The year that was 2008

Before any of you think it’s an entry recounting the events that happened across the globe in the past year, it would serve you well to remember I am as self obsessed as the next man. So this is a quick post to reminisce MY past year which had some wonderful memories and some not so wonderful ones. At the risk of sounding clichéd, 2008 was a mixed year. I can’t really say what my biggest take away from this year was.

I can’t remember another year which I was so looking forward to- personally, professionally and academically. Maybe the problem was lofty expectations, unrealistic dreams and a lot of greed. January did not disappoint- I will not lie like many others – I did not have too many dreams/ ambitions when I was a kid-at least I don’t remember the ones that I had.( I did have one stupid dream of playing cricket for the Australian team - I was such a big idiot). I was a happy kid who did not care about anything as long as Patti gave me food 6 times a day and no one asked me to study. I do distinctly remember one such dream -My mom had always wanted to go and see the Alps (Long story- Sivaji Ganesan-die hard fan- sivanthu mann). As fate would have it – my mama, mami and their 2 adorable daughters live in Geneva and were kind enough to put up with my parents for 2 months. So I had arranged for them to have their vacation in Switzerland moving away from our 3000 year old family tradition of going to Delhi/Hyderabad on my dad’s LFC – (I am not complaining- I have had some fantastic times on those LFCs- Nimbu Paanis for 25np, Appu Ghar, Cup-o-Noodles on the train-Getting down in all the stations-Pure Bliss)

February, was one of those mixed months- I was delighted that VAK/S were getting married but disappointed to have missed his wedding. K&S were also getting married and I was generally happy for K – (I didn’t know S before the wedding). Just when I get a little cocky about how wonderful my life is, god plays one of his cruel jokes that he seems to reserve for me- he tempts me with my big dream job in the big apple-picture this it is exactly like that smelly rat going for the masala vada in your kitchen- you guessed it- there is a trap- I get mighty close and US state department decide now is not a good time for me to be in the US- you know with all the great depression round the corner et all.

2 months of trying to work around the system basically meant that my focus was not on my exams- thankfully work was kind to me and I had enough time to catch up. My beloved united were playing some stunning football and help me take my mind of all that is happening around. We are on our way to 10th league title and just one less than the scum and hopefully we will do it May 2009. To make things better we reached our holy grail in Moscow and for the 2nd time in my life time we were European champions. The rejection was now a distant memory and I was pretty darn confident about cracking my exams- After all this was supposed to be my year

I did do my exams wonderfully well and despite the fact the M was leaving us in June there was plenty to look forward too- Orlando trip/more job interviews lined up/didn’t have much to do at work. I got the feeling maybe 2008 was my year. We had a fantastic time at Orlando and I conquered some of bat-shit crazy fears.

The next 3 months are some of the craziest times I have endured- a colleague of mine decides to quit and I am entrusted with more responsibilities at work-I get rejected by a couple of big employers- cause they suddenly had a hiring freeze/I was too young (yet rightly qualified)- I flunk my exams by the thinnest of margins. To top it all I miss one of closest friends wedding in Chennai because I was thinking my big break was round the corner. After all this was my big year. The economy worsens and there was not a chance in hell that I could get my next big break. I was feeling totally worthless and went into a cocoon of sorts.

I went home in November- caught up with lots of friends-enjoyed the extra attention Pattamal street was showering on me-went to banglore- traveled by train after 5 years-went to B&Ls house-met R&J-basically did everything I intended to do. There is something about going home when you live overseas- you basically get up to prospect of doing absolutely nothing bust still get treated like a king- Ah Good times.
The 18 days basically made me realize- Maybe 2008 was not a bad year at all.

Here I am on the last Sunday of this year-looking back at a rather eventful year and thinking 2009 is round the corner- Maybe just maybe it will be MY YEAR

Here is wishing you and yours a happy prosperous and blessed new year

Cheers
S


PS: I am not big on New Year resolutions but these are some of the things I want to do in 2009

a) Watch a game at the theatre of dreams
b) Travel around the world
c) Mostly importantly realize its not important to be RIGHT all the time

This could have been US

Al-Zeidi may have also been motivated by what a colleague described as a boastful, showoff personality."He tried to raise topics to show that nobody is as smart as he is," said Zanko Ahmed, a Kurdish journalist who attended a journalism training course with al-Zeidi in Lebanon.Ahmed recalled that al-Zeidi spoke glowingly of anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, whose followers organized protests on Monday to demand his release."Regrettably, he didn't learn anything from the course in Lebanon, where we were taught ethics of journalism and how to be detached and neutral," Ahmed said.

I have absolutely no intentions of justifying what Mr Al-Zeidi did to the American president. Mr. Bush to his credit (and rather surprisingly) handled the situation very well with a rather cheeky retort. But let’s for a second step back and think about the incident. Forget the fact the he was an well educated journalist- He was just a passionate man who wanted to live in his own country with peace and quiet and not have any external interferences.

This could have happened to any of us- After the Mumbai incident every indian was seething with rage and were generally frustrated that none of saner heads in India could come up with a proper solution to tame the ever increasing menace of people who kill in the name of god. Every Ram, Rahim and Robert could clearly see that the BJP and Congress were blaming the religion they hate to be responsible. We couldn’t give a flying fu*k. All of us have wanted to throw shoes at Idiots standing in front of camera and blaming a particular religion for the terror attacks.

I sincerely pray to god that this situation will never arise in India (or anywhere else in the world for that matter) where educated people throw shoes at idiots because they are not allowed to live in peace in their own country.

Cheers
S

Oh to be a Mylaporean!

I take a huge amount of pride in identifying myself as a Mylapore Tam Bram. It is unbelievably hard to explain why mylapore is such a wonderful. It is neither as sophisticated as Adyar nor as dirty as T Nagar. It has this unique aura about it and you need to live there to actually appreciate it. Technically, I was born and brought up in Mandavelli which is different from Myalpore but still I have this huge affinity to this place. I don’t care what the corporation of Chennai says to me they are the same. Also to me any place starting from Marina Beach to Nandanam signal and Music College to Alwarpet Anjaneyar Koil is Mylapore.

When I was a kid I never appreciated the northern hemisphere/southern hemisphere. The continents were all too complex for me- The world in my innocent head was very very simple- Mylapore and the rest of the world. Anything that wasn’t Mylaporean was alien to me. Unsurprisingly most of my close friends (from school-for I cant claim to have made too many close friends outside school) lived in mylapore- it was more like a requirement- if you had to be my friend you had to be from mylapore. I have heard people say- “I hate Mylapore”- I can’t get my head around it. What the f*ck is not there to be liked? We have the Marina Beach (has to be single most beautiful place on earth), KaBali Koil (I know it’s supposed to be Kapaleeswarar temple- but is sounds so much cooler this way), PS School and of course Pattamal street. We can also boast about having the likes of Crazy Mohan’s/S Ve Shekars/ Cho Ramaswamies living amongst us. (Not to mention Thiruvalluvar!!!- Though I haven’t met him)

Let’s take the case of T Nagar- The place is an absolute sh*t hole. They are just confused- they are not sure if they want to be a cheap shopping market or a proper residential area like Mylapore. The result is crazy traffic which would put Bengaluru to shame. It lacks to the kind of history that Mylapore has. Don’t even get me started on places like Anna Nagar/Nungambakkam. How do people spend their childhood without playing cricket in the gallies. It’s as if they built the roads in these areas for buses and cars to ply- Heck no, it’s for kids to play cricket and break window panes.

The lovely people of Mylapore have their own set of rules to live by. They might sound a little hyprocrictal but there is something endearing about them. Some of the hilariously funny ones are:

a) Thou shalt appoint a know-it-all mama-Every street in Mylapore has to have this know-it-all mama. He should have retired some 10 years ago from a bank (Preferably Indian Bank!). Every problem in the street has to be run past him before we can get to a solution. Whether it is the non-functioning street light or the umpiring decision in the cricket match or the credit crunch in America- His decision is final. There is no appeal to this gentleman’s verdict. He is always right!

b) Thou shalt be a Mylapore Brahmin- We don’t care if you are Iyer or Iyengar- the rules are very simple- You can drink like a fish but should not smoke or eat any non-vegetarian dishes which is not chicken. Hey don’t blame us we don’t make the rules- its just the mylaporean way

c) Thou shalt send your kids only to PS/ Vidya Mandir- In the sixties and seventies this honor went to PS/Raja Muthiah and should you decide to send your girl child to school it had to be Rani Meyammai. Now its strictly PS/Vidya Mandir and St johns if your kid has this mean streak about him

d) Thou shalt not ditch Ambiga Appalam- Anytime one of your relative decides to leave the shores of Mylapore and go to the rest of the world as indicated above you have to get Podis/appalams only in Ambiga Applam. The purists are very offended that this tradition is no longer being followed and people are shamelessly running to Grand Sweets in Adyar-Adyar of all places!!!!

