Friday, May 30, 2008

American Television

It’s been exactly 2 years to the day I landed in Bermuda still skeptical if I had made the right choice in moving out of my comfort zone – Pattamal Street. I have been rather lucky and I say this with the utmost modesty and nicest way possible – I have always had the privilege of being the first among equals. It is probably one reason why I never tried to expand my close friend’s network beyond the wonderful 10 people I lived with. Let me go one step further and say this at the risk of offending my mom and mapppiya- When I was kid my mom let me do things that she would never ever let my sister do.

I am digressing- It’s been 2 years and am very glad that I no longer have to watch the likes of Metti Oli, Kolangal et all when I am having dinner (completely involuntarily). I have always considered the quality of Indian television to be appallingly poor. I have never liked those long “Mega Serials” with the over-dramatic mother in law always plotting to kill the lead protagonist who interestingly had the sympathy of one and all even my patti of all people who wouldn’t give a flying fuc* about anything that did not involve our family. I have never been able to get my head around how the guys producing these shows came up with the idea of selling something as stupid as this. But I am wrong – this kind of TV sure sells in India.

But nobody can sell television like the Americans do. Whilst they have come up with absolute beauties like F.r.i.e.n.d.s, Seinfeld and the like they can also come up horror shows like “The Jerry Springer Show”- The show generally deals about illegitimate affair, incest and what not. They have people coming on television to discuss the dark secrets of their lives in front of live audiences- these are people who are not even sympathetic, they boo and taunt the participants and have a field day at someone’s expense. The worst part about the show is not any of the above, they have a short window where Mr. Springer actually allows the participants to exchange blows to vent out their frustrations only to be “refereed” by some ex-cops whose role is to prevent things from going out of control.

Then, there is the “Maury show”- which focuses on the proving or disproving a child’s parentage through paternity tests. The mother of all these shows in my opinion is the “Moment of Truth”- a show where contestants are made to face a lie-detector upon giving answers to some of their darkest secrets in life (The Americans borrowed the Moment of truth concept from the English). It is absolutely incomprehensible to even think what people will be willing to do if they are told they will be offered some money. As Alan says the “depth of such degeneracy continue to astound me”. All they are doing is exploiting dysfunctional families and selling it to the public at large. I have no words to describe what is says about the producers of these shows or the viewing public.

What is even more annoying is these are the same American people who are criticizing Bollywood movies for being too over-dramatic and stereotypical. The phrase pot-Kettle-black comes to mind. The day when we will see Shah-Rukh hosting a Jerry Springer show equivalent on Sony TV with Mr Sharma exchanging blows with Mr Patel over the alleged relationship the former had with latter’s wife is not far off given that Indian television has been aping everything the Americans have been doing.

Cheers
S

PS: Here is wishing R a smashing birthday and a wonderful year ahead! Here is hoping you get everything you want (most of which you deserveJ-) in the coming year.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Guest Bloggers

Hey All,

I have always wanted guest blogger’s on my web-page. A friend of mine volunteered to write about United's season and the previous blog was from him. For the uninitiated Kamesh is a die-hard Manchester United fan for the past 10 years who has been fortunate enough to have watched both of United's triumphs in Europe (that lucky rat basta^d). When he is not screaming abuses at the television during a united game, Kamesh is a Group Manager with a Hedge fund administrator and a loving husband to S.

Please direct all abuses to kamesh @ kamesh.rajagopal@gmail.com

I would like to thank Kamesh for finding the time amidst his rather busy schedule of booking tickets to Orlando and speaking to S 8 times during the day.

Thanks man, appreciate the effort

Cheers
S

Glory Glory Manchester United!!!




Here you go, I am trying my bit to write a blog and it is not off great surprise to everyone that I chose to write about sports and about the glorious season of Manchester United.

