The Big Fat Indian Wedding

There are a few weddings round the corner in the family- P has found her prince charming and has been all smiles for the past few weeks much to the joy /relief of one and all in the family. My cousin A is about to get married sometime next year and some very close friends R and P are also about to take the plunge. As a natural consequence the number of conversations involving weddings have increased manifold. Most people are completely looking forward to the big idea whilst some are not so worried about the wedding and are more worried about the marriage. One such conversation with T leads to this remark from her “it’s such a sheer waste of money and is an annoyingly silly joke with the bride and the groom as puppets who have no clue why they are doing what they are doing! Silly ;) and the ever so subtle VAK man had this to say recently.

As my friends love to remind me – I can start an argument in an empty room – This subject has been evoking some strong and passionate responses- Do weddings have to be a fancy fanfare? I just thought I might add my side of the arguments (Why the heck do people refer to their opinions as $ 0.02- Is it because they know it’s pretty darn useless?). Let me start off by saying I love Indian Weddings- They are an occasion to celebrate and rejoice – not only for the bride and groom but for the entire family. There is hope for a long and a fantastic association not only for the heroes and heroines of the ceremony but for the both the families. Families have always been of paramount importance in Indian customs- How else do you explain the concept of arranged marriages?

Its is so easy for the westerner or the confused nouveau-rich middle class Indian to mock and scoff at the proceedings of an Indian wedding for being a pointless and worthless exercise- but we need to bear in mind that unlike the westerners our lives tend to focus on family rather than the individual. I remember Aishwarya Rai had a brilliant retort to David Letterman –

D (Trying to be smart) - I heard Indians live with their parents even after they are 18
Ash: yeah- At least we don’t have to make appointments with our parents to have dinner together

It has always been about the family – Every success is cherished with the family, every failure is endured together- comfort in numbers. It is a real shame that most of us are ashamed of our customs and traditions- For the last time- Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t make it wrong.

I am not saying that every Indian wedding should be done at the cost of making someone bankrupt- It is after all not a status symbol –Just because Karan Johar decides to get Kajol and Shahrukh married with 7,327 elephants,8,236 band masters and food enough to feed the entire African continent doesn’t mean you have to do the same. We have been accused of showmanship- but what the heck do you expect – It is a celebration and it is bound to go slightly over the top- That is not only an Indian trait- westerners are equally culpable.

I am all for fanciful and fat weddings as long as you can afford it- A son or daughter getting married is a once in a life time thing and people would love to celebrate what is essentially the core values and traditions that define the Indian society with family and friends by bringing them all together under one roof- It’s a time to party and party we will- completely oblivious to what the world thinks of us-

So bring on the 3 day events- 5 course meals-fun and dance- because WE ARE LIKE THIS ONLY and there is not a thing any of you can do about it.

Cheers
S