I wouldn’t trade my memories of growing up in the lanes of Mylapore for the world. I am going home in about 2 weeks and I can’t wait to go around the streets of mylapore on my bike with gay abandon.

Cheers
S

Of Quality Spinners, Sledging and Andrew Symonds

There has been a lot of talk about how the Aussies have lost their invincibility and more importantly the reasons attributed to the same-ranging from – Retirement of Shane Warne/Glenn Mcgrath/Adam Gilchrist, the lack of form of Brett Lee and Ponting losing his marbles and how he has suddenly become a bad captain (Dhoni being the new genius!). I have always believed Ponting was never a great captain and will never be one- I am sure the likes of Mark Taylor / Hansie Cronje and Stephen fleming are being seriously offended by these claims by the media- Great player, he is but definitely not a great captain. Another of such myths is that the difference between the 2 sides has always been Gilly- Let me be the one to break this one- Gilly averages 27.89 against us as compared to a career average of close to 48. Whilst I fully understand that he offered them the luxury of playing another all rounder- Brad Haddin offers the same and hence his effect has been nullified.

Before I start giving my reasons for their failings, I have to admit that I haven’t watched the series ball by ball and have only watched 1.5 sessions per day owing to the odd timings at which the game starts. But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. Let me also put my neck on the line and say that Aussies are not on a decline and will come back quite strongly and not surprisingly it would the England in the ashes who will face the brunt!

The biggest reason for their failings in India is the lack of a quality spinner- No shit Sherlock!! But hear me out- They don’t need a spinner who will run through the Indian top order like a hot knife through butter (or Cristiano Ronaldo through a premier league defense –Hehe!) They need a steady spinner who will keep an end tight and allow the likes of Lee Johnson and Clarke to go about their business. The opposition that has done well in India had players like Nicky Boje /Pat Symcox/Paul Harris/Ashley Giles - Not world beaters but people who are willing to do the dirty job for you. It’s a shame that Brad Hogg has retired as he would have offered this and a little more! How the aussies would kill for a spinner like Greg Mathews now? Also can someone please explain the wisdom of playing Cameron white- The man has the control of a drunk lunatic in a skating ring? If he is offering extra batting depth then what the hell is Watson doing? Play a proper spinner for f*ck sake

What in god’s name was Andrew Symonds thinking when he went fishing instead of attending the team meeting? If I was him and I was the one racially abused as he and the rest of the Australian team have been claiming I will be waiting for my chance to come to India and put Harbhajan in his place – Show him who the better player is. As wonderful as an alternative that Shane Watson provides he does not intimidate the Indians as much as Simmo does. That’s the reason everyone goes after him. The aussie middle order is not attacking the Indian spinners as much as they should- Come on after all India are playing a spinner who is still wet behind his ears. Attack them on the field and then start throwing the words. That has been Ian Chappell and Steve Waugh’s mantra all through the years and as much as we all hate it none of us can claim it has not worked. Further, he would have provided an excellent defensive spin bowling option.

Over the years, I am the Aussies have learned that they should not be sledging a few people – Brian Lara/Viv Richards/Chris Gayle to name a few. I remember Lara scoring a rather measured 213 against Australia and thanking Ponting for giving him the challenge he needed after Lara had a shocker of 30 minutes against Lee and Mcgrath and Ricky had some choice words for him. Most of the current Indian crop falls into this category – Dhoni/Harbhajan/Ishant seem to perform better if someone is having a go at them- Let your cricket do the talking and after all they are the best side in the world and have enough ammunition in the armory to beat India or at least pick your targets right

Having said all this I am thoroughly impressed with the way Indians have played thus far in the series and special mention to Sourav for not making his farewell series a media circus. Indian cricket is definitely on the ascendency and there is no denying it. At the moment there is nothing better the world cricket can offer than a closely fought India vs Australia series and this series has been a let down from neutrals perspective because the Real Oz haven’t turned up. I for one am hoping for better contest in the 3rd and 4th Test

Cheers
S

Murali Sharath!

My web space hasn’t had an update for about 6 weeks now. A couple of friends who haven’t had anything to do other than twiddle thumbs at work (S & S – I am looking at the both of you) have been pushing me to write about something. I have had a terrible 2 months (I just realized that the last major excitement I had in my rather inconsequential life was Berba signing for United- Yeah Yeah my life is sad.) A combination of working with a lot of idiots, complete mayhem in the market and a lack of general excitement in life have had me in bad spirits and painfully rather low self esteem so much so that I haven’t been speaking to my dearest/nearest that frequently and am sure at least a couple are raging mad (Sorry T- I am sure things will be fine). Anyway it’s nice to be back and I hope to be more regular.

I have been playing cricket all through summer. A friend of mine called me as a last minute replacement for one of the games. Mediocrity amongst the rest of the gang and an Asian connection earned me the nickname “Murali Sharath”. I have quietly been enjoying the nickname whilst modestly trying to brush aside any comparisons to the champion spinnerJ-. Our team is called Renegades Cricket club and comprises of a bunch of South African/English men and couple of Indians. We are a decent hard working side but the real motivation for most of the team members is the beer. We have been playing in this league for 6 years now and we are the South Africa of evening League- 5 semifinals appearances in 6 years after topping the table in the group stages and yet not a single win.

We did reasonably well in the group stages finishing 3rd and therefore had to face Health Department who finished 2nd after walloping us in a group game when they reached our target of 73 in less than 6 overs. The semi finals was reduced to 10 overs a side (from the customary 20-20) as it was quite late in summer and it was getting rather dark by half seven. We won the toss and decided chose the willow over the cork and we recorded a reasonable 72 of 10 overs despite losing 3 early wickets with hardly any runs on the board. Their openers got stuck into our seamers and piled up 40 runs of our first 3 overs. Shoulders dropped and Nasser Hussien’s famous lines about the English team after they lost the first ashes test in 2005 came to mind- “Same Old Renegades- Same old bloody Renegades”. As a last throw of the dice the skip threw the ball to me and asked me to tie down an end which I have been doing through out the tournament. I bowled spectacularly- (One of my best spell in long long time) - picked up 2/15 in 3 overs. Below mentioned was the actual write up about me in the team magazine-


"By the fifth over the run rate was under six, and the doctors looked ready to sew up an easy victory. Stand-in-skipper Goodyer realised it wasn’t going to be his day with the ball and wisely stepped aside to make way for some sub-continental guile from Sharath. A change in pace and some delightful flight proved difficult to diagnose and the portly Murali took the breakthrough wicket, trapping the batsmen LBW with a quicker ball Yorker. The Sharath and Shillingford partnership started to stem the hemorrhaging slightly and the run rate started to climb again as the wickets fell."

They needed eight runs of the last over and after some tight bowling from my spin twin-R we won the game. I would have picked up the MoM if there was one- Anyways was really glad about our performance and we were in the finals. We will be facing Belmont in the finals that have clearly been the best side in the tournament winning all their league matches and comfortably topping the table. Quick sides note about our opponents in the finals- They took competitiveness to levels unseen in the evening league during our league game by using choicest words to imply I was the half brother of one of their batsman before we exchanged blows on the fields and it was all very ugly.

I was very happy to be facing them in the finals and was praying I will have the last laugh. People who know my ultra competitiveness wouldn’t be too surprised but I was ready for another round of fist fight if it meant I have to win. Unfortunately, that guy missed the finals and I was a tad disappointed.

We won the toss yet again and decided to bat first- It was a rather flat wicket with no moisture as it quite a hot day. I was sure the wicket was going to afford sufficient assistance to the spinners and was looking forward to having a real go at them. We got 139 from 20 over which was a reasonable total but I thought we were about 20 runs short as it was a small ground. As has been the pattern through out the tournament our opening bowlers were murdered and we conceded 33 of the first 3 overs. I was introduced into the attack after my heroics in the semis.

Big Shill and I kept things tight and I was rather unfortunate to not pick up more than the one wicket I got. We dragged us back into the game and gave ourselves a wonderful chance to win the game. Gooders and Ryan continued our good work and we won by about 16 runs. Special mention is due to our skip gooders who stroked a masterful 78 in the blistering heat and this was after the marathon he ran that morning! The magazine had this to say about me:

"Raj was sent to cow corner to think about what he’d done, and Narayan was brought into the attack to provide some vital dots. As in the semi, the Sharath-Shillingford combination seemed to work, slowing the run rate and Narayan thought he had the breakthough when a catch was popped up to Targett and silly-mid on, but somehow Conk contrived to spill it. Sharath’s contribution came to a close with a fantastic caught & bowled in his final over and was replaced by Goodyer, now recovered."


Renegades Cricket Club are the champions of evening league! I don’t know if I am looking fwd to next year as I really hope I won’t be here for the summer!

God luck and Godspeed!!!!