If you have to describe the season in five words it would be Glory,Giggs,Ronaldo,Moscow and Munich. The season started with an almost suicidal stumble, when United couldn’t get more than two points in their first three games. When you look back to the season, most will forget the start and the 3 single-goal wins after that, before defeating Sporting away in Europe (another 1-0) and Chelsea at home with their first 2-goal match of the season. Once that hurdle was crossed the streak started and the goals started to pour in and the man RONALDO took centre stage. What a player and what a season.
Genius is a word which is quite commonly used in football nowadays (esp. to the overrated English players) but if there was one player who deserves every bit of accolades he is getting that is Ronaldo. Hopefully the english media will stop the crap of him not performing on big occasions after CL final. There were many moments of magic from him this season but for me the back flick against Aston Villa was out of this world, this boy is a f* genius.




In CL, UNITED had a fairly comfortable run till the SF and against Barcelona one of the goals of the season from Scholes took them through. In the finals as correctly said by Sir Fergie fate (after 50 years of Munich tragedy) gave United the third European title as Chelsea had one hand on the trophy when Terry came to take the spot kick.
In the league I believe the goals against Middlesboro and Blackburn gave United the title. It was during that period when there was dip in the form mainly due to Vidic’s injury (another outstanding season) which made defense more susceptible (6 goals conceded in the last 5 games against 15 conceded in previous 33 games).
The man of the season was obviously Ronaldo but due credit should be given to the stubborn display from the back four (Ferdinand at last had a season to remember) and their performance against Barcelona summed up the entire season. The season’s four big acquisitions (credit to Queiroz) have been able to make good contributions. Tevez has played brilliantly all season; 19 goals, his unbelievable energy & effort and his late goals (3) remind me of another united legend Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. Hargreaves played well during the end of season (he was injured during the first half of season). Anderson and Nani have had an up and down season. Anderson has been praised by the media and is believed by many to replace Scholes (he has a long way to go). I am not very impressed by Anderson so far as I feel he is one dimensional and teams will know him better after this season but having said that he is only 19 and it would be interesting to see next season how much these two have progressed.


The season ended with Ryan Giggs getting past Sir Bobby Charlton’s record of 758 appearances, the script couldn’t have been written better coming of the bench to score the goal against Wigan to seal the league title, a TRUE UNITED LEGEND. It has been a great season and it would have unbelievable had United managed to win TREBLE though that’s being little greedy.It’s been a dream come true for me as well to go to THEATRE OF DREAMS, thanks to my better half (S).



Cheers
Kamesh

Russian Roulette

Exciting times - summer is here, the sun is shining, I am off to Orlando in 3 weeks time, Madhu is leaving the island in 2 weeks time (Good riddance from bad rubbish- just kiddingJ-) and sweet lord Manchester United are European Champions again. God does love me extra special. The evening of May 21 2008 will be etched in my memory for many births to follow. Edwin Van Der Sar –You f*cking beauty!

I was away at training and was cursing my luck (read my boss). If I was at work I would have had a word with him to sneak out half three to watch the game. As luck would have it the training manager was nice enough to let us all leave by the time the match began and we went over to K & S’s to watch the game-about 8 of us. 2 die hard Utd fans, 1 Loyal Chelsea fan, I closet United fan, I closet Chelsea fan , 2 neutrals and one old bugger who came for the cookies and coffee.

On to the game now, I was rather surprised and disappointed by Sir Alex not selecting Park and Saha even on the bench but as a loyal red devil we never second guess the boss. If he says United are from Republic of Mancunia rather than England I will believe him. The boss also sprang the customary surprise in the big game by playing Hargreaves on the right wing to counter the threat of Essien by playing Cristiano “The world’s best player by a country mile” Ronaldo on the left. Another master stroke by the gaffer as Essien was turned over by Ronaldo as frequently as an Aloo Paratha in a Punjabi dhabha. After dominating the possession for about thirty minutes with more than a handful meaning full attacks came the wonderful cross from Wes brown (with his left foot) to the leaping head of Ronnie. Essien was a mere spectator.

