not in the spirit of the sport but I couldn’t care less-(Actually I could I am just not trying harder) .

I bawled like a baby when I watched Fed getting all emotional about his defeat. The man is a champion and he hates loosing (I know how he feels exactly). It got me thinking – I have cried so many times while watching a sporting contest- Be the numerous occasions when Lara couldn’t inspire the Windies/ United’s defeat to Benfica to get knocked out of the Champions league/ Our gut wrenching defeat to the blue noses on the eve of the 50th anniversary of the Munich Disaster. How can you not cry when you see Pete Sampras pull out a note from his pregnant wife to over come a difficult time in a game, when Sachin gets a hundred a mere days after his dad attains heavenly abode and looks up in the sky,or David Beckham scores the penalty against Argentina in 2002 world cup and cries thinking about all the hate emails/chants he has had to endure after his moment of madness in the 98 world cup. Sport brings out the raw emotions in people- players and fans alike.

This is when I actually realized what people mean when they say I actually cried when I watched the movie. Art and Sport have this unique ability to make you relate to people we don’t even know in flesh and blood but still make us feel for them. What will we all be without Art and Sport? I shudder to think

Cheers
S

PS: Veteran Actor Nagesh has decided to leave us mere mortals and go back to where he came from. Rest in Peace great man- You have given us an opportunity to realize how brilliant you were for something’s are treasured only when you no longer have them. One of the few times I remember crying when I watched a movie was – Nammavar Scene where he tries to keep his calm after his daughter’s death- Absolute genius