Cheers
S

Berba in the Theatre of Dreams

Just like that famous night in Barcelona when we reached the promised land in extra time, United have clinched the Berba deal well beyond the deadline on Sept 1. I don’t know what it is with United and tight finishes. I don’t know who writes the scripts but it’s pretty darn exciting. Last night WE (and I proudly say we despite all the abuse G and R give me for this) pulled off a deal which was effectively the last piece in the brilliant puzzle- United signed Dimitar Berbatov from Tottenham Hotspurs in a four year contract for £ 30.75M. The moody but brilliant bulgarian will now team up with the likes of Rooney, Ronaldo, Tevez, Anderson, Nani, Giggs and Scholes and the result in all likelihood will be football from the train factory. There are question marks about his temperament but I have absolutely no doubts that Sir Fergie will set this right and even the rivals will grudgingly admire the quality of play. At the risk of offending a few Arsenal fans, I think we can now challenge Arsenal for playing the best passing football in the country.

I am by no means saying we will win the treble this year but any fan who does not get excited by the likes of Berba/Rooney/Ronny/Tevez playing together has to be to be a cynic! I for one am literally creaming my pants!

Bring on the scousers!!

Glory Glory Man Utd.

Cheers
S

An Open Letter to my dear netas

Amidst your busy schedule of addressing public gatherings which are as important as my pub*c hair, could you please get your assistant to set up a meeting? We need to talk.

For over sixty years you have had your way and taken a lot of things from us even if we didn’t want you to- Obscenely rich weddings of your kith and kin, palatial six bedroom apartments, fancy cars and family vacations to the Swiss from money you were taking from us - But still happy to oblige! This is a nation which treats its politicians as demi-gods and you have supporters who are willing to put their life on the line simply because he thinks his leader is not treated with respect. He does this in earnest, believing you are working for the nation’s welfare. In return all we want are a few fundamental things which in my not so humble opinion aren’t too much to ask for!

Religion and Terrorism

We are a secular nation and are highly tolerant one. But that does not mean the people will remain quiet after every atrocity that happens to them. Please do not introduce a religious angle to every political problem and cultivate hatred amongst the people. I sincerely believe most terrorist act has a religious motive behind it and is caused by an earlier discrimination. We as a nation do not want another Gujarat episode and that is exactly what is about to happen in Kashmir. Every inflammatory statement by you will create another series of terror attacks just because an idiot took offence to it.

Curb Inflation

I don’t have the exact facts but I am pretty darn sure that no other country will have a prime Minster and finance minister with a better CV. I would be wasting my time talking to them about the ill effects of inflation. It has to be the single largest deterrent of growth.

Nuclear Deal

As I indicated in one of my earlier posts, we need to get the nuclear deal signed sealed and delivered at the earliest. You can read my thoughts on it at http://sharath-irrelevantrants.blogspot.com/2008/07/well-left.html

Political Heirs

Please stop picking your political heirs from you family. Most of these are people have done a rather poor job of shaping their life. How the fuc* are they going to run this nation? There is a reason why we are a democratic country.

Tata Nano- Farmers vs Industrialization

It will be a bushesque mistake if we don’t encourage a project by one of our biggest and most respected companies which has nearly 34 patents on car design alone with such investment and employment generating potential. It has to be treated like a national project. The state government should ensure the farmers are justly compensated in terms of price for their land and employee opportunities in the car project through suitable policy initiative. It will send all the right signals that we are a nation with the right political atmosphere which is conducive for investment. The growth that we have had since we adopted liberal economic policies is there for all to see.

Olympics and the so called lesser sports

The recently completed Olympics have sent out yet another timely reminder as to how badly we have treated the other sports (except cricket). Its definitely not crickets fault that the other sports have been given step motherly treatment. The administration has failed miserably in not setting up excellence centers and our crab mentality has only achieved in ridiculing the likes of Sania for the attire rather than appreciating her talent. It may be sound clichéd but a nation of billion people can definitely do better than 3 medals

Strikes and Bandhs

There has got be a better way of lodging a protest than to bring the economy to a stand still for a day. It is incomprehensible how a nation which is generally perceived to be hard working has taken such a strong liking to strikes. We have all moaned and complained about the red-tapism and nepotism that exists in government offices yet we have ridiculed the one chief minister that decided to act against this. I am not here to discuss the rights and wrongs of Jayalalitha’s actions but it is just the attitude of the nation that stinks in this regard.

Separatist movements and Kashmir

Kashmir is an integral part of India and we should never compromise even with an inch of our territory. Anytime we bow down to a separatist movement which is keen to use methods aimed at hurting women and children we are setting a precedent. I honestly believe the separate policy on Kashmir has triggered the movement of separatism. Please do away with your Hindu-Muslim bickering ensure that the wishes of Pakistan and the separatist organizations are not fulfilled even if it means by force!

Corruption

It might not be an inappropriate time for me to remind you that you are not an employee in some casino at Vegas who works on Minimum wages and tips! Stop believing it is some sort of god given right for you to earn extra money for doing your job. That’s the not the way it works for the rest of us and there is no frick*ng reason why it should for you. I am sure there should be an easier way to avoid corruption in government offices than for Indian Thatas and Anniyans to come and set it right. If it means it will eradicate the problem I don’t mind a few of each breed.

Sub Nationalism

Please stop all practices which encourage sub nationalism. India need not burn just because dada has been dropped from the Indian team.

I know doing most of the above might not be in your best financial interests but your country needs you now more than ever and after all we’ve done for you it is the least you can do for us!

Love
Disgruntled Indian

Avani Avittam in Bermuda

I absolutely love this festival- the only day I do any remote justice to the cool 25 grand my dad spent on B and me for our Poonal function. I love wearing the veshti although I have never managed to pull it off with grace. I always keep imagining that one day I will have a wardrobe mal function in front of Vicky-our neighbor’s dog and it will actually stick all 4 of its paws into its mouth and drop dead. But thankfully that has never happened and I don’t have to live in guilt for the rest of my life!

I also like the extra attention I get from patti when I wear the veshti- She constantly goes “Enda antha sreecharnmathae innum nanna ittukakodatho- Raja madhiri irrukada” (Why can’t you wear that Sricharnam properly- You look like King”) – (I am as surprised as the folks reading this). It is also the day of raksha bandhan- the day I get to act extra protective to my little sister. It is a day of overall happiness. There is a unbelievable amount of feel good factor when you celebrate these Tam Bram functions- I don’t know what it is – maybe the food or the day when everyone in the family actually forgives each other for all the mistakes we have made through the year. Trust me, coming from a joint family of nine people we constantly need these functions to keep us going- It gives a chance to forgive and re-start the wonderful journey (Man, I am sounding like Oprah suddenly!)

Having decided to go home for Diwali basically meant that I couldn’t be home for Avani Avittam (S, huge and sincere apologies for missing your wedding but my best wishes are always with you). So it was avani avittam at Panaoram Hill in Hamilton Parish, Bermuda. Being the god fearing patti’s little boy that I am, I woke up early in the morning took a shower and diligently sung all 5 slokas that my mom taught me when I was a kid and changed my poonal. It’s unbelievable how you forget the lines if you haven’t even thought about any of them for 2 years. I still remember the dialogues from Rajini’s Moondru Mugam even though I haven’t watched that movie for close to 15 years.

I was thinking that I could have done a even elaborate thing if only I had the “dharbai” as K had ellu and other requirements while chennai online was having an online version of “parachu” at one thousandth of the cost (our vaathiyar in Chennai for close to 130 years who used to charge a million bucks for bringing 4 poonals and mouthing off mantras so fast that sometimes we had the feeling that he has shifted to the Karunanidhi’s school of thought and translated all the Sanskrit mantras into tamil!) Damn, I miss that man- God bless him!

Anyhoo, I had renewed my pledge to uphold to my vedic duties towards humanity at large
K and S being the wonderful souls that they are had invited me for lunch. I managed to reach their place by about eleven. They hadn’t finished cooking as yet and once we exchanged pleasantries the conversation inevitably reached the menu part. I haven’t seen so much food since B and L’s wedding. S had apparently started cooking at eight this morning and I was surprised that she hadn’t started earlier. I am bloody sure that her mom had fed her with Red bull instead of milk when she grew up and all the energy refuses to leave her body. K was his usual self trying to correct every minor error that cropped up and trying to perfect the art of cooking I was still wondering how they come up with the energy to cook so much stuff so early in the morning not only for themselves but for an outsider. Anyway, I am just thankful that such kind souls exist and I get to eat any food beyond Maggi and the magic pastes made at Grand sweets.

We enjoyed the brobdingnagian meal which included Kesari/ Parrupu Payasam/ Vadai (I hate it when people call it vada)/Mooru kozhumbu/sepan kazhungu/parrupu/thaakkali rasam/thayir pachadi/Maanga orukai. It was only fitting that we had such a meal in a vaazhai elai- So K plucked a few leaves from the garden and we couldn’t wait to get our hands on the food. It was unbelievably tasty and aesthetically pleasing! It brought back wonderful memories of avani avittam at Pattamal Street. Home away from home!