Chelsea’s only meaning full attack of the half resulted in goal by Lampard-one of the few occasions where a deflection set up a goal rather than it resulting in it. One-One at the break and the banter amongst us was increasing. I was so glad that I was watching the game with my mates for I would have definitely pee’d my pants if I was watching it alone. The second half was rather forgettable for United fans as Chelsea dominated possession and even hit the bar twice whilst United were lacklusture and tired. To be honest I never thought Chelsea would score even after having so much possession. Then came a moment in the game which in my opinion was absolutely pivotal, Giggs replaced Scholes and moved on to the right whilst Hargreaves moved to the centre with Carrick who as he often does went quiet when the tide wasn’t favoring United. But the lad has been great generally and I don’t want to be nit-picking. Giggs with his experience and Hargreaves with his calmness slowed the pace down and United were looking a far better team after that.

On to extra time which was surprisingly interesting given that the teams had played 90 minutes of hard fought game in the slippery turf on a rainy night in Moscow. Carvalho had a cramp and Chelski put the ball out of play. When play resumed Tevez chose to pay Chelski back with a taste of their own medicine when he chose to kick the ball far away rather than hand back possession to Cheleski, My friend AP always keeps saying that chelski are a dirty team and they always have a shot on goal at the pretext of returning the ball to the opposition in similar circumstances. The guardians of sporting play that Lampard and Terry are chose to confront Tevez and what followed was kinder garden stuff. Words were exchanged, abuses hurled but then the scum Didier drogba decided to do the unthinkable- He slapped Nemanja Vidic- We all know Didi is not the most intelligent man on the planet but even he should know you never lay your hand on Nemanja- He is one guy you don’t want to meet in a blind alley. Drogba gets sent off-It couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke-The man epitomizes everything that is wrong with modern day football- The man plays for money (which I don’t mind) but kisses his badge every time he scores when he has absolutely no love for Chelski and honestly believes he is better striker than Sheva- A final word-Sod off to Milan you dirty bastar* for that extra 1 million and please ensure that door doesn’t hit your fat as* when you are leaving.

On to penalties and like every good drama it had a wonderful and ironical climax-The world’s best player, one of the best dead ball specialist, lethal penalty taker misses the most important penalty thus far in his life- it brought back memories of Baggio in the 94 world cup. It had to happen and I called it right. Advantage Chelsea –terry to take the last kick and K and I had given hope. But my friend Chelsea supporting friend made the cardinal sin of moving away from his seat for he couldn’t take the pressure, we all know you don’t move from your lucky seat when things are going your way. JT slips (or didn’t he??) and misses the penalty as all English men seem to do on big occasions. VDS saves the penalty from Anelka after Giggs/Anderson and Kalou all get their penalties in and the rest as they say is history.

Manchester United had reached the promised land and now they are the best team in Europe. United celebrated crazily but deservedly. like only they could. I felt a little sorry for JT and ronaldo too for it could have been so different if JT scored. We popped a bottle of champagne at my friends place and I was signing “Championey Championey Ole Ole Ole “all night. My mind was constantly humming “Glory Glory Man Utd”

Take a bow you red devils- European Champions in the year we commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of one of the biggest sporting tragedies of them all-the Munich disaster. It had to happen- It always seems there is a god given right for United to win these big games.

Cheers
S
PS: Paul Scholes showed on the night what a class act he is. Whist the rest of squad was happy to mob VDS after he saved the penalty the man walks up to JT and gives him a hug. You sir are an absolute champion and the likes of Gerrard and Lampard are not fit to lace your boots.- Lampard and Gerrard –England’s golden generation-my arse

Friday, May 16, 2008

If only I could see what lies ahead

I am at a point in life where I am expecting quite a few changes over the coming months. I have no fuckin* clue as to what lies ahead but am pretty damn sure its going to be extremely interesting. I have my exams in about 20 days and hopefully this will be the last time I write this exam (or any exam) ever in my life. Actually no, I am rather sure that I will find another course to keep me occupied once (fingers crossed) I get beyond this. Hopefully it will open a few more opportunities for me in life as I think I am ready for my next challenge.