It also reminded us of a rant by M at Orlando where he cribbed about how Bermuda was such a horrible place to live and how we are unable to get most of the stuff at Bermuda at times when we needed it most We disagreed with him then, but now I know what he means- How can you not have Ganga water on Avani Avittam day????? It just spoiled the whole experience! – (Sarcasm anybody?????)

Cheers
S


PS: M, I am sure you would have enjoyed this day to bits if you were around in Bermuda. We do miss your wonderfully flawed logics and your innate ability to argue about absolutely everything under the sun, not to mention your gift of being able to speak first and then think about what you said! Good luck with everything you take up back home and wishing you the best in everything!!!!!

Volley Ball

Almost every weekend of the past year has been spent on the lovely beaches of Bermuda diligently playing volley ball trying to hone our skills. We have desperately tried to understand the nuances of the game. The exact rules of the game have remained as big a mystery as who killed Kennedy but that hasn’t stopped us from arguing about the net touch/net cross/ carry and what not. We have sledged each other so much that we would have put the aussies to shame.

About a month back we decided to enter an amateur tournament to test ourselves against the rest of Bermuda. After a zillion arguments about the team composition and strategy we decided to enroll 2 teams. The big day was Saturday Aug 9th. I am just back from the beach with a severe sun burn (Hey I’ve got a tan nowJ-) and a severely bruised ego. Within a matter of 2 and half hours we got fu*ked more times than a Bangkok prostitute would in a year.

Bring on the tennis from next week!

Cheers
S

Dance

I have always wondered why I am such a poor dancer! Honestly, I love to dance and it’s pretty hard for me to keep my emotions in check anytime there is an occasion to shake a leg. (Trust me, the only time I should ever shake my leg is if dog po*p is stuck to my feet). I have always been very passionate with the things I like and believe in and suffice it to say I don’t suc* at doing things I like to do. But despite my best efforts I have always ended up making a fool of myself when it comes to dancing.- Case in point being B and P’s wedding and New years at café cairo- I would actually give up all my savings (which isn’t much though) if I could go back in time and erase them- What the feck was I thinking?

I was randomly watching videos on youtube last week and there I found the answer to my question: I grew up watching these guys dance and now I am wondering how I turned out this good.-


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaN_GJZo6ck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VnIaiVeHiM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkUyW1YHPbM

Enough Said!!!!

Cheers
S

Well Left!

Thank god for small mercies! The left party is out of the government – When were they in the government to be out of it? All they have been doing for the past 4 years is to raise objections to any scheme that would have beneficial to the country at large. One of the fellow blogger has raised a pertinent question as to why the Left hadn’t joined the government and taken portfolios like social welfare etc and show what they can do instead of doing a Ramdoss in Tamil Nadu.

For the uninitiated the nucleus of the Indo-Nuclear deal is as follows. The right minded people (read pro nuclear deal) see it as an avenue for increased supply of nuclear fuel without us having to sign the Nuclear Non Proliferation Treaty. We will be able to purchase nuclear equipment from the likes of Russia and of course the alpha dog YOU YES YEAH. We can safely envisage a situation where the entire country would become like Gujarat which proudly proclaims 98% of the state to have electricity. It will also hugely help us achieve the rather unrealistic growth targets we have for the next five years. These things are of course possible even without the nuclear deal but it will take a sweet twenty years and India cannot afford to wait thus long at this crucial juncture.

The anti-deal junta basically claims that it will affect India’s ability to pursue and develop nuclear technologies to the nation’s benefit and will make us dependent on the US for nuclear fuel- a stand which has clearly been challenged by some of the most intelligent minds in India including Abdul Kalam. (I can’t believe Ms Prathibha Patel is now occupying the same chair as Mr Kalam but I will save that rant for another day). I am no expert in this whole nuclear deal saga but am more than happy to follow the same as stand as the likes of Manmohan Singh/Abdul Kalam rather than a bunch of no-hopers who are not mature enough to take responsibility for their own actions and would rather criticize everything.

I would have loved to see what stand the left would have taken if the counter party to the nuclear deal was China instead of USA. I am sure Mr Karat would climb down from his moral high horse and would have started brown nosing the Chinese who in my opinion are as reliable a neighbor as the left are a coalition partner .The fact that congress has been losing all the state elections of late had given the left the edge in this whole “we will pull the plug drama” as the congress weren’t confident of winning any elections at this point in time. I am also terribly ashamed of BJPs role in this whole saga and the fact they have used this issue to try and bring the government down clearly indicates the abysmal levels to which modern day politicians have stooped to. I am sure Gandhi and Nehru are turning in their graves after seeing this latest Indian tamasha!!

No Longer do I have to wake up and read any statements issued by Mr Karat and Co and take any of this seriously. I was also reading some articles about the alleged bribery and horse trading that was involved in the trust vote- Here is my take on it- If such acts would result in left staying out of the government I am more than happy to contribute my share of bribery, please do let me know where to address my cheque! Please stay away from the government and you guys can keep continuing the wonderful service to Kerala and West Bengal- after all I couldn’t give a flying f*ck to any state that is rule by you guys.

Cheers
S

Cricket’s nearly men

A friend of mine recently wrote a blog about his favorite but unheralded cricketers (http://vatsap.blogspot.com/2008/06/back-to-cricket.html) and I have shamelessly decided to pinch his idea and come up with my own list of cricket’s nearly men. These are cricketers who are immensely talented but somehow did not make the impact commensurate with their talent. I have obviously not included the likes of V V Kumar, Bob Taylor, Sylvester Clarke for I haven’t watched them in action. So here goes my list in no particular order

1) Ian Bishop (West Indies)

Tall, well built and unbelievably quick- this Trinidadian could have delayed the inevitable decline of cricket in the caribbean. I love him even more for the fact that I don’t remember anyone troubling sachin tendulkar more than him. Any write up about Bish would be incomplete without a mention about his 6-40 at the WACA. Thanks to back injuries the world of cricket was deprived of a world class fast bowler.

2) Graeme Hick (England)

I have watched enough county cricket to be certain that he should have been in the same bracket as Lara’s and Tendulkar’s. The man has to be the archetype of unfulfilled talent. I don’t agree with the claims about him being “England’s answer to Bradman” only because I haven’t watched the Don enough. His innings of 405* against Somerset and his famous 309 in under seven hours against the Irish have been raved by everyone who has watched the game I have always thought Hick can be as good as he wants to be- and he turned out to be as good as he wanted. He never wanted it enough! His aversion to the limelight didn’t help his cause. A combination of Ambrose’s short pitched deliveries, Ray Illingworth being an idiot and Atherton’s infamous declaration wrecked a career that could have been so different.

3) Carl Hooper (West Indies)

As an avid supporter of the West Indian cricket and cricket in general there is nothing in modern cricket more frustrating than to see Hoopsy throw his wicket away. Till date the best players of spin bowling (that I have watched) have to be Lara and him. It is an absolute joy to watch him toy with the likes of Kumble and Warne. Cricket is the biggest loser as “Poor man’s Richards” hasn’t fulfilled his true potential.

4) Stuart Macgill (Australia)

Anybody who has picked up over 200 wickets in 44 test matches cannot be branded as unfulfilled potential. But, that explains what the world cricket has missed out on. It is an absolute shame that Stuey was born in the same era as the indomitable Warney. He would have been heralded as a modern great if he was playing for some other country. His inconsistency is unbelievable annoying but we have to bear in mind the fact that leg spin is the most difficult art to master in the world of cricket.

5) Vinod Kambli (India)

It is not out of contempt (towards Sachin) that I keep repeating that Kambli should have been a better batsman than tendulkar. He was prodigiously talented and the cricketing gods have wasted so much time in creating a player who was deemed not good enough for the Indian team Till date this has to be the biggest mistake the Indian cricket authorities have made- Not taking care of Kambli when he needed us most. His double centuries against England and Zimbabwe were the stuff of men against boys at the time when he was not old enough to grow a tasche’. Imagine if he had got the same support that Kaif and Yuvraj had from Ganguly and Dalmiya – he would have plundered attacks, given that he loves batting with Sachin.

6) Laxman Siva Ramakrishnan (India)

What makes the Kambli episode even more frustrating is the fact that we had a similar experience with Siva. Any bowler who can leave Javed Miandad stranded in the middle of the pitch with nonchalant ease has to be an outstanding spinner. The amount of wickets he purchased with full tosses and half volleys explains the dip that he’s got and is something Warne would have loved in his armory. The fact that Sachin wanted him to be his net bowler when he was planning the famous assault against Warne at time when Siva was coming back from his drug addiction is probably the biggest compliment someone can pay to him.

7) Basit Ali (Pakistan)

Basit Ali is the closest someone will ever get to the great Javed Miandad. If he had Javed’s temperament we would have been talking about a modern great and not of a nearly man. His unorthodox style and fearless batting made him one of the most difficult batsmen to bowl at. His 67 ball hundred against the Windies (second fastest then) was one of the best exhibitions of batting against fast bowlers in ODIs. Players like Basit and Kambli reiterate the need of professional set-up in cricket- What could have been?

8) Simon Jones (England)

I can hear you guys saying” One swallow doesn’t make a summer” but I really think this guys was the real deal. Freddie takes a lot of credit for the poms winning the ashes in 2005 but in my opinion it was Simon who made the difference. He was the unfashionable 4th seamer but he always did his job. I remember Boycott mentioning in an interview that he was watching jones bowl from behind the square he could hear the ball thudding into Geriant Jones’s gloves. He was deceptively quick and in my opinion the best exponent of reverse swing after Waqar Younis.

9) Darren Lehmann

Boof has to be one of the most intelligent one day cricketers of the modern era. Apart from his odd moment of brilliance and being one of the best team players his potential was largely unfulfilled. He has scored more than 10,000 runs in Aussie domestic league (which is one of the most competitive leagues and is not like England where every tom dick and harry can amass 10K runs if he plays 100 games) before making his test debut. Warne rates him as a better one day batsman than most of his contemporaries.

10) Shoaib Akthar

Cricket’s most popular bad boy had to make the list. If his will to succeed were as big as his ego or his desire to be in the limelight he would be entered the cricketing history books as one of the best fast bowlers in the modern era. Graham Gooch famously retorted to Ian Botham “Who writes your scripts?”- It would have been even more apt for Akthar- His every comeback is even more dramatic than his downfall. There is always a feeling that Akthar plays cricket for the Camera’s- Perfect for the IPL as my friend keeps reminding me.

Thank you gentle men – You guys have made the sport what it is today- What is sport without these nearly stories. Every time I watch the game I have silently prayed and hoped that this would be the game you will shed you nearly men image and prove to the world your real worth.

Cheers
S

Travel Diary- Orlando – Part Deux

Day 3- Sunday June 15th

Yesterday was quite hot but the forecast for the day was for a few possible showers. We didn’t want it to rain but would definitely have welcomed the odd shower. The agenda for the day was to visit the Sea world and do what we called the “fancy dinner”. Fancy dinner is nothing but our jargon for trying a new cuisine. We narrowed our choices to either of the three- Brazilian, Mediterranean or Mexican. It is funny because in all these restaurants there will exactly be one vegetarian dish and we would literally plead with the hot waitress not to add anything which remotely resembled a broccoli or a mushroom and we would want it desi style with unbelievable amounts of masala. Hey, you can’t take the indian out of us!

Sea world- there is something about a theme park that brings out the kid in all of us, especially if it has anything to do with water. The irony again is that 3 out of the 5 of us couldn’t swim. We were totally looking forward to it despite being bloody tired. We watched dolphins glide in a pool and were quite desperate to touch it but smart bugger wouldn’t come near us unless we had food in our hands. I did manage to touch a slimy jelly fish and trust me it didn’t feel good touching it. Then came the biggest challenge- the KRAKEN- this was supposed to biggest and longest roller coaster ride in all of Orlando. Those cheeky bastards had posters all over the theme park daring us to do the ride and it was the challenge the three little (actually quite old) devils were up to. KD tried to spice up things a little bit by pushing S and me to do the ride by sitting in the front row. I came up with a rather lame excuse of longer queues for the first row and “chickened out”. I was nervous and was having a chat with the operator and she scared me further by saying that the ride would last 3 minutes and 45 seconds. I was sure that it would seem like eternity on a roller coaster. I told myself I am not going to yell irrespective of how scary the ride was – As Russell Peter’s says “Be a man do the right thing”. I didn’t yell and enjoyed the ride while S let out the customary shriek and I think KD was scared for the first time. I don’t think the ride lasted more than 2 minutes. I indulged myself by buying a rather costly panama hat after the successful ride. I think it looks cool but my friends except KD think it looks quite silly.

We watched a show which was based on the Pirates of the caribbean and was enacted by Sea lion and 2 otters. The sea lion had an uncanny resemblance to me given its size. Thank heavens I shaved my moustache a year back or else even my mom would have been confused. We grabbed a quick bite and then decided to go a wild arctic tour. We had to reach the place in a simulated chopper ride which will plummet into the ground and then take off just before hitting the ground. The estimated speed of the ride was 440 mph/-. We did not understand the magnitude of the ride until we experienced it. It had all of us shaken and stirred and another couple of minutes I am sure one of us would have puked. The most affected was K- he was sweating like a pig. I am sure the man was the first and probably the only bloke who will ever sweat in the Arctic. We saw a polar bear which apparently sleeps for 16-18 hrs per day. I remarked- Its not sleeping it has just fainted seeing K sweat in the arctic. K and M had opted out of the all rides because they wouldn’t feel comfortable and ironically joined us in the craziest ride of them all- the simulated chopper ride

The highlight of the day was the “Shamu show” that we watched. It was a show about 5 killer whales that worked with a few men and women and put up an incredible performance. It just seemed to obey every order (or request- those creatures are unbelievably big) that was laid to them. For the second continuous day the last act was incredible and the best of the day that we went back quite satisfied.

Now to the fancy dinner- I had a terrible head ache and didn’t really care which cuisine we chose as long as we finished dinner and were back to the hotel early. An over zealous M talked us into trying a Mediterranean restaurant while the rest of us were leaning towards Mexican. Unsurprisingly as it so often is the case we didn’t get a huge variety of vegetarian dishes and this led to M wanting to change our dinner place. KD was already quite annoyed about having “late” dinners (at 8.30 or later) and came bloody close to flipping out. But she held her nerve. K, S and me understood the situation and said that we wouldn’t mind having a pizza as long as KD held back. M didn’t quite the hint and was insisting for a change despite being the guy who picked this restaurant. The moment passed peacefully and we did do Mexican.

Day 4- Monday June 16th

Last day- The plan was to do a boat ride in a swampy area and have the chance to look at some exotic birds and a few alligators. Given that the trip involved two pretty women there isn’t chance in hell that we couldn’t have got away without shopping. We left the hotel by about half nine in the morning and took a 30 minute drive to reach this place. There weren’t a lot of people and the water wasn’t tempting. We went on a speed boat and got quite excited every time the water splashed on our face. The gators chose not to see my face and all we got to see was one baby gator and 4 birds which basically meant we spent 4 bucks per animal. Quite costly I would say.

Given that I had bought a panama hat yesterday I felt like a crocodile hunter and decided to pose with a gator in my hand. The fact that its mouth was plastered seemed trivial to me but seemed ultra important to anyone who saw the pic- people are picky. We did some shopping in the afternoon and I bought myself a pair of shoes and some clothes. It seemed quite strange to me that K was taking the missus’s advice every time he picked a shirt- this from a man who used to dismiss everyone’s idea about which clothes to pick till about 3 months back. Marriage does bring a huge change in men.

We went out for a drink in the evening and also wanted to catch a glimpse of downtown-Orlando. The place was unbelievably quite and empty and we couldn’t believe that there were so many bars and corporate houses in that area. We were having a quite chat and did some touristy things like taking pictures in front of statues. The madness was increasing and we then decided to smoke a cigar. We bought 2 cigars and decided to share them – None of us had a clue about which cigar to buy-the only ones we knew were Cubans and these are illegal in the US. We decided to go with something called a blondie- It is so much different from a cigarette – KD and M explained it was because we weren’t inhaling the smoke.

We came back to the hotel and ordered Indian food and turned in by about 12. We had a flight to catch at six in the morning and had to leave the hotel by 4 much to M’s annoyance who didn’t have a flight to catch until half seven.

Orlando is a wonderful place and I would recommend it to almost anyone. I am so glad we didn’t do a vegas.

Cheers
S

Travel Diary- Orlando – Part Uno

My exams got over about 2 weeks back and I have had all the time in the world to do some things I like doing / plan to do- Go on a vacation/ finish reading John Wright’s book,learn a new language to mention a few. Top of that list was a get away from the island for a short vacation. I didn’t care where I went as long as I got to do something new and see a few new faces. Further, M and R&K (who got engaged recently -hearty congratulations again- you won’t believe how happy I am for you guysJ-) would be leaving Bermuda soon and we have been wanting to do another Montrealesque trip. After exchanging countless emails since mid-april about the likely dates and destination we finally decided sometime in end of May that it would be Orlando between June 13th and June 17th.(which BTW is an outstanding achievement given our history of making plans through emails have been as successful as South Africa winning a cricket world cup).

To be honest I was never convinced about this trip being an enjoyable one and my fears were compounded when G& KR decided to drop out due to personal reasons and R got stuck at work and couldn’t make it. Anyone with whom I discussed the trip about came with the remark- “Why Orlando? You guys should do vegas”. I have never been a fan of vegas despite all my acquaintances drooling over the prospect of a trip to Vegas. Just like alcohol, gambling has never fascinated me. I really don’t understand what the big deal is???? Is it so cool to gamble and lose money????? Anyway we decided to go ahead with the trip and it was K,S,KK (ok I will do this only once to annoy you – hence forth I shall address you as KD) M and me. I was just hoping that KD wasn’t going to be bored as R had pulled of the trip and it would make it extremely uncomfortable for the rest of us.