I so badly want to get through the next 20 days unscathed and then look forward to what lies ahead. This whole suspense is just killing me and I can’t wait for it to get over. Then there is this small matter of the champion’s league final on this Wednesday when United play Chelski. It might sound very trivial to most but I am sure I will not be able to get out of bed to drive my ass to work on thursady if heavens forbid United should lose it.

I have been having these strong rushes of blood ever so often these days as I don’t seem to be having to patience to actually wait for these events. If only I had a crystal ball just to take a quick peek into it and figure out what lies ahead for me.

Cheers
S

Friday, May 9, 2008

Capital Punishments

I was recently reading the news item about Ms. Priyanka Gandhi going to the vellore prison and meeting the savage assassins of her father and national leader Rajiv Gandhi. Nalini has since sought the assistance of the Gandhi family to get her death sentence revoked and reduced to a life sentence. Despite all the xenophobic hatred from my fellow country men towards Sonia, I have always found her to be quite intelligent (when compared to the average Indian politician). I understand that the Gandhi family have never wanted death penalty for the assassins and have been doing their bit in this regard. But for fuc*s sake Rajiv Gandhi is not the only person who was killed in the episode. I fully understand it is preposterous to even indulge in a debate as to who has had a bigger loss in such a tragedy but surely there should be some perspective. (I have always found it funny that every time an important personality is killed it’s called a assassination- How important should a person before such an act becomes a assassination rather than a murder?)

This takes us to the bigger question, should capital punishments be abolished? I am quite sure that there are sufficient organizations who champion this cause and I thought I might add my 2 cents to this argument (and more importantly get the views of people). A rouge elephant running amok and causing havoc has to be killed without trial. As adorable as the elephant (normally) might be we have to kill it in an instant for it is a danger/threat to the society at large. It is a difficult pill to chew but it has to be done if you are to cure the illness.

Death is probably the only thing that instills a fear of god amongst the die hard criminals who do not think twice before raping a 12 year old or cause havoc in a market place by placing a bomb and taking the life of innocent civilians. No amount of justification justifies the killing of million innocent civilians in the name of religion or any thing for that matter. Tolerance is an over rated trait and it has only emboldened these vermin’s to commit more such sins or take others for granted. Capital punishment will by no means stop the ever increasing crime rate but it will act as a deterrent. The kith and kin of these barbaric bastar*s might try to drive some sense into them and it might stop the odd crime. I have always very strongly believed that there is always one person for each of us in this world whose word we will take however head strong and adamant each one of us are. It is the hope that moves us all forward and what is life without the eternal hope that someday everything will fall in place and there will no be no misery in god’s beautiful world.

“Reform the criminal: be kind to him. But the criminal who can be reformed is not the problem. If you can reform him (or her) reform him; that is all. Do not make him a martyr. The real problem is the criminal you cannot reform: the human mad dog or cobra. The answer is, kill him kindly and apologetically, if possible without consciousness on his part. Let him go comfortably to bed expecting to wake up in the morning as usual, and not wake up. His general consciousness that this may happen to him should be shared by every citizen as part of his moral civic responsibility.”

-G B Shaw

I couldn’t agree with Shaw more. Kill the criminal but kill him using a lethal injection or slow poison, please do not hang the man till his eye balls pop out or his tongue falls on the ground and for the love of god please do not show it on national television. Further, please use the petition judiciously and not use it to reprieve the likes of terrorists who attack the parliament or father’s who have their daughter’s in captive for 24 years and rape them every night. I have always had a lot of time for Mr Kamal Hassan, the man makes intelligent movies but I hated the movie Virumandi (I loved the screenplay by the way) for the uninitiated the movie justifies abolishment of capital punishments using the example of a man who commits 27 murders but blames the society for the same. Sir, what do you want us to do when we capture Bin laden?? Imprison him for 13 years or fine him a million dollars- surely not!