Day 1- Friday June 13th

We took the afternoon flight and reached Orlando via Philadelphia at about 10.30pm and M joined us directly from New-Jersey. The flight was rather pleasant and we had booked ourselves a nice and comfy hotel which was quite some distance from downtown Orlando but was close to the other places which we wanted to see. We went out for a drink and were planning to be back early. The next day was birthday and it had made it mandatory to stay up until 12 so that we could have the customary but embarrassing and “SURPRISING” cake-cutting ceremony. S exhibited childish exuberance while I was cutting the cake while the rest of the crew (including me) went through the motion. It is no wonder she is the youngest of the gang (not by much though!). I had a pomegranate margarita as KD’s insisted that I should. I am no alcohol virgin but this is the first time I had ordered a full drink for myself and I am rather embarrassed that I had picked myself a “girly” drink. I am thinking I have to watch a few hundred girl on girl porn videos to move away from the feminine feeling. We were back at the hotel by half twelve. Long day ahead tomorrow.













Day 2- Saturday June 14th

Ever since my 23rd birthday the lead up to my birthdays has been rather depressing. The fact that I wasn’t where I should be at this stage in life was always bothering me and hence the my birthdays haven’t been happy occasions irrespective of how and with whom I have spent the day. This year seemed different. I was feeling nice. We had breakfast at the restaurant in the hotel and made plans for the next 3 days including reservations and taxi appointments. As is so often the case KD and K made all the planning whilst I kept nodding my head and making wise-ass comments which added no value to the discussion. M was his self as he kept saying “Perfect”, “sounds good” without adding any new ideas while S was just way too excited about the trip that we were sure she wasn’t even listening to the plan.

We had planned to spend the whole day at Universal studios. Of late I have wanted to overcome some of my bat-shit insane fears in life. Some of the rather embarrassing ones are fear of dogs/cats (even if they are as the same size of a squirrel) fear of water (I have enrolled myself in a swimming class and I am working towards getting over it) and the perennial fear of talking to pretty women. As a kid every time we went to an amusement park all I would do was to eat pop-corn and sweet candy and wait for long hours for the rest of the gang to comeback from the rides. I kept telling myself I would feel giddy going for these rides while I have never ever been on one. Deep down I was scared of those giant-wheels and roller coaster but I conveniently believed it that I would feel giddy.





KD,S and me decided we were going to do all the crazy rides while K and M opted out of the roller coasters and agreed to join us on the others (alternatively as KD likes to remind the boys they “chickened” out). I think M wanted to do these rides but wasn’t confident enough. Hey, who am I to judge after all I was scared all these years. We decided to do the mother of all roller coaster rides first- “THE INCREDIBLE HULK”. It was humongous and quite scary for someone like me who doesn’t enjoy looking through the window from an airplane. It was unbelievable and we thoroughly enjoyed it. KD absolutely loved it (she has done these before), S was thrilled to bits and she let out a girly shrill which lasted the entire ride and sounded pretty much like the old mice which gets stuck in a mouse trap and I was too scared to let go the hand guard even when it looked like my glasses would fall off. Through out the trip we were suckers for good snaps and we ended up paying 50 bucks every time the camera in the rides captured natural images of being scared. We ended up spending quite a bit on photos alone but am sure it will be worth it.

K and M decided to ditch us and went to watch a blue men group show- A trio of mute performers. They enjoyed the show while we were busy conquering every other crazy ride. A special mention has to be made for the “Mummy returns” ride which was unpredictable and had nice 3D-animations. It was quite hot in Orlando and we decided to get a drink and something to eat before we watched the Cirque du Soleil show. We were bloody tired and weren’t too keen on watching the show. The group is from Quebec and only way KD was missing this show was one of us had a stroke. So we reluctantly went to this show which features acrobats, dancers, gymnasts and clowns in a combination of theater and circus. We were soooo wrong- the show had to be the highlight of the trip. It was a performance for an hour and half and the synchronization they displayed would have put Olympic swimmers to shame. Absabloodylutely fantastic! A long day where I had overcome one of my fears- A birthday I will remember for quite a while.


Ok, this one is taking much longer than I expected but I shall continue my blog when I find time. Sorry folks you might have to wait for some more time!

Cheers
S

American Television

It’s been exactly 2 years to the day I landed in Bermuda still skeptical if I had made the right choice in moving out of my comfort zone – Pattamal Street. I have been rather lucky and I say this with the utmost modesty and nicest way possible – I have always had the privilege of being the first among equals. It is probably one reason why I never tried to expand my close friend’s network beyond the wonderful 10 people I lived with. Let me go one step further and say this at the risk of offending my mom and mapppiya- When I was kid my mom let me do things that she would never ever let my sister do.

I am digressing- It’s been 2 years and am very glad that I no longer have to watch the likes of Metti Oli, Kolangal et all when I am having dinner (completely involuntarily). I have always considered the quality of Indian television to be appallingly poor. I have never liked those long “Mega Serials” with the over-dramatic mother in law always plotting to kill the lead protagonist who interestingly had the sympathy of one and all even my patti of all people who wouldn’t give a flying fuc* about anything that did not involve our family. I have never been able to get my head around how the guys producing these shows came up with the idea of selling something as stupid as this. But I am wrong – this kind of TV sure sells in India.

But nobody can sell television like the Americans do. Whilst they have come up with absolute beauties like F.r.i.e.n.d.s, Seinfeld and the like they can also come up horror shows like “The Jerry Springer Show”- The show generally deals about illegitimate affair, incest and what not. They have people coming on television to discuss the dark secrets of their lives in front of live audiences- these are people who are not even sympathetic, they boo and taunt the participants and have a field day at someone’s expense. The worst part about the show is not any of the above, they have a short window where Mr. Springer actually allows the participants to exchange blows to vent out their frustrations only to be “refereed” by some ex-cops whose role is to prevent things from going out of control.

Then, there is the “Maury show”- which focuses on the proving or disproving a child’s parentage through paternity tests. The mother of all these shows in my opinion is the “Moment of Truth”- a show where contestants are made to face a lie-detector upon giving answers to some of their darkest secrets in life (The Americans borrowed the Moment of truth concept from the English). It is absolutely incomprehensible to even think what people will be willing to do if they are told they will be offered some money. As Alan says the “depth of such degeneracy continue to astound me”. All they are doing is exploiting dysfunctional families and selling it to the public at large. I have no words to describe what is says about the producers of these shows or the viewing public.

What is even more annoying is these are the same American people who are criticizing Bollywood movies for being too over-dramatic and stereotypical. The phrase pot-Kettle-black comes to mind. The day when we will see Shah-Rukh hosting a Jerry Springer show equivalent on Sony TV with Mr Sharma exchanging blows with Mr Patel over the alleged relationship the former had with latter’s wife is not far off given that Indian television has been aping everything the Americans have been doing.

Cheers
S

PS: Here is wishing R a smashing birthday and a wonderful year ahead! Here is hoping you get everything you want (most of which you deserveJ-) in the coming year.

Guest Bloggers

Hey All,

I have always wanted guest blogger’s on my web-page. A friend of mine volunteered to write about United's season and the previous blog was from him. For the uninitiated Kamesh is a die-hard Manchester United fan for the past 10 years who has been fortunate enough to have watched both of United's triumphs in Europe (that lucky rat basta^d). When he is not screaming abuses at the television during a united game, Kamesh is a Group Manager with a Hedge fund administrator and a loving husband to S.

Please direct all abuses to kamesh @ kamesh.rajagopal@gmail.com

I would like to thank Kamesh for finding the time amidst his rather busy schedule of booking tickets to Orlando and speaking to S 8 times during the day.

Thanks man, appreciate the effort

Cheers
S

Glory Glory Manchester United!!!

Here you go, I am trying my bit to write a blog and it is not off great surprise to everyone that I chose to write about sports and about the glorious season of Manchester United.

If you have to describe the season in five words it would be Glory,Giggs,Ronaldo,Moscow and Munich. The season started with an almost suicidal stumble, when United couldn’t get more than two points in their first three games. When you look back to the season, most will forget the start and the 3 single-goal wins after that, before defeating Sporting away in Europe (another 1-0) and Chelsea at home with their first 2-goal match of the season. Once that hurdle was crossed the streak started and the goals started to pour in and the man RONALDO took centre stage. What a player and what a season.
Genius is a word which is quite commonly used in football nowadays (esp. to the overrated English players) but if there was one player who deserves every bit of accolades he is getting that is Ronaldo. Hopefully the english media will stop the crap of him not performing on big occasions after CL final. There were many moments of magic from him this season but for me the back flick against Aston Villa was out of this world, this boy is a f* genius.

In CL, UNITED had a fairly comfortable run till the SF and against Barcelona one of the goals of the season from Scholes took them through. In the finals as correctly said by Sir Fergie fate (after 50 years of Munich tragedy) gave United the third European title as Chelsea had one hand on the trophy when Terry came to take the spot kick.
In the league I believe the goals against Middlesboro and Blackburn gave United the title. It was during that period when there was dip in the form mainly due to Vidic’s injury (another outstanding season) which made defense more susceptible (6 goals conceded in the last 5 games against 15 conceded in previous 33 games).
The man of the season was obviously Ronaldo but due credit should be given to the stubborn display from the back four (Ferdinand at last had a season to remember) and their performance against Barcelona summed up the entire season. The season’s four big acquisitions (credit to Queiroz) have been able to make good contributions. Tevez has played brilliantly all season; 19 goals, his unbelievable energy & effort and his late goals (3) remind me of another united legend Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. Hargreaves played well during the end of season (he was injured during the first half of season). Anderson and Nani have had an up and down season. Anderson has been praised by the media and is believed by many to replace Scholes (he has a long way to go). I am not very impressed by Anderson so far as I feel he is one dimensional and teams will know him better after this season but having said that he is only 19 and it would be interesting to see next season how much these two have progressed.

The season ended with Ryan Giggs getting past Sir Bobby Charlton’s record of 758 appearances, the script couldn’t have been written better coming of the bench to score the goal against Wigan to seal the league title, a TRUE UNITED LEGEND. It has been a great season and it would have unbelievable had United managed to win TREBLE though that’s being little greedy.It’s been a dream come true for me as well to go to THEATRE OF DREAMS, thanks to my better half (S).



Cheers
Kamesh

Russian Roulette

Exciting times - summer is here, the sun is shining, I am off to Orlando in 3 weeks time, Madhu is leaving the island in 2 weeks time (Good riddance from bad rubbish- just kiddingJ-) and sweet lord Manchester United are European Champions again. God does love me extra special. The evening of May 21 2008 will be etched in my memory for many births to follow. Edwin Van Der Sar –You f*cking beauty!

I was away at training and was cursing my luck (read my boss). If I was at work I would have had a word with him to sneak out half three to watch the game. As luck would have it the training manager was nice enough to let us all leave by the time the match began and we went over to K & S’s to watch the game-about 8 of us. 2 die hard Utd fans, 1 Loyal Chelsea fan, I closet United fan, I closet Chelsea fan , 2 neutrals and one old bugger who came for the cookies and coffee.

On to the game now, I was rather surprised and disappointed by Sir Alex not selecting Park and Saha even on the bench but as a loyal red devil we never second guess the boss. If he says United are from Republic of Mancunia rather than England I will believe him. The boss also sprang the customary surprise in the big game by playing Hargreaves on the right wing to counter the threat of Essien by playing Cristiano “The world’s best player by a country mile” Ronaldo on the left. Another master stroke by the gaffer as Essien was turned over by Ronaldo as frequently as an Aloo Paratha in a Punjabi dhabha. After dominating the possession for about thirty minutes with more than a handful meaning full attacks came the wonderful cross from Wes brown (with his left foot) to the leaping head of Ronnie. Essien was a mere spectator.

Chelsea’s only meaning full attack of the half resulted in goal by Lampard-one of the few occasions where a deflection set up a goal rather than it resulting in it. One-One at the break and the banter amongst us was increasing. I was so glad that I was watching the game with my mates for I would have definitely pee’d my pants if I was watching it alone. The second half was rather forgettable for United fans as Chelsea dominated possession and even hit the bar twice whilst United were lacklusture and tired. To be honest I never thought Chelsea would score even after having so much possession. Then came a moment in the game which in my opinion was absolutely pivotal, Giggs replaced Scholes and moved on to the right whilst Hargreaves moved to the centre with Carrick who as he often does went quiet when the tide wasn’t favoring United. But the lad has been great generally and I don’t want to be nit-picking. Giggs with his experience and Hargreaves with his calmness slowed the pace down and United were looking a far better team after that.

On to extra time which was surprisingly interesting given that the teams had played 90 minutes of hard fought game in the slippery turf on a rainy night in Moscow. Carvalho had a cramp and Chelski put the ball out of play. When play resumed Tevez chose to pay Chelski back with a taste of their own medicine when he chose to kick the ball far away rather than hand back possession to Cheleski, My friend AP always keeps saying that chelski are a dirty team and they always have a shot on goal at the pretext of returning the ball to the opposition in similar circumstances. The guardians of sporting play that Lampard and Terry are chose to confront Tevez and what followed was kinder garden stuff. Words were exchanged, abuses hurled but then the scum Didier drogba decided to do the unthinkable- He slapped Nemanja Vidic- We all know Didi is not the most intelligent man on the planet but even he should know you never lay your hand on Nemanja- He is one guy you don’t want to meet in a blind alley. Drogba gets sent off-It couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke-The man epitomizes everything that is wrong with modern day football- The man plays for money (which I don’t mind) but kisses his badge every time he scores when he has absolutely no love for Chelski and honestly believes he is better striker than Sheva- A final word-Sod off to Milan you dirty bastar* for that extra 1 million and please ensure that door doesn’t hit your fat as* when you are leaving.

On to penalties and like every good drama it had a wonderful and ironical climax-The world’s best player, one of the best dead ball specialist, lethal penalty taker misses the most important penalty thus far in his life- it brought back memories of Baggio in the 94 world cup. It had to happen and I called it right. Advantage Chelsea –terry to take the last kick and K and I had given hope. But my friend Chelsea supporting friend made the cardinal sin of moving away from his seat for he couldn’t take the pressure, we all know you don’t move from your lucky seat when things are going your way. JT slips (or didn’t he??) and misses the penalty as all English men seem to do on big occasions. VDS saves the penalty from Anelka after Giggs/Anderson and Kalou all get their penalties in and the rest as they say is history.

Manchester United had reached the promised land and now they are the best team in Europe. United celebrated crazily but deservedly. like only they could. I felt a little sorry for JT and ronaldo too for it could have been so different if JT scored. We popped a bottle of champagne at my friends place and I was signing “Championey Championey Ole Ole Ole “all night. My mind was constantly humming “Glory Glory Man Utd”

Take a bow you red devils- European Champions in the year we commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of one of the biggest sporting tragedies of them all-the Munich disaster. It had to happen- It always seems there is a god given right for United to win these big games.

Cheers
S
PS: Paul Scholes showed on the night what a class act he is. Whist the rest of squad was happy to mob VDS after he saved the penalty the man walks up to JT and gives him a hug. You sir are an absolute champion and the likes of Gerrard and Lampard are not fit to lace your boots.- Lampard and Gerrard –England’s golden generation-my arse

If only I could see what lies ahead

I am at a point in life where I am expecting quite a few changes over the coming months. I have no fuckin* clue as to what lies ahead but am pretty damn sure its going to be extremely interesting. I have my exams in about 20 days and hopefully this will be the last time I write this exam (or any exam) ever in my life. Actually no, I am rather sure that I will find another course to keep me occupied once (fingers crossed) I get beyond this. Hopefully it will open a few more opportunities for me in life as I think I am ready for my next challenge.

I so badly want to get through the next 20 days unscathed and then look forward to what lies ahead. This whole suspense is just killing me and I can’t wait for it to get over. Then there is this small matter of the champion’s league final on this Wednesday when United play Chelski. It might sound very trivial to most but I am sure I will not be able to get out of bed to drive my ass to work on thursady if heavens forbid United should lose it.

I have been having these strong rushes of blood ever so often these days as I don’t seem to be having to patience to actually wait for these events. If only I had a crystal ball just to take a quick peek into it and figure out what lies ahead for me.

Cheers
S

Capital Punishments

I was recently reading the news item about Ms. Priyanka Gandhi going to the vellore prison and meeting the savage assassins of her father and national leader Rajiv Gandhi. Nalini has since sought the assistance of the Gandhi family to get her death sentence revoked and reduced to a life sentence. Despite all the xenophobic hatred from my fellow country men towards Sonia, I have always found her to be quite intelligent (when compared to the average Indian politician). I understand that the Gandhi family have never wanted death penalty for the assassins and have been doing their bit in this regard. But for fuc*s sake Rajiv Gandhi is not the only person who was killed in the episode. I fully understand it is preposterous to even indulge in a debate as to who has had a bigger loss in such a tragedy but surely there should be some perspective. (I have always found it funny that every time an important personality is killed it’s called a assassination- How important should a person before such an act becomes a assassination rather than a murder?)

This takes us to the bigger question, should capital punishments be abolished? I am quite sure that there are sufficient organizations who champion this cause and I thought I might add my 2 cents to this argument (and more importantly get the views of people). A rouge elephant running amok and causing havoc has to be killed without trial. As adorable as the elephant (normally) might be we have to kill it in an instant for it is a danger/threat to the society at large. It is a difficult pill to chew but it has to be done if you are to cure the illness.