We will weed out atleast a hundred human nuisances (literally and other wise) if capital punishments are not abolished and it will instill a fear which seems even more necessary given that there are a lot of predators with whom we share god’s green earth

Cheers
S

Thursday, May 8, 2008

An Open Letter to my Amma

Dear Amma,

I am not sure if this is the best way to do this but what’s important is what I say and not the medium through which I say it. Also the fact that it’s been absolutely ages since I actually wrote a letter (the last one was when I wrote one to T when she was still in Pune). I probably haven’t said this enough times and I know it wouldn’t be enough even if I said it every time the sun rises in the east but still for what ever its worth – Thank you so much for everything and I love you like only I do.

I wouldn’t be half the person that I am today if it was not for you. I absolutely shudder to even imagine what life would have been if it was not for you. I know you have always believed in me more so than I ever did which has given me the strength to do certain things that I wouldn’t have otherwise done. The late night stories, evening visits to marina beach, the secret dose of Nuts and Almond every night are memories I will carry into my next birth. Whilst I keep telling you that the stories you tell me on the phone these days about our neighbor’s cow having a new calf are mind numbingly boring I think I have started to enjoy them at some level.

I am pretty sure I have let you down a few times and all I can say is I am very sorry and there isn’t a chance in hell that it was intentional. What better day to say I love you more than mother’ day- Its is not extra special to me because I can hardly relate to it but it just gives me a chance and an occasion to say it

From the bottom of my heart thanks amma for everything!

Cheers
S

PS1: Its not that often that I get in touch with my feminine side for I have always believed if I had a feminine side that female would have dumped me already. But, what the heck it’s for my mom I have decided to go ahead and post my blog

PS2: Almost all my blog’s thus far have had a PS. Why is it that I always have a after thought?

Friday, May 2, 2008

My First Love

She is probably the most I have missed ever since I decided to leave the shores of Singara Chennai in pursuit of a different challenge and the ever increasing desire to make more money. I have known her for close to 20 years and there have been few things in life which have given me more joy than sit and stare at her. She is by no means the prettiest of them all but there is definitely something about her that makes me feel better about myself however bleak the situation looks. I don’t think there have been too many weekends with me not spending atleast an hour with her. I have even been crazy enough to go and see her at half eleven after coming home from a soul sucking day at work.

Anyone who has read my last 5 web entries should have known by now that I am not talking about a woman- I am referring to the “Marina Beach”. Despite living in a country that prides itself of having a beach which ranks in the top 100 beaches of the world, I still believe I would give my “right arm” to spend an hour at the Marina than the beaches of Bermuda. As appealing as blue-green water and sand as soft as a new born child’s skin are there is something about the Marina –the ambience, the milieu, the… I don’t know what, that is missing in the other places. I know I sound outrageously ridiculous but it’s just like every guy (ok most guys) who think that their wife/ girl friend is the most beautiful lady to walk god’s green earth! Forget that my mom thinks I am handsome and intelligent – Can you beat that?



It’s probably the memories that I carry from my salad-days, the countless hours spent with my dear friends discussing the rights and wrongs of Indian cricket (or as my friend D says- We would have bought BCCI if only we had the money to just run it the right way) / the family problems / hours spent with T sitting and discussing this cynical world. It gave me an avenue atleast in my head to right all the wrongs of this world, perfect the imperfections. Alas what would the world be if everything was perfect, if Marina was not strewn with the garbage and the stench of dead fish every time you go near the tireless waves each trying to better the previous one?


It would take a dozen rounds of vodka (as heard from my good mates in Bermuda who drink as though god has given them 5 livers and as if the world wouldn’t exist tomorrow) and a severe bout of amnesia for me to forget the time when I woke up at half five to get a glimpse of the sunrise (when did I care about sunrise???- I went there coz B wanted me to go), the havoc created by the mighty Tsunami (very proud that Marina bravely bore the brunt) and the zillion times I enjoyed the panju mittais/ molaga bajjis/ north indian chat with a strong South India flavor (yes it happens only in Marina!!)- Absolutely priceless!

Where ever I go what ever I do, I will always miss Marina- My Marina

Cheers
S.

PS: My friends R & J celebrate their wedding anniversary next week, here is wishing the couple a happy and wonderful anniversary and here is to many more!