Death is probably the only thing that instills a fear of god amongst the die hard criminals who do not think twice before raping a 12 year old or cause havoc in a market place by placing a bomb and taking the life of innocent civilians. No amount of justification justifies the killing of million innocent civilians in the name of religion or any thing for that matter. Tolerance is an over rated trait and it has only emboldened these vermin’s to commit more such sins or take others for granted. Capital punishment will by no means stop the ever increasing crime rate but it will act as a deterrent. The kith and kin of these barbaric bastar*s might try to drive some sense into them and it might stop the odd crime. I have always very strongly believed that there is always one person for each of us in this world whose word we will take however head strong and adamant each one of us are. It is the hope that moves us all forward and what is life without the eternal hope that someday everything will fall in place and there will no be no misery in god’s beautiful world.

“Reform the criminal: be kind to him. But the criminal who can be reformed is not the problem. If you can reform him (or her) reform him; that is all. Do not make him a martyr. The real problem is the criminal you cannot reform: the human mad dog or cobra. The answer is, kill him kindly and apologetically, if possible without consciousness on his part. Let him go comfortably to bed expecting to wake up in the morning as usual, and not wake up. His general consciousness that this may happen to him should be shared by every citizen as part of his moral civic responsibility.”

-G B Shaw

I couldn’t agree with Shaw more. Kill the criminal but kill him using a lethal injection or slow poison, please do not hang the man till his eye balls pop out or his tongue falls on the ground and for the love of god please do not show it on national television. Further, please use the petition judiciously and not use it to reprieve the likes of terrorists who attack the parliament or father’s who have their daughter’s in captive for 24 years and rape them every night. I have always had a lot of time for Mr Kamal Hassan, the man makes intelligent movies but I hated the movie Virumandi (I loved the screenplay by the way) for the uninitiated the movie justifies abolishment of capital punishments using the example of a man who commits 27 murders but blames the society for the same. Sir, what do you want us to do when we capture Bin laden?? Imprison him for 13 years or fine him a million dollars- surely not!

We will weed out atleast a hundred human nuisances (literally and other wise) if capital punishments are not abolished and it will instill a fear which seems even more necessary given that there are a lot of predators with whom we share god’s green earth

Cheers
S

An Open Letter to my Amma

Dear Amma,

I am not sure if this is the best way to do this but what’s important is what I say and not the medium through which I say it. Also the fact that it’s been absolutely ages since I actually wrote a letter (the last one was when I wrote one to T when she was still in Pune). I probably haven’t said this enough times and I know it wouldn’t be enough even if I said it every time the sun rises in the east but still for what ever its worth – Thank you so much for everything and I love you like only I do.

I wouldn’t be half the person that I am today if it was not for you. I absolutely shudder to even imagine what life would have been if it was not for you. I know you have always believed in me more so than I ever did which has given me the strength to do certain things that I wouldn’t have otherwise done. The late night stories, evening visits to marina beach, the secret dose of Nuts and Almond every night are memories I will carry into my next birth. Whilst I keep telling you that the stories you tell me on the phone these days about our neighbor’s cow having a new calf are mind numbingly boring I think I have started to enjoy them at some level.

I am pretty sure I have let you down a few times and all I can say is I am very sorry and there isn’t a chance in hell that it was intentional. What better day to say I love you more than mother’ day- Its is not extra special to me because I can hardly relate to it but it just gives me a chance and an occasion to say it

From the bottom of my heart thanks amma for everything!

Cheers
S

PS1: Its not that often that I get in touch with my feminine side for I have always believed if I had a feminine side that female would have dumped me already. But, what the heck it’s for my mom I have decided to go ahead and post my blog

PS2: Almost all my blog’s thus far have had a PS. Why is it that I always have a after thought?

My First Love

She is probably the most I have missed ever since I decided to leave the shores of Singara Chennai in pursuit of a different challenge and the ever increasing desire to make more money. I have known her for close to 20 years and there have been few things in life which have given me more joy than sit and stare at her. She is by no means the prettiest of them all but there is definitely something about her that makes me feel better about myself however bleak the situation looks. I don’t think there have been too many weekends with me not spending atleast an hour with her. I have even been crazy enough to go and see her at half eleven after coming home from a soul sucking day at work.

Anyone who has read my last 5 web entries should have known by now that I am not talking about a woman- I am referring to the “Marina Beach”. Despite living in a country that prides itself of having a beach which ranks in the top 100 beaches of the world, I still believe I would give my “right arm” to spend an hour at the Marina than the beaches of Bermuda. As appealing as blue-green water and sand as soft as a new born child’s skin are there is something about the Marina –the ambience, the milieu, the… I don’t know what, that is missing in the other places. I know I sound outrageously ridiculous but it’s just like every guy (ok most guys) who think that their wife/ girl friend is the most beautiful lady to walk god’s green earth! Forget that my mom thinks I am handsome and intelligent – Can you beat that?



It’s probably the memories that I carry from my salad-days, the countless hours spent with my dear friends discussing the rights and wrongs of Indian cricket (or as my friend D says- We would have bought BCCI if only we had the money to just run it the right way) / the family problems / hours spent with T sitting and discussing this cynical world. It gave me an avenue atleast in my head to right all the wrongs of this world, perfect the imperfections. Alas what would the world be if everything was perfect, if Marina was not strewn with the garbage and the stench of dead fish every time you go near the tireless waves each trying to better the previous one?


It would take a dozen rounds of vodka (as heard from my good mates in Bermuda who drink as though god has given them 5 livers and as if the world wouldn’t exist tomorrow) and a severe bout of amnesia for me to forget the time when I woke up at half five to get a glimpse of the sunrise (when did I care about sunrise???- I went there coz B wanted me to go), the havoc created by the mighty Tsunami (very proud that Marina bravely bore the brunt) and the zillion times I enjoyed the panju mittais/ molaga bajjis/ north indian chat with a strong South India flavor (yes it happens only in Marina!!)- Absolutely priceless!

Where ever I go what ever I do, I will always miss Marina- My Marina

Cheers
S.

PS: My friends R & J celebrate their wedding anniversary next week, here is wishing the couple a happy and wonderful anniversary and here is to many more!

My Blog

It’ been a good two months since I started writing on my web space and I have to admit that I have absolutely loved every bit of it. I have been (and still am) very skeptical about my writing skills and my ability to pick topics to write on. Given that I have always had an opinion about everything that goes on around me (capital punishments / public display of affection / arranged marriages et all) and the fact that I have always been very passionate about the things that I believe in, it is rather surprising that I hadn’t started writing earlier. Anyhoo, I am just glad that I started writing and hope to do so for a while. I keep thinking that me having my own web space is akin to a chimpanzee having its clarinet- The chimp loves it but its total nuisance to everyone around. (Tough luck boys, you have to put up with my dross for a while!).

I have never been able to make up my mind if I am writing to gratify a fetish of expressing my opinion on a subject matter or getting a perspective from the select few who actually read my blog and whose opinion actually matter to me. I think it’s a combination of both. My friend P is of the strong opinion that he writes only because he enjoys it and doesn’t really care what other think. While I disagree respectfully I am glad I am getting a different opinion even on simple things like these.

A couple of interesting things about my blog:

I was curious about the visits to my blog and decided to look up the stats last week. I was astonished to see that the numbers had spiked significantly last week. (I am not going to reveal the numbers to save myself some embarrassment). I was thinking to myself that maybe my writing was as bad as I thought and I should start giving myself a little bit of credit. After all I had come up with a blog about which most people tended to agree with me (Reservations) and another on some reasonable funny incidents that happened around me (10 things that have made me laugh/smile recently). So I decided to look up for the key words that brought people to my blog and to my shock horror found out that 2 out of the top three search words something I never imagined :

1) Shriya+Sex+Video
2) OBC Resrvations
3) Shah Rukh Khan+Sex

Oh sweet lord! Anyone who is trying to get more hits to the blogsite???? You guys know what needs to be done. Just stick a couple of soft porn videos on your website and hits galore. Further which crazy rat basta#d was looking for SRK’s porn???

Not able to withstand the humongous pressure that my beloved patti has been subjecting me to get married, my mom and dad being the dutiful parents that they are took my horoscope to the family astrologer. Following are the salient points of their discussion:

Ø He reckons that I won’t get married until the year 2010.
Ø He reckons that mine would be an arranged marriage much to the delight of my patti
Ø He reckons that I might pursue higher education

I have a strong feeling that this gentleman has made all his predictions based on my 2 blogs:

Could there beeee a better bing? – I rather embarrassingly admitted that I am pathetic with women.

To M (Be) A or not M (Be) A – Wherein I expressed my desire to pursue higher education

It’s good to know that my blog is being read by masses far and wide.

Cheers
S

PS: Thanks for all the good souls who have made it a point to read my rather boring ramblings. What will I do without you